Early marriage reflected in ancient myths
The development of human marriage is a process from low to high. Knowing this development process, we can understand some special phenomena in ancient marriage. For example, the ancients did not think there was anything wrong with the marriage between cousins.
In ancient legends of China, Fuxi and Nu Wa are brothers and sisters, and they are the ancestors of human beings. The legend of brother and sister marriage is also a portrayal of marriage in primitive times.
Lu Chunqiu: "In the past, there was no gentleman, but his people lived in groups. Anemarrhena knows that there is no father, no relatives, no brothers, no difference between husband and wife, and there is no way up and down. "
This passage is a description of the group marriage relationship in the early primitive times. In a word, the relationship between the sexes at that time was very complicated.
In the most primitive times, the process of human reproduction is also very primitive. With the evolution of human thinking ability, this messy relationship is gradually eliminated. The original unfixed primitive population gradually developed into a relatively fixed blood group, and between these groups, the intermarriage relationship within the group was formed. After a long period of development, people began to exclude intermarriage of different generations and only intermarry among peers.
The legend of brother and sister getting married exists not only in the history of Han nationality, but also in the prehistoric flood legend of ethnic minorities.
In the legend of Nu nationality in Yunnan, a big flood in ancient times flooded all the houses and fertile fields, and a brother and sister hid in a gourd and lived with the flood. Later, they found that everyone was drowned and crows were eating the same kind of flesh and blood everywhere. The crow said to the two men, "All human beings are dead. Only when you get married can you reproduce. " But this is against ethics. Brother and sister didn't listen to the crow, but walked separately. I really can't find a spouse in the end. In the case of no choice, two people got married, gave birth to nine men and nine women, and slowly gave birth to human beings.
It is a great progress in the history of marriage that human beings have developed from chaotic reproductive relationship to fixed consanguineous group marriage relationship. At this time, intermarriage is no longer a simple natural reproduction, but a social function that can stabilize the relationship between group members through marriage.
With the understanding of the relationship among human body, nature and procreation, consanguineous group marriage has gradually developed into extraethnic marriage, which is a development process from low to high.
The custom of marriage
Marriage snatching custom
In our ancient books in China, "marriage" was originally called "faint marriage" or "faint cause". This is because marriage is closely related to dusk.
Marriage: "What is a married person?" Salute when you are unconscious, so it is called marriage. "
Why do you salute at night when you get married? This is because there is a custom of robbing marriage in ancient times.
Yijingtun records: "Riding like a horse immediately after riding, crying like blood" and "bandits marry bandits."
It is said that the robber robbed the woman as his bride. Of course, robbers naturally dare not act in broad daylight, but only when it is dark. With the stability of society and the emergence of buying and selling marriage, the barbaric form of robbing marriage is gradually marginalized. However, the custom of robbing marriage began in ancient times and remained in some places until the Qing Dynasty.
mercenary marriage
In modern society, the custom of bride price is a headache for many male compatriots. People often say, "Are you going to marry or sell your daughter?" In fact, the custom of buying and selling marriage has a long history and is called "the ceremony of getting married". Employment in the initial marriage itself means buying and selling.
"Huai Nan Zi Shi Lu": "Therefore, it is common to marry."
Etiquette and Wedding: "When you take the levy, you can marry a couple, such as Naji Li."
How to prove that the collection and marriage mentioned in ancient books are business?
In ancient times, "Fei" was used to describe women, and the word "Fei" also took the meaning of "silk". The ancients used the word "Tang" to describe their wives. The interpretation of the word "Tang" in Shuowen is "What is the gold coin hidden in". What the ancients called "collecting money" was also called "collecting money" in the past. From these textual research, it can be concluded that after the custom of robbing marriage, buying and selling marriage does exist.
Therefore, it is not easy to marry a wife from ancient times to the present. Modern young men should not complain about their mother-in-law, but should blame our ancestors for leaving us these customs.
When did the matchmaker begin to exist?
Being able to fall in love freely, I think the ancients envy us most now. The marriage of ancient people will be based on the words of "parents' orders", and the matchmaker is the most important role in ancient marriage. The so-called "virgins have no media, old people don't marry, show media, and don't sell. "That is to say, if you don't use a matchmaker, marriage will be laughed at. So the ancients, rich or poor, asked the matchmaker to marry the matchmaker.
When did the matchmaker begin to exist? It is speculated that a matchmaker was produced within two weeks.
The matchmaker was originally a wizard. "Wizard" is a combination of male and female wizards. Women are called witches and men are called wizards. In the pre-Qin period, wizards had a high social status, so their matchmaking represented people's attention to marriage. Later, witchcraft weakened, and ordinary people could deserve it.
Matchmakers are also divided into "official media" and "private media".
In the Spring and Autumn Period, if the Emperor wanted to marry the daughter of a vassal, he had to find a minister with the same surname to match the media. Governors want to marry girls, but also to find ministers to match. This is the formation of official media. Most private media are made by women, so we always talk about matchmakers, and we have never heard people call them matchmakers.
