Take our nearest home as an example.

What happened to your family?

A Your sister-in-law is my wife. Who do you think she should sleep with?

Of course I should sleep with you!

But she slept with my brother.

B what! Your daughter-in-law won't sleep with you. She slept with your brother?

A isn't it!

B come on! Come on! Wash your dirty linen in public!

I won't tell you until there are no strangers here.

B there are no outsiders here! (of the audience)

No foreigners!

Oh! No foreigners! Come on! Come on! Please stop talking! Not good-looking!

A: You said he didn't sleep with me, but with my brother. How should you treat her?

B come on! Stop turning over the text! I tell you, just kill your brother and daughter-in-law with a knife.

A In that case, it seems that there is no generosity at all.

B: How generous? So what do you do?

I'm so angry ...

Is b angry?

No, I gave my daughter-in-law to my brother!

Why is your family so sad? Daughter-in-law and pour it to my brother?

A I married a daughter-in-law not a bonus sedan chair.

How did B come from? Is she married freely?

A no!

B is a concubine?

A no! My brother gave it to me!

B, alas! (shaking his head) Your house is really bad!

A: Is there anything wrong with that? If you marry a daughter-in-law and the whole family has a daughter-in-law, won't you save money?

Please, don't be ridiculous! There is no such thing!

That's something new: I'll pour her to my father later.

Come on, come on, stop!

A: Isn't this dumping my daughter-in-law with my brother? I earn my own money and spend it myself. I wish I had nothing to chew.

Of course, she belongs to your brother.

A: Isn't this dumping my daughter-in-law with my brother? I earn my own money and spend it myself. I wish I had nothing to chew.

Of course, she belongs to your brother.

In half a year, I saved some money. That day, my mother called me to the front and said, "Isn't this your daughter-in-law's and your brother's?" You have saved some money, and I will marry another one for you. " I said I don't want it. My mother said: "son, there are three kinds of unfilial, and none of them will be the biggest." You are not ignorant. If you are not a three-year-old or two-year-old child, don't you tell your mother that I am anxious with you? "

B: That's right!

I said, "Okay." A few days later, I agreed to one.

Is b a big girl?

No, big girl, who will give it to me? This is the second woman.

B is married late?

A that's right! We will get married on a fixed date.

How much did she spend?

I didn't earn any!

B hey, that's great! It is rare not to make money these days!

A isn't it! Guess how much I spent on this shed.

The second top is at least 200 yuan!

-Where? Only this whole (sticking out one finger) and this zero (sticking out five fingers) are used.

One hundred and fifty dollars?

A no, fifteen.

B what? Spend fifteen dollars on a shed wedding?

A don't believe it?

B I don't believe it! You can't even hire fifteen sedan chairs!

A: You have to say that. I have many relatives and friends. I heard I married a daughter-in-law. This is for sheds, that is for meat, and that is for vegetables. The cook sells tickets, and all the tea is delivered. My fifteen dollars is used to read happy songs, otherwise I can't spend all my fifteen pence.

B what sedan chair?

A sedan chair belongs to my uncle. Do you know a sedan chair shop somewhere?

B Yes, I know!

That is my uncle's.

Oh, is that your uncle's? I just found out today.

A I went to my uncle's house in advance and kowtowed to him first.

B yes.

After kowtowing, my uncle asked me, why are you kowtowing to me? Didn't I say that your second nephew's daughter-in-law gave it to your eldest nephew?

Well, what are you talking about?

When my uncle got angry, he stared and said, "What? You gave your daughter-in-law to your brother What is this called! "

Old man b must be angry! What do you call this?

He added: "What a nuisance! You can't do this! How to pour it to my brother instead of me? "

B Hey, your uncle is even more wicked!

A: I said you don't have to be busy. My brother will give it to you in a few days!

B (shaking his head)

I said, "Isn't it? Now I have another daughter-in-law to kowtow to you. Please give me a sedan chair and find some people. " My uncle said, "All right! An angel has two sedan chairs, nine pairs of gongs and twelve golden lamps. Is that all right? " I said, "It's done."

