Two days ago, I wrote his story in an article, that is, Wu Wansheng, because of various unreasonable demands of the woman's family before marriage, asked for a red envelope of 8888 yuan to open the door on the wedding day, and canceled the wedding in a rage. I am very happy to see him happy again.
Wu Wansheng's current wife is a colleague of the current company. She has a gentle temper, a reasonable book, and a simple atmosphere. In fact, in the process of talking about marriage, the two families also had differences and disputes, but they were all resolved under the purpose of "for the good of the children", and the whole wedding went smoothly.
After listening to his words, I was very emotional. Getting married is a happy thing. If everyone is willing to combine happiness for the couple and add icing on the cake to their lives, in fact, everything is easy to talk about.
However, if people are not right and want to get some benefits from marriage, such as money and face, but let the other side ride a tiger at a critical moment, such a marriage and such a family will not matter; Even if the ceremony has been completed, it will be bumpy in the later life.
In fact, the bride-to-be plays a key role in this. Just like the bride in Wu Wansheng's last marriage, if you can think more about Wu Wansheng, don't be so face-saving. Now they live happily together.
As an emotional worker, Tian Gefei has always suggested that marriage must be evenly matched between the two parties and the family. Without this standard, it can't be said that marriage must be bad, but most of them have different views, and the marriage ending with family disparity is not good.
On this basis, there is a basis for talking about marriage, but not too much. Because the person you choose, you know the reality of his family best. Although marriage needs material conditions as the foundation, it can't let the man's family borrow money to marry you. Besides, if the man borrows money, shouldn't he pay it back when he gets married?
If you cannot accept the material conditions of the man's family, the quickest way is to break up. Because love is different from marriage. Love can drink enough water and has low material requirements, but marriage is different. Marriage is to enter real life. Without a certain material foundation, marriage is unsustainable. "But unlike those who have been poor together," poverty can destroy love in marriage.
Feelings and materials depend on how you choose. Marriage is a matter for two families, but in the final analysis, it is also a matter for two people. As long as two people love each other, have the same goal and work together, they can live the life they want.
I'm afraid of ignoring the actual conditions. I'm afraid that I will blindly compare with others, be proud of myself, and be squeezed maliciously, but the other party can't or won't meet their own requirements, so my mind will be distorted and I will finally do something I regret.
I wrote this article today because I heard the story of Wu Wansheng's best man at the wedding.
One of Wu Wansheng's groomsmen is Zheng Wu (a pseudonym), who is a late college classmate. This time, he came from other places to help him. Coincidentally, he was there at the last wedding. Witnessed the wedding, he lamented: "Women don't do it, men are happy."
I heard something from his words, and I intuitively knew that this was a man with a "story". Only after questioning did I know that he should have got married on May 1 this year. It is also because of the various demands of the woman's family before marriage that she retired from the wedding banquet hotel and called her relatives and friends to tell them that the wedding was cancelled and she wanted to return the bride price. She is not soft-hearted in the face of girls kneeling for mercy. He said that being soft on girls means being hard on parents. He can't do such a thing. He joked that he and Wu Wansheng are both my brothers.
In fact, before marriage, his girlfriend was a very gentle girl, and she was very gentle and obedient. His parents were also very satisfied with the girl and urged them to get married quickly.
His parents have prepared a wedding room for him. It is a townhouse in the suburbs, which has been renovated and has an independent garden. The surrounding environment is good. Zheng Wu's parents also said that if the woman wants to add her name, she can go through the formalities of change after marriage.
My parents-in-law are also satisfied with Zheng Wu's statement and the information from the girl's mouth.
However, on the issue of bride price, the bride price that the girl wanted embarrassed Zheng Wu's family.
Originally, I bought the villa for decoration, but my family spent 1.2 million, leaving less than 600,000. According to Zheng Wu, you can't let your wedding empty your parents' pension. The bride price budget is only about/kloc-0.5 to 200,000, and the banquet is about/kloc-0.00, leaving 300,000 for your parents. 0.2 million/200 thousand bride price is already the highest in the local area.
However, the woman's family asked for a bride price of 300,000 yuan, and her parents-in-law also said that her daughter was good-looking and good-tempered, which was really a blessing from their Lao Wu family's previous lives. A cousin of the girl, nothing is like her, and the bride price is even 200 thousand.
Zheng Wu was so angry that he went to his parents-in-law to discuss the matter again. As a result, he was pulled by his parents and said that they also liked this girl. 300 thousand, let's say 300 thousand
In this way, the wedding was in full swing.