In fact, although the appearance of the matchmaker brought a lot of convenience to the marriage and love of the ancients, it added more etiquette rules, which directly restricted the possibility of free love between young men and women. Otherwise, how could the ancients leave us so many sad love stories?
Unmarried namesake
The ancients had a rule that they were not allowed to marry with the same surname, and this marriage custom also began in the Zhou Dynasty.
"Shu Wei Gao Zuji": "Xia Yin doesn't think of marriage with the same surname, and Zhou system doesn't marry with the same surname."
As mentioned above, there has been a long period of "consanguineous group marriage" in human history. Xia and Yin dynasties are the times when matriarchal society is in transition to paternal society. There is no uniform regulation on whether children should take their mother's surname or their father's surname, so it is not necessary to keep unmarried surnames.
In the Zhou dynasty, it was completely transformed into a patriarchal society. With the development and progress of society, people have realized that consanguineous marriage will lead to infertility or deformity of children. Therefore, the Zhou Dynasty stipulated that "the same surname is not allowed to marry".
This physiological explanation is recorded in many ancient books in the Spring and Autumn Period.
Sasuke biography: "Men and women share the same surname, but their lives are not unusual."
"Mandarin Today": "If you don't marry with the same surname, you may be infertile."
In order to put an end to marriage with the same surname, the Tang Dynasty stipulated in the Tang Law that:
Those married with the same surname were each sentenced to two years' imprisonment, which was considered rape.
In fact, today, this law in the Tang Dynasty is too strict and pedantic. The ancestors of the Zhou Dynasty belonged to clans and tribes related by blood, and all the people with the same surname were relatives. But later, it has become a form of development based on the region, and the same surname does not mean that they are related by blood. So there is no need to emphasize that the same surname is not married.
Although the ancients understood that the adoption of immediate relatives would lead to many adverse consequences, they did not shy away from the marriage of collateral relatives. This is also because they don't understand the origin of genes.
Freedom of marriage in ancient times
Can you be single in ancient times?
The ancients said: "There are three kinds of unfilial, and the last one is the biggest." Accordingly, in ancient ethics, no one was allowed to be single voluntarily unless it was really difficult to get married.
In fact, celibacy existed in the pre-Qin period. As I said before, the matchmaker started from the wizard, and the bachelor also started from the wizard. In the age of witchcraft, wizards don't have to worry about food and clothing or do anything. They are the connectors of heaven and earth and the messengers of God. It is very inappropriate for ordinary people to use marriage and love on them. Because of the particularity of this profession, they became the earliest celibate.
There are also monks after the rise of Buddhism and Taoist priests of Quanzhen Sect, who can't get married because of their careers. In addition to professional restrictions, some people break through the ethical code and choose not to get married all their lives. There was a gifted scholar named Lin Bu in the Song Dynasty. He has read a lot of poetry books since he was a child, and he is very proficient in history and classics. But he is not good at his career and is willing to get married and have children. After living in seclusion in the mountains, he claimed to be "Mei's wife and crane as his son" and was called "Mei's wife and crane".
It stands to reason that in that era when Confucianism was prevalent, such weirdness should be called "great transgression", but people did not belittle him but praised him, mainly because his achievements in literature were too high. Therefore, no matter whether you want to be single, you should have a detached spirit and resist the pressure of the world.
Can you divorce in ancient times?
We know from some film and television dramas that in ancient times, apart from divorcing your wife, you could also choose to separate. As the name implies, harmony is the most important. If both parties think that they can't live any longer, they can discuss divorce. However, separation was only popular in the Tang and Song Dynasties. Women have the lowest status in Yuan, Ming and Qing Dynasties, and women are not allowed to remarry. Widows must be chaste. The woman offered to leave without thinking, and only divorced her wife. So, once divorced, it means that she will be alone.
In addition to the enfeoffment in the Tang and Song Dynasties, there were also "anti-horse" ceremonies in the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period.
Spring and Autumn Five Years: "Five years of winter, Qi anti-horse."
Anti-horse is actually related to divorce, which is a ritual in ancient marriage.
Divorce at this time is called divorce, but it is also divorce. If the husband thinks that his wife has violated the seven laws. For example, no queen, jealousy, talking, etc. , you can apply for divorce. These laws are a kind of oppression imposed on women by the patriarchal society. But what is better than Yuan, Ming and Qing Dynasties is that women can still remarry at this time. Cases of remarriage abound in the Han Dynasty. When men and women get married, they pay more attention to the wishes of both parties, which is much more free than in the Yuan, Ming and Qing Dynasties.
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Generally speaking, the restrictions imposed by the development of ancient marriage are the manifestations of the further socialization of marriage life. Marriage taboo began with sexual taboo in primitive society until the restrictions on marriage became more and more perfect in Ming and Qing Dynasties. For example, parents' consent is required, and the same clan does not marry, the first clan does not marry, and the second clan does not marry.
However, because of the strict restrictions, marriage is not free, resulting in a large number of love tragedies. Since entering the patriarchal society, the oppression of women's status has also led to women being in a weak position in marriage. After entering the new China, equality between men and women, freedom of marriage and the dross of the old society have also been abandoned.