B be sure to succeed!

When that day comes, guess what?

What about b?

It's ten o'clock in the morning and the sedan chair hasn't come yet!

B what's that about? How anxious!

Who said there was no hurry? In a rage, I ran to my uncle's sedan chair shop. As soon as I entered the door, I saw his old man asleep in the closet. I called twice and didn't wake him up, so I woke him up. He opened his eyes. Guess what?

What did b say?

A asked me what I was doing. I said I'm getting married today. Why don't you get on the sedan chair at this time? Guess what he said?

B must have left!

Come on, he said he forgot!

What about b? Have you forgotten? This is really strange! So what should we do?

I said the same thing: "No, you promised me. Now you have forgotten, so you have to do something. "

B be sure to ask him for advice!

He said that he was very busy today and all the sedan chairs were rented out. Let's get married in the new year. I can't say. Then there was nothing I could do. My uncle said there was a sedan chair without curtains. Take it!

B Do you have a sedan chair curtain?

A use a quilt.

B that's not pretty!

A is not good, but it's warm!

B Don't you have a sedan chair cover?

A plus chicken coop!

B Hey, there's no roof!

Make a steamed bun one by one! This is a sedan chair with a golden roof.

Come on, there's no sedan chair!

A: My uncle's shop has one and a half, plus half a pole!

B it's so short. No underbody!

A: I have a big earthen basin for washing my mother's clothes at home, tied with two ropes and crossed.

B can really handle it. Eight people or four people?

A is neither eight nor four. It's three people.

B. how do three people lift the law? I haven't seen it!

Where have you seen it?

B Yes, I haven't!

A: Two people carry it in front and one in the back.

B not good-looking!

A doesn't look good. There is another name.

What's B's name?

A: It's called "Niutoujiao"!

What an ox head sedan chair. Simply put, it is to save one person's money!

A Why do you want to save a person's money? These three people also don't want money.

Who is B?

One of them is my uncle and those two are our kind boatmen.

B really poor!

A put the sedan chair in front of our house and it lit up.

B still light the bridge!

Soon the kung fu sedan chair will be lost!

B is Wotou!

A is right! Tell a happy song reader to steal it!

B what if there is no roof?

A I was in a hurry, so I took another steamed bread to wear!

B hey! There's never any food left!

A don't look at this, there are allusions in it.

B, where are the allusions? Come on!

A: You see, this is called "a sedan chair with a golden top does not have a silver top, and a lucky girl does not have a horse."

Come on, come on.

At twelve o'clock on the first day, I sent a sedan chair.

B the sedan chair will be issued at noon.

First, A shines a longevity lamp on the sedan chair.

B Take a look at the sedan chair first. Who is the married wife?

A married wife is not an outsider.

Who's B?

A is my brother's wife!

She even married you! What a pity!

A: I calculated that it would be bad if this sedan chair left!

B that's for sure! Although he got married late, he can't be a sedan chair!

Guess what!

b！

A Everyone didn't make any noise, so they got on the sedan chair when they got to their girl's house.

B Hey, he's really nice. I'm afraid you're in a hurry!

A isn't it! When the sedan chair was married, when I was by the door, I heard a crash under it.

What's the matter?

A rope broke and the big basin fell to the ground and broke into pieces. The newly-married daughter-in-law sat on the basin, her pants were cut and her ass was broken.

What if the bottom of sedan chair B is broken? Get on and off the sedan chair in the street!

A get on and off in the street. What is the norm?

B what should we do?

My daughter-in-law stood up in the sedan chair and spoke.

What did she say?

A: "You take yours."

B how is she?

She's following her in. Look up there-

B it was carried by three people.

One, look down again-

Eight legs!

A When you get married, you should worship heaven and earth first, and when I take off my hijab, look!

B, needless to say, how beautiful it is!

A Needless to say, how bad it is!

How bad is it?

Look at those temples!

The second knife cuts evenly!

A all white! A face full of wrinkles, white hair and toothless mouth. A lot of small pears were planted, and two bugs hung in two noses and eyes, and wheat could grow around the soil in both ears and eyes!

