I know such an old lady. She told me that she has been married for 35 years and the relationship between husband and wife has always been very good. One woman is married and the couple are retired at home. In the last six months, my husband began to lose his temper for no reason and talked about some unpleasant things all day. No matter what she does, he will be sarcastic, and sometimes even come out by himself, with terrible eyes. Through talking, I know more about this family. When I was young, my husband was busy at work, and I didn't want to take care of things at home, and I didn't have time to take care of them, while my wife was more capable and she took care of everything at home. After retirement, the husband began to ask about family affairs. He likes to go out for a walk with his wife and visit friends. After his wife retired, she found a job outside and was away from home all day. A year ago, my wife suddenly asked her husband to sleep in separate rooms without consulting him, on the grounds that getting up at night would affect his rest. He was so angry that his wife ignored him.
The old couple's marriage is facing a crisis: because the environment has changed, their respective requirements have also changed. With time to control themselves, they don't have to take care of their children and be busy with their work. They hope to try some new lifestyles to make up for their previous regrets. For example, the husband wants to manage the family, do housework, spend more time with his wife and enjoy family happiness, but he is not so interested in the outside world. The two had different ideas, but there was no effective communication, so the husband expressed his dissatisfaction by venting.
Emotional communication between husband and wife is very important at every stage of marriage, but many elderly couples ignore this. They think that an old couple is married, and sometimes they feel embarrassed if they are as unnecessary as young people. In fact, when people are old, husband and wife are more like partners and friends, and they need mutual care, help and understanding. To do this, the only way is communication and communication. Understand their needs through communication and exchange, bridge differences, draw strength from past life and find solutions to problems.
After retired cadres leave their posts, their thoughts, emotions, words and deeds often appear abnormal. If the wife doesn't understand that this is a normal phenomenon that will inevitably occur at this stage, she won't be considerate and care about him, and even quarrel, which is bound to become more and more serious. Therefore, it is necessary for elderly couples to learn some physiological common sense and psychological common sense from positive aspects. The most important thing is to actively adjust the relationship between husband and wife and constantly strengthen their feelings. It should be admitted that in the past family life, couples who entered the old age at this stage made much more efforts in housework, serving the elderly and raising children than their husbands. When these burdens are relieved, especially after the husband retires, we should try to establish a new relationship between husband and wife. A husband should be considerate and concerned about his wife, repay her hard work for the family for many years, and take the initiative to undertake housework within his power. Even if you are willing to learn from scratch, it will be a great comfort to your wife. On the other hand, if you don't understand your wife's psychological requirements, you don't take the initiative to undertake some housework, or you are still full of food and clothes on the grounds that you can't. It will also affect the relationship between husband and wife for a long time.
These contradictions are inevitable for any couple in life, and the key is to solve them actively and in time. Generally speaking, when one side is angry, the other side should avoid its sharp edge, make concessions quietly, and then exchange views after the other side calms down, so as to solve the problem. If tit-for-tat, uncompromising, the result will intensify contradictions. In addition, when there is a conflict between husband and wife, remember to tell the truth, never turn over old scores together, and never use extreme language or even unfeeling language. As long as we are willing to be kind to others and unite and reconcile, no matter how big the contradiction is, it can be solved. On the other hand, if the contradiction is not solved well, it will even hurt the feelings of the other party, which will also affect the feelings of husband and wife.
Old couples need mutual understanding and care. In a family based on marriage smoke and blood relationship, the relationship between husband and wife is an important part of family relationship and the most basic relationship in family relationship. There is both emotional affection and social responsibility, so a high degree of harmony and harmony is needed between husband and wife. In particular, menopausal couples have been running for society and family for most of their lives. When facing retirement and going home to spend their old age, they need to help each other, understand each other and care for each other. However, some couples often think that they are an old married couple, and it's no big deal, but they don't pay attention to adjusting the relationship between husband and wife, and they are careless and don't care about the contradictions that occur. As a result, the relationship between husband and wife is getting worse and worse, resulting in disharmony and even breakdown.
Husband and wife love each other and live in harmony. Even without the love, respect and filial piety of their children, they can maintain a good mental state. The mental state is closely related to personal health. When people are in excellent mental state, they can promote the secretion of substances beneficial to the body. These substances can adjust the blood flow in the body and the excited state of nerve cells to the best state, which is of great benefit to human health. On the contrary, if the husband and wife are unhappy and full of melancholy all day, it will cause the secretion disorder of these beneficial substances, which will lead to a series of diseases such as hypertension, arteriosclerosis and metabolic disorder. Therefore, menopausal couples should understand each other, take care of each other, respect each other and love each other.
To respect and care for each other, we should not only communicate with each other emotionally, but also understand and understand each other in daily life and affairs, especially when we are in poor health or unhappy mood, the situation of losing our temper will increase. At this time, the understanding, help and understanding between husband and wife are particularly needed. In daily life, the old couple convey their affection for love in a caring way. Their words and deeds, smiles and smiles are full of affection that only two parties can feel. This is a kind of tacit understanding in the concrete communication of mutual respect, mutual care, mutual help and mutual understanding, which will make couples who have experienced vicissitudes of life and human suffering feel the new content of love and increase the harmony and harmony between husband and wife.
In addition, do more housework after school. Both men and women will have more free time after retirement. Using spare time to do more housework and share more family responsibilities has many other benefits besides regulating the relationship between husband and wife. Doing so can not only alleviate psychological loneliness and boredom, but also reduce factors that are not conducive to physical and mental health; It can also enhance physical fitness and maintain vigorous energy; But it is more important to get along with his wife's feelings, so that they can feel that the other party knows the cold and the hot, and there is a sense of family warmth. This can not only increase the interest of family daily life, but also enhance the feelings of husband and wife, so that they can be physically and mentally healthy, live a happy life, have a harmonious family and be happy in their later years.