First act

Location: Zhu Yingtai's home. Three chairs and a table.

Characters: Yingtai mother (hereinafter referred to as Yingtai mother), Yingtai father (hereinafter referred to as Yingtai father), Ma Gongzi, housekeeper and several attendants.

(Yingtai's father is furious, Yingtai's mother catches up)

Mu Ying: Husband, husband ~ (La Fu Ying)

Fu Ying (turning angrily): It's no use saying anything. The marriage between Yingtai and Taiwan must not be so hasty!

Mu Ying: But, honey, Ma Gongzi is serious. Minmei is getting married ... (interrupted by Fu Ying)

British father: how many times have I told you that it is a new era of reform and opening up, and children's marriages can no longer be arranged by their parents ... (interrupted by outside voices)

Off-site voice: the bride price of Ma Gongzi has arrived ~

(A butler-like man rushes in with a gift list in his hand.)

Butler: My son sent a little man to give these gifts to my parents, which is not a tribute. Please accept it. (Opening the ceremony list, the waiter comes on stage with a gift in his hand) A bottle of Maotai ~ a cloud of smoke ~ a set of diamond jewelry ~ a bucket of KFC takeout ~ a home theater ~ a Cadillac on the way ~ a factory maintenance ~ an Eiffel Tower in Paris, France. ...

No, no, no, it's a package tour of the Eiffel Tower in Paris ~ and West Lake Longjing, Beijing Roast Duck, 18th Street, Twist, Shaanxi Paomo, Northeast cauldron, Wang Zhi and stinky tofu have all been sent to the kitchen ~ ~ ~

(Mother Ying kneels, hands respectfully accept the gift list, and the housekeeper leaves)

Mu Ying: Honey, look. Ma Gongzi sent so many gifts, Yingtai is his. ...

English: What do you know as a woman? Look at Ma Gongzi's virtue, why is it like a toilet ... (Ma Gongzi has appeared, standing behind EF)

Ma Gongzi (pulls out his handkerchief to wipe his sweat): Thank you for not saying that I look like Feng Gong.

Ying-fu (turning around): You ~

Ma Gongzi (suddenly opening the folding fan): Yes, it's a shame to spend the moon in the dark. A talented person looks like a fairy, and the wind is graceful, and a pear blossoms overwhelm Haitang. People have given me the nickname-Ma Decai, the embodiment of beauty and wisdom, hero and chivalry. Take out a handful of one-cent notes and scatter them in the air to make it look like a fairy.

Mu Ying (rushing to meet him): Ouch ~ Ma Gongzi, please sit down quickly ~ (facing the court) Like a flower, go and make tea for Ma Gongzi ~ (bending down to collect money)

Ma Gongzi (sitting down slowly): Uncle and aunt, I don't know about my marriage with Yingtai. ...

English mother: ouch ~ of course ~ (interrupted by English father)

English father: No way! (stands up angrily and points to Ma Gongzi) Do you know what Marxism-Leninism is?

Ma Gongzi: I don't know. ...

British father: Do you know what reform and opening up is?

Ma Gongzi: I don't know. ...

British father: Do you know what the Nasdaq index is?

Ma Gongzi: I don't know. ...

English father: Do you know who is Leslie Cheung, who is Maggie Cheung, who is Ronaldo, who is Yao Ming, who is Tom Cruise and who is Britney Branny? (turns to Mu Ying) Look at you. How can I rest assured that such an idiot who knows nothing told me to marry Yingtai?

Ma Gongzi: Uncle, I ...

Fu Ying (turning to Ma Gongzi): What are you? You have nothing but money!

Ma Gongzi: My uncle really knows my little husband like the back of his hand. My little husband just brought a gift of 3 million this time. ...

English father: Bah! Do you think money can buy everything? I tell you, true love is priceless! Do you think 3 million is ok ... (gradually reacting to the taste) 3 million ... I agree, and I really agree with 10 thousand (taking out a pen to sign). Hey, Ma Gongzi, is that 3 million cash or check? ...

Ma Gongzi: 300 yuan doesn't need a check.

Yingfu: Yes, 300 yuan. What kind of check do you need ... (The pen stops and looks at Ma Gongzi in surprise) 300 yuan? Isn't it 3 million?