B: Good!

As soon as I saw it, I quickly bowed and said, "Hello, my mother!" " "

How can you call your mother?

What's a's name? She is older than my mother!

You can't scream if you are good! What did she say?

She sat on the edge of the kang and gasped, "Don't play with bones! When I get through this! " (these two sentences must be like the tone of a toothless old lady. )

B it's so short!

I said, "How old are you, old lady?" She said, "I'm thirty-six!"

Will b have white hair and no teeth at the age of 36? I feel very troublesome!

A I said, "You are only thirty-six?" She said, "Yes, thirty-six!"

B: Good! Seventy-two

A I said, "Why did you remarry at your age?" She said, "You hate me! Never mind, I'll change it for you when I go back. " I said, "Who? She said, "My sister." I said, "You are all seventy-two, and your sister doesn't need to add more. It must be a slam! "

That's impossible!

A I definitely won't approve! She said it again.

What did she say?

A: She said, "Why do you want to marry a wife?" I said, "Have a baby."

B is for children!

A She said, "It doesn't matter, your child does!"

Can B still raise a son at the age of seventy-two?

That's what I said. "You can raise a son at the age of seventy-two? Is this not a joke? "

B: That's right!

She said it again!

What did she say?

A: She said, "I can't raise it now, but I have two eldest sons, both of whom can earn money. I will definitely come to recognize my relatives tomorrow! " Let's go to bed first! "

B don't sleep!

A what?

Otsuichi had a hard night! You have to ask the matchmaker how she did it. They call it cheating.

What is cheating? I have two sons who can earn money and bring them to support me.

B there is no such thing! You think if she had two sons to support her, she wouldn't marry. They call it circle work, which is "tiger" in Beijing dialect. This is a soft tiger. It devours you like a mountain, telling you to say it from your mouth: Come on! Please go! I can't afford to support you! There is also a hard tiger, don't be fooled by her!

That's what I said. "You call this a soft tiger. You are blind! It hit me! You don't ask me what I do? Let's do it, a thief is better than a dog! "

B: That's right!

A "Speaking of fighting tigers, we are a family, and I have done this!" "

B don't say you did it!

A is right! When I was young, I often went out to shoot tigers with my mother!

B that can't be said!

She said, "What? Fighting tigers? Whoever says I'm a tiger killer is my son! Let's talk about it tomorrow, it's getting late. "

B Is it here or asleep?

A is right! The next morning, neither of us got up. Guess what?

b！

My two sons are here.

B is it really here?

A is right!

What a good year! Her mother married someone and should have gone away. It's a shame that he should recognize his relatives!

They stood in the yard and shouted, "Mom! Where are you? " We live in a complicated environment. His mother said, "This house! Didn't you see the word happy! "

Look at this happy word!

Two sons came in. The eldest son took a steamed stuffed bun and the second son took four boxes of snacks. As soon as he entered the door, he greeted his mother and said, "Mom! You are overjoyed! "

Congratulations to his mother! What a pity!

A mother said, "don't you like it!" "

Look at this happiness!

This old bangzi is shameless! The eldest son said, "Mom! Please meet us, who is my father! "

His mother said, "That's right! It's your father who wears a gray cloth, cotton robe and green mandarin jacket (the clothes here are not limited to what to wear and what to say)! " The eldest son smiled and said, "It's him! You don't have to be introduced. We can't always be each other's fathers. " While speaking, he called his younger brother over: "kowtow to my father." His two brothers knocked their heads during the conversation.

B really don't know what shame is!

A I quickly stood up and said, "You're welcome, two brothers, sit down and talk!" " "

Why do you call them brothers?

A: In terms of age, they are not much younger than me. If they are not brothers, what are their names?

B that's not age!

A what!

B I asked you, did his mother marry you?

A married me!

B since his mother married you, they are fucking children, and they have to be your children.

What should A say?

B You should pat the old tune and say, "Come on, get up! No need to kowtow. It's not like your mother married you. They are your children. They have to listen to everything you say. "

B: That's right!

But I'm afraid they will hit me!

B dare not, they hit you and his mother!

