As we all know, one person's efforts can't support two people's homes. A harmonious and beautiful family atmosphere must be created by two people working together.

I once heard a friend complain that after getting married, she felt that her husband was not considerate at all and wanted a divorce, but she dared not mention it for various practical reasons, although many small things in life had made their love disappear.

She said that one of her biggest disappointments was that when she was pregnant, she felt uncomfortable and couldn't sleep all night, but her husband slept next to her and ignored her completely.

Finally, once, she couldn't help complaining: "The child is mine alone, right?" Can't you care about me? "

Without looking up, the husband stared intently at the screen of the mobile phone: "I care about you, can things get better?" After listening to this, she felt very angry and complained about her fate. How did she marry such a person who doesn't know how to be warm and cold?

Later, I found that many married girls around me have this problem more or less. I feel that my married husband is not as considerate as before marriage, and he only does things from his own point of view, regardless of his wife's feelings. Many people even use two words to describe their husbands' character: indifference.

In marriage, couples are most afraid of these two words. It is like the biting cold wind in winter, which can make people feel cold instantly. After a long time, it is easy to give up hope for marriage.

Later, I met another sister. Her marriage is relatively happy and her husband is very kind to her. Once, she analyzed her problems for a girl with a bad marriage, and then told her about her growth in marriage.

She said that she actually had the same problem when she first got married, and her husband once said something similar. At that time, she had a stomachache in the middle of the night and called her husband. Her husband calmly told her to go to the hospital at once.

Listening to his tone, she felt a little angry: why isn't he worried at all and doesn't know how to care about me? When she expressed this doubt, her husband said, "I'm not a doctor. I care about you and your stomach won't get better." Shouldn't you go to the hospital for the first time? " Did I do something wrong? "

02

She thought about it carefully, as if there was nothing wrong, but she felt uncomfortable because she lacked the care she wanted.

I got pregnant after half a year of marriage, and I vomited badly when I was pregnant. At this time, her husband was mostly watching the ball game. Seeing her like this did not comfort her.

She said that her heart was cold at that time, and she even began to wonder if all the things he said about loving himself when he got married were false. Now that you have it, you don't know how to cherish it.

It is also an accidental opportunity. Her morning sickness is really serious. When she saw her husband still sitting on the sofa, she thought, why should I suffer? Why is he so idle? So he ordered him to get a washbasin, some hot water and a towel.

After hearing this, the husband got up reluctantly, but he did as she asked. After doing everything, he squatted in front of her and asked, "Are you better?"

She shook her head and looked up, pale. Her husband squatted beside her for a while and then helped her back. After calling twice again, she found that whenever she felt uncomfortable, her husband consciously took hot water and towels.

At the same time, I began to care about her, although my eyes were unbelievable: "How serious? How long will it take to get better? "

From then on, she understood a truth: marriage is actually not as good as falling in love, and women should not ask a man who has just become a husband by the standards of boyfriends. When he is your boyfriend, he may be willing to guess your mind to please. But love is love, marriage is marriage, and men are often more rational than women. Being caring and attentive based on understanding in love is not so easy to appear in marriage, because in his view, there is no need to deliberately please. So, at this time, if you need him to do something, just tell him directly and don't let him guess.

In short, if you want the other person to care about you and understand you, you have to give him such a signal first, otherwise he won't know. Just like many times in love, you may be angry to death, and the other party doesn't know why you are angry. And marriage will amplify this emotion.

03

My sister said that when he understood this truth, everything in the marriage became smooth.

Later, during the whole pregnancy, my sister said that she was not feeling well and she was not pregnant. Then she blamed him for not caring about himself. Instead, she would let him do something for himself and let him see his hard work, and he would naturally know.

Including having children, he is very busy. My sister's in-law said she didn't need her son to come back, but she said she must let him come back and have a look.

She said to us, "I have to show him that it is not easy for him to really know my pain." Otherwise, he won't realize how painful I am and will think that my pain is fake. " Of course, this is based on the fact that my sister is a person who is afraid of pain in life, and my husband knows this.

But then her husband came back and saw it, only to know how difficult it was for her to have a baby. Why? My sister said that because the doctor asked her to take a walk at that time, she couldn't stand up in pain, and her hair and clothes were soaked with sweat in winter.

These can't be fake. So, when she came out of the delivery room later, she found her husband's eyes a little red.

Later, when taking care of the children, my sister refused to take them alone and asked him to help change diapers with milk powder, although he was reluctant at first and thought it would delay his time. But later, I liked it more and more. After all, it is very worthwhile to take care of daily growth.

He will take care of children better than his sister in the future. Of course, her sister likes to praise him, saying that he takes good care of them and he will become more and more energetic.

My sister said, "If I had done all this myself, he wouldn't have done it if I hadn't asked him to, because he didn't think he was needed, but that's not the case. Every woman needs to be understood and loved in marriage. "

Then he said, "If I hadn't asked him to do it, I think he would have become an indifferent husband by now, and my heart would be wronged." Fortunately, after half a year of marriage, my sister understood her husband's "indifference" in practice, because there was no "sense of participation" in marriage.

04

In marriage, a man's sense of participation is very important? Because only through participation, he will have empathy, he will really feel that he is the person needed in this marriage, so that he can not just stand by and watch.

Thinking of the way parents get along, mom is busy at home and dad doesn't do housework. Because my mother disliked his poor work and asked her father to do the dishes, she had to clean it up herself for the second time and simply wouldn't let him do it.

What are the consequences of this?

I remember one time, the two of them were going out together, and my dad left first. When I left, my mother mopped the floor at home and said she would go down in a minute. After more than ten minutes, my father came up and said that my mother was dragging her feet, and there were only a few things at home. Why did it take so long?

In my father's eyes, all housework can be completed in three to five minutes, and cooking and washing are very easy. Why does he think so? Father takes these things for granted because he doesn't do housework.

My sister has been married for two years. He said that her husband, who was indifferent when he first got married, has now become aware of the cold and the hot. He knows how to care about her and how to help her when he gets home. Although he asked her to say it at first, he would do it, but later he consciously formed a habit.

And some women, while contracting everything in marriage, blame their husbands for not knowing how to share their troubles. In fact, in front of your lover, you don't need to hide your emotions, nor do you need him to guess your thoughts.

I hope every woman can understand this truth in marriage, lighten her burden and get the love she wants.