A friend often says, "I told TA all my privacy, but TA broke up with me. But sometimes, when I tell a lie, TA is very happy. "
I heard something not long ago, which is also very interesting.
A girl married a young man. On the night of the bridal chamber, the girl felt that she was married to him, and then they lived alone. The other party should know everything about herself, so she confessed her love history.
As a result, the young man was completely angry and filed for divorce that night.
What did the girl say to the young man that made him so angry?
It turned out that the girl had been in love twice before she got married. The first love broke up before the girl helped Africa, because the boy didn't approve of her going to Africa for medical assistance.
After arriving in Africa, the girl met the local black doctor at work, and they talked for two years. Later, because the girl's parents refused to let her marry a black man, this relationship ended with the girl's return to China.
There are several pre-marital love histories that are not new today. Presumably, the young man divorced because he couldn't accept that his wife had been in love with a black man.
Some people say that this girl is also a simpleton. You just have to admit your love. Why do you have to make it clear who you loved?
However, Tian Gefei believes that this kind of thing must be confessed. In this era, who has no privacy? If it is exposed passively in the future, it will be even more troublesome. It's just that the girl didn't choose the right time to confess. If you confess before marriage, give the young man time to think and give him a buffer, it won't be as complicated as it is now.
Should husband and wife be completely honest? He Tian Gefei believes that honesty sometimes requires a little white lies.
In fact, think about how you get along with your parents. Your parents are familiar with your every move, and you can see your emotions from it, but you will also have some secrets that you can't tell your parents, let alone your husband and wife.
The key issue is what can be honest and what can be hidden between husband and wife, and everything should be measured.
In Tian Gefei's view, if you choose a person, you must choose to hand over your heart. But if you don't feel at ease, you'd better hide it until you feel that you love him very much and the other person loves you very much. Both sides deserve trust and understanding. The other side won't betray you. You can be honest with yourself. The frank content includes your love history, financial situation, family situation, physical health, family history and other major issues.
The secret allowed to be hidden in the heart must be the content that will not destroy the relationship between love and marriage, or the most personal feeling.
For example, in order to make each other happy, secretly arrange travel plans; Don't tell each other that the underwear you bought didn't only cost 5 yuan, but 15 yuan; Needless to say, I ate more than 30 yuan for lunch at work today.
Those most personal feelings, if the other person is different from yourself, you can choose to experience it yourself and say it. Maybe the other party doesn't understand or even have ambiguity, and it will not pay off.
Therefore, whether you are completely honest with your partner depends on something, what kind of person the other person is and the degree of love.
If you choose to hide honest things, once exposed, good things will turn into bad things.
Yesterday, a netizen named Xiao Qi sent a private letter saying that he originally got married on May 1 this year, but on the wedding day, he cancelled the wedding because of a good friend's words. Until now, my heart is still bitter.
Xiaoqi has a good girlfriend. Their relationship began in primary school and went through middle school and university. After graduation, they want to join the same company. Although they didn't do this, they stayed in the same city and rented the same apartment.
The estrangement between the two began with falling in love with the same man.
Speaking of it, Xiao Qi's boyfriend is a colleague of his best friend, and he has a crush on him. At first, it was my best friend who wanted Xiaoqi to consult her staff and invited Xiaoqi to have dinner with her colleagues. Unexpectedly, her colleague fell in love with Xiaoqi.
At first, Xiao Qi has been suppressing his feelings for his best friend and colleagues.
Can love be suppressed by pressure like the tide? Xiaoqi also knows that his best friend never gives up. As always, the boys showed their love to Xiaoqi and explicitly rejected the feelings of Xiaoqi's girlfriends.
During that time, Xiao Qi and his best friend were in pain and stopped talking. The laughter and laughter of the past in the rental house disappeared, and there was a dead silence.
Later, my girlfriend got over it and chose to let go. She said to Xiao Qi, "I know he loves you, but I'm just unwilling. Now I have decided to quit. You can love boldly, regardless of my feelings. We are still good sisters! "
Speaking of which, my best friend moved out of the apartment and rented another house on the grounds that she is not a light bulb. In their spare time, they also meet and chat, but the topic never involves Xiao Qi's boyfriend.
A year later, Xiao Qi and her boyfriend are getting married. My parents met, had dinner and agreed on the details of the wedding.