Ma Gongzi: 3 million is the total cost of this wedding. Today, I will give you a gift from 300 yuan ... Uncle, if you don't want enough money, we can discuss it again ... Besides, an important issue like marriage should not be measured by money. But my husband heard that my uncle likes traveling, so he bought a holiday villa in Hawaii the other day. ...

English father: Are you serious?

Ma Gongzi (pulls out a bunch of keys): This is the key to the holiday villa. I have already bought the ticket, as long as my uncle promises my marriage with Yingtai. ...

Off-site voice: the old lady is not good! Miss is missing!

English Dad: Yingtai! I snatched the key from Ma Gongzi when I ran off the stage.

Mu Ying: My Yingtai! (Running off the stage)

(The lights are dim and the first act is over)

2 funny script-Liang Zhu

Act ii

Location: the wild. Characters: Liang Shanbo, Zhu Yingtai.

Voice-over: Zhu Yingtai and Liang Shanbo went to a private school, chatting, drinking and boxing together ... Oh, the narration was wrong, they chatted together and sang loudly. However, the so-called skynet is long and slow, but it does not leak. Zhu Yingtai's parents and Ma Gongzi finally caught Zhu Yingtai ... On this day, Zhu Yingtai and Liang Shanbo said goodbye in the wild. Liang Shanbo: Brother Zhu, I'll send you a thousand miles. Farewell. Let's say goodbye ... (Bowing)

Zhu Yingtai: Brother Liang, don't you have anything to say to me at this moment?

Liang Shanbo: I didn't. ...

Zhu Yingtai (singing sadly): Later, I finally learned how to love, but unfortunately you have already disappeared into the sea of people; Later, I finally understood in tears that some people, once missed, are gone ...

(Liang Shanbo tries to persuade Zhu Yingtai, but Yingtai throws him off. )

Liang Shanbo: Yingtai, don't be sad. Look, there are words written on the wings of this butterfly.

Zhu Yingtai: You lied to me. (Still don't look back)

Liang Shanbo: Let me read it to you: I am a bird. If I love you, I can abandon my life. I'm not afraid of English and Japanese at all. I applaud on stage and off stage.

Zhu Yingtai: I ... love ... English ... Taiwan Province ... (slowly turns to look at Liang Shanbo)

Liang Shanbo: You asked me how much I love you ... The moon represents my heart (the author forgot the middle word * #% ...)

Zhu Yingtai (pleasantly surprised): Brother Liang, are you serious?

Liang Shanbo (kneeling down): There was a sincere love before me, and I didn't cherish it. When I lost it, I regretted it The most painful thing in the world is this. If God can give me another chance, I will say to you: I love you! If I have to add a time limit to these three words, I hope it is-ten thousand years! (It must be said in dialect here, ...)

Zhu Yingtai: Brother Liang, please stop talking.

Act iii

Venue: In front of Liang Shanbo's tomb

Characters: Zhu Yingtai, Liang Shanbo (ghost), English mother, English father, etc.

Voice-over: Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai have been bedridden since they broke up. Finally, they drove the crane to the west. On this day, Zhu Yingtai came to the grave of Liang Shanbo ...)

Zhu Yingtai: (jumping to another grave and crying) Liang Shanbo, life is so hard, how can you have the heart to leave me ~ Brother Liang ~

Voice-over: At this moment, thunder suddenly sounded in the sky, and a flash of lightning pierced Liang Shanbo's grave.

(Liang Shanbo stands up)

Zhu Yingtai: Ah ~ Brother Liang ~

Liang Shanbo: Yingtai ~ (two people hug each other)

Everyone: Congratulations, everything will be fine. All shall be well, jack shall have Jill ~

Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai: Be happy together. Come on, let's eat happy candy. ...

Everyone: I wonder what your future plans are?

Liang Shanbo: Hmm ... (interrupted by Zhu Yingtai)

Zhu Yingtai: We've thought about it!

(Liang Zhu begins to guess the fist-"Two little bees are flying in the flowers, flying" ...) Voiceover: At first, Liang Shanbo wanted to be a butterfly, but Zhu Yingtai had to be a bee. Alas, this is all the fault of feminism. ...

(Music, curtain call, drama ending)

References:

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