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What is the most fundamental family contradiction in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law after 1980s?
The post-80s group has become the main force in the current wedding field. However, as far as the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law after marriage is concerned, do the daughter-in-law after 80 get along well with the mother-in-law after 60? Marriage and family are not the loveliness of the young couple, but the harmonious atmosphere reached by both families. So what is the main contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law after 1980s? The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law after 1980s is mainly manifested in the following aspects: First, the difference of money concept. Mother-in-law is generally frugal and naturally does not like the extravagance and waste of her daughter-in-law; Daughter-in-law, on the other hand, has no worries about food and clothing since she was a child, and she can't understand the frugality concept that her mother-in-law insists on. Second, the opposition of family values. Mothers-in-law tend to focus on their husbands and sons, while daughters-in-law are mostly self-conscious. Third, the differences in children's education methods. Daughters-in-law believe that children should learn all kinds of skills from an early age, and mothers-in-law often love them more than discipline. Fourth, the influence of employment concept. Mother-in-law is used to the stability and mediocrity in her career, while daughter-in-law has to catch up all the way because of pressure and competition, and even often changes jobs. Finally, there are also different ways to express feelings. The daughter-in-law dares to show her love in public, which makes her mother-in-law quite unhappy. The fundamental reason for the disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most complicated interpersonal relationship in the contemporary social transformation period. Formally, it belongs to a branch of kinship, including vertical blood relationship (mother-in-law and son) and horizontal husband-wife relationship (daughter-in-law and husband). The traditional views of academic circles on this issue are as follows: first, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a seesaw of two women's feelings for their husbands and sons, and it is a struggle between affection and love. From the perspective of parenting, a mother is reluctant to give her son to another woman. It is normal for vertical power to be handed over to horizontal power, and there is a kind of loss and unwillingness. Second, after a son marries a daughter-in-law, he will not be completely independent mentally and economically. Contradictions mainly come from trivial matters of life. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law don't like each other, and the more they want to intervene, the more rigid their relationship becomes. Third, economic issues. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law perform their respective duties, involving their own interests, and contradictions are inevitable. For example, some daughters-in-law want to eat more old ones, and if her mother-in-law sees that all her hard-earned money has been given to her daughter-in-law, she can't stand it. My view on this issue is that from an economic point of view, marriage can be regarded as a limited liability company, and the daughter-in-law and husband are investors in this company. The age, economic conditions and energy of both parties are the costs that must be paid for marriage, and also the investment in the company. The company's "output" includes physiological needs, sense of stability, sense of security, social evaluation and respect, and so on. Get maximum output with minimum input. The woman always wants the man to put his assets into the company as much as possible. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, and the most fundamental reason lies in the daughter-in-law. After all, the harsh mother-in-law is a minority, and the husband must take into account the requirements of both sides and is the biggest victim. The daughter-in-law is the biggest beneficiary. Daughter-in-law should establish a lose-lose view and consider the problem from the perspective of marital happiness. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has a great influence on the relationship between husband and wife. In the past two years, I have taken over many divorce cases, and rarely encounter divorce simply because "the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good." In my impression, when talking about the reasons for divorce, a man said directly that his wife was not liked by his mother and family, so whenever their relationship had problems, his family encouraged us to break up. Numerous facts have proved that the disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will indeed lead to the disharmony between husband and wife, and even the breakdown of feelings, leading to divorce. In other words, the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will definitely affect the feelings of husband and wife, and this influence is subtle and a slow erosion. If you want to get along well with your mother-in-law, first understand the ten commandments before marriage. How can I get along well with my mother-in-law Grandma relies on coaxing.