When leaving, the future mother-in-law took Xiao Qi's hand and said, "Son, do you know everything about soldiers?" ? I hope you can tolerate and understand each other in your life. If you can't stand it, just give me the question and you can live a good life. "
Xiaoqi is immersed in longing for the wedding, and she has little knowledge of her mother-in-law's words. Next, she was busy preparing for the wedding, but Xiao Qi had forgotten what her mother-in-law had said.
The wedding day has finally arrived. Xiaoqi got up early and invited a professional makeup artist to make up. My girl friends also came from other places to help Xiaoqi. The first time he saw Xiao Qi, he asked, "Are you ready to clean up his ex-wife with Yang Bing?"
Xiao Qi was shocked, and blood rushed to his brain, only feeling dizzy and unable to think.
The girlfriend looked at the dull Xiao Qi and was surprised: "He didn't tell you such a big thing?"
Xiao Qi knows that Yang Bing is divorced, so what is it to take care of his ex-wife together?
After breathing normally, Xiao Qi grabbed the phone and called her boyfriend. After listening to her hysterical venting, her boyfriend was silent for a long time and finally said to her, "I love you." Don't doubt my feelings. But I'll tell you about it after the wedding, okay? "
So this thing is true! Xiao Qi was so angry that he shouted on the phone, "I don't trust you anymore. The wedding is cancelled! "
Xiaoqi kicked his best friend out of the house, shut himself in his room and cried.
My best friend is listening to Xiaoqi's crying outside the door. She feels very sad. She doesn't know why she didn't tell Xiaoqi the first time after learning about it, because she was jealous. Or is there something else?
Yang Bing also regretted not listening to her mother and telling Xiao Qi the truth in advance.
He knew that Xiao Qi was a kind girl, and even if he told her, she would understand, so he chose to confess after the wedding, but he didn't expect things to come to this.
Yang Bing and his ex-wife are childhood friends, and Yang Bing's mother and his ex-wife's parents are colleagues. On a business trip, my ex-wife's father was killed because a stone fell and hit the car body. My ex-wife's mother couldn't afford to get sick when she heard the news.
Yang Bing's mother blamed herself very much, because she was carsick, and her ex-wife's father changed seats with her, which made her suffer a lot.
Since then, Yang Bing's parents have taken good care of his ex-wife, mother and daughter, and everything in the family, big and small, is the Binyang family running before and after. The ex-wife spent more time in Binyang's house than her own parents.
Sooner or later, they have feelings, get married, and life is very sweet.
But it didn't last long. His ex-wife suffers from cervical muscular dystrophy. The disease developed rapidly. In just three years, I couldn't move from the chest down.
The ex-wife didn't want to delay Yang Bing and filed for divorce. After being forced to die, Yang Bing gave in and just assumed the responsibility of taking care of his ex-wife. Yang Bing never gave up. Every month, he goes back to his mother-in-law's house to visit his ex-wife and talk to her.
After listening to Xiao Qi's story, Hotan Gefei also felt that Yang Bing's behavior was understandable, from which we can see that Yang Bing's character is very good. But choosing to hide it before the wedding is really hard to accept.
Xiaoqi said that in fact, she had already forgiven her boyfriend, and she and her mother-in-law secretly went to see Yang Bing's ex-wife. But this spirit has not disappeared in my heart. I don't understand why Yang Bing didn't tell himself frankly.
Look, in fact, they are all very good people, doing very good things, because they didn't say everything at the first time, which caused the lack of trust between the two sides.
However, Hotan Gefei is optimistic about the final outcome of Xiaoqi and Yang Bing. However, Yang Bing should also learn from his mistakes. On the premise of trusting each other's character and loving each other deeply, the sooner you confess something, the better.
All good things and bad things should be told to your lover from your own mouth. Don't let these news go around and let your lover know. This will make your lover feel that you don't trust TA and don't put it in the most important position.
Once there is a crisis of confidence, there will be psychological shadows; To rebuild trust, we must treat each other with sincerity and resolve the crisis with practical actions. The deceived party should always strengthen self-suggestion to strengthen the trust in their partners.
Is it troublesome? Therefore, it is better to be honest with your lover from the beginning, especially those important things, so that you can become a first-hand source of information; And those petty secrets don't matter as long as they don't destroy the relationship between the two.