My daughter-in-law said the same thing: "If they don't listen, you hit them. Pat them on the head and send them to disobey orders. It's really urgent. If you want to say anything else, just say you have my words. "

B: That's right! Have a fucking talk!

A I really dare not!

It doesn't matter!

Try it first. I said, "I'm telling you (A looks at B, if on the ground, B goes forward and A follows), isn't your mother married to me? You two know each other, and I can't keep you. "

B: Yes!

A "But then again, you two should work hard and don't be disobedient!"

B: Yes!

A "If you don't listen, I can tell you (B hands akimbo, eyes looking at armor). If you don't do well or don't listen, I will pat your head and send you to disobey (C is dark at this time)! Is your brother not here (A looks at C)? You must obey, or you will all be sent down (B and C stare)! I also tell you, you don't have to stare, if there is your mother (A stood by and said nothing after this paragraph)!

I said your mother married him?

B nonsense! Your mother just married him!

C: Your mother didn't marry him. Why did he tell you directly?

B you can say! I don't understand, and you!

C, damn it Let's hit him!

B don't be busy yet!

C, don't be busy yet The old lady married him all!

Wait a minute. Ask him first. Has he seen these two sons?

All right, C, ask him!

B (B goes to A) I said that my mother is ... (shaking her head) How difficult it is to exit, it really doesn't matter!

I will ask him!

B ok, you go!

C (C walks up to A) I said that my mother is ... (shakes her head and walks back) I really can't ask this!

B I'd better go. (walks up to A) I said you've been talking for a long time. Have you met these two sons?

Why didn't A see it? He talked with my eldest son for a long time (b walks back)!

C, this must be you! Hit him!

B, don't be busy Don't be busy.

C why aren't you busy?

I'm not the only one talking to him. When I find out what his two sons are wearing and what they look like!

C: ok, you ask! If he says that his eldest son is in his thirties (according to the size of B), his second son is in his twenties (according to the size of C), his eldest son wears a Qinglong cotton robe (according to what B wears) and his second son wears a gray cotton robe (according to what C wears), we will both hit him!

Ok, let's do it. (B walks up to A) I said, how old are your two sons? What does it look like? What are you wearing?

A My eldest son is wearing a big cotton gown made of Qinglong cloth, cotton trousers made of green woven tweed, wool socks and cotton shoes made of wool rope (here he is not necessarily in his thirties, with a yellow face, a round face and heavy eyebrows (just say what he looks like).

What about the second son?

A My second son is in his twenties, with a white face and good looks. He is wearing a big cotton robe made of gray cloth, socks made by white cloth, and a green wool nest (there is no limit here, depending on how big C is, it can't be inconsistent with what C said before).

C must be! You have to hit him!

B don't be busy!

Why isn't C busy again? You heard him say that his age, looks and clothes are all right! You have to hit him.

There are many people in their thirties and twenties. Just the two of us?

There are many c's!

B There are many people with white faces in the world, and there are also many people who wear gray cloth and cotton gowns. Are you alone?

C, right, right!

Wait a minute. I asked him what his two sons do. If he wants to say that he is talking about cross talk (his business can also be changed here), that's right. Let's hit him again. what do you think?

C ok! Do it! You ask!

Did you ask what your two sons do?

A Then how can I not ask?

Did you ask?

Answer my question! I said, what do you two do every day? I tell you, you unemployed people, I can't have your!

What did they say?

A: yes. "Dad, you don't have to ask. We have legitimate business. We dare not say more. We two brothers give you a dollar a day to live! "

What did they say?

A: yes. "Dad, you don't have to ask. We have legitimate business. We dare not say more. We two brothers give you a dollar a day to live! "

B didn't ask you. I asked you what they do. Come on!

A you don't have to worry! They said that the two of them were talking cross talk (you can also change careers here, but you must be consistent with the former).

C, is this right? Fight!

B hit, hit!

(b and c go to a to have a look around)

What did I say? We can't be together. Don't!

B and c can't be together Hit you!

I can tell you that if you have your mother, if you are so shameless, I must send you down!