Twenty days before the wedding, the girl called Zheng Wu and asked him to buy a bracelet. Zheng Wu is very strange, haven't you already sent three gold coins?
The girl said that she saw her cousin had a jade bracelet, which was very nice. Her mother also said that there should be a jade bracelet. Zheng Wu is very busy, so he said to the girl, Go and buy it yourself, and then give her money.
The girl was very unhappy and said to Zheng Wu on the phone, "What do you mean? Let me buy it. Will you reimburse me? I feel like I forced you to buy it You should have bought it for me. "
Zheng Wu was very angry. Isn't that forcing him to buy it, or even sounding grandiose? He held his breath and asked the girl what she wanted. The girl said, "I don't even know what I like." Do you really love me? " "
Zheng Wu almost vomited blood with anger. He had to put down his work and drive to the girl's house, begging grandpa to tell grandma to "please" the girl to the jewelry store and buy a green bracelet that is better than his cousin's.
This is not the peak of the woman's family being a demon.
Ten days before the wedding, the girl told him to sell the villa in the suburbs and buy a finely decorated house in the city center, so as to be closer to his family.
Only ten days later, the woman's family made such a request. Don't say that the money for selling a house is not enough to buy a house in the city center. Even if it is enough, it will only be 10 days. How can we manage this? But the girl said, no change, no marriage.
At that time, the hotel had been booked in advance, the invitation card had been sent out, and everything was ready, just one foot away.
Zheng Wu said, "Can we talk about changing rooms after the wedding?" ?
The girl said, no, this is the unanimous decision of their family.
No way, Zheng Wu went to the girl's house to discuss this matter. Only then did I know that the girl's cousin's wedding room was bought in the city center. It turns out that their family is compared with my cousin's. In the eyes of the girl's parents, the daughter is many times better than the cousin, and should not marry worse than the cousin.
Zheng Wu was very angry. He said to his parents-in-law: "It's ok to change rooms. But the money for selling that apartment and buying a house in the city center is still nearly 1 10,000. Do you pay? "
My father-in-law looked at Zheng Wu in surprise: "Isn't this what your family has to prepare? Our family can't afford this money! "
Zheng Wu looked at their family, took a deep breath and said, "Well, this marriage can be called off."
After turning to go out, he went door to door to inform relatives and friends of the cancellation of the wedding, apologized to them, and returned the hotel and wedding company.
Three days before the wedding, the parents-in-law and the girl went to Zheng Wu's house to discuss changing rooms. Zheng Wu said firmly, "The house will not change."
The girl said, "You don't want to get married?"
Zheng Wu was angry and laughed: "The one who should get married is not married. I already said it at your house that day. "
My parents-in-law thought Zheng Wu was still joking and said, "Forget it. Let's talk about this after we get married. Still get married first. "
Zheng Wu said seriously, "I really don't want to get married." The hotel has been returned by me, and I also called my relatives and friends. I'm not kidding. "
My parents-in-law are anxious: "If you don't finish your order, you won't finish it?"
"Yes, what you ordered, you changed your mind again and again, and even such an important event as marriage was agreed, and you dare to break off an engagement without changing rooms. You dare to say it, I will dare to do it. "
The girl burst into tears: "I won't change houses, let's get married." Say, "plop" kneeling in front of Zheng Wu, "our family's invitation is also sent out, I want this wedding all my life. If you don't get married, you will ruin me. "
Zheng Wu said, "I didn't ruin you, but you were too snobbish and too fond of keeping up with the joneses. Your cousin is well married. Don't you think it's right for me to cancel the wedding? Can't you find someone better than me? One more thing, I'm not kidding. The wedding was cancelled. I have a townhouse and I'm afraid I can't find a good wife. "
Some people will say that Zheng Wu has done a great job. Girls have given up changing rooms, come and propose, and get it over with. What's the point?
I want to say that there is nothing wrong with Zheng Wu. If you marry this girl into this family, I don't know what to ask Zheng Wu after marriage, and encourage her to compare with her family.
Comparing with others is a very harmful psychology. What will she compare with others now, such as jewelry and housing?
She will compare all kinds of things and what brand of clothes people wear; What grade is the car driven by others; Her husband is so good at making money; The children's grades are so excellent; There are too many things to compare. If you live in comparison every day, you will never be satisfied.
With this kind of psychological comparison, it will often lead to psychological imbalance between partners, demand more from partners, and then destroy the feelings of husband and wife, and marriage will be unhappy.
Getting married is your own business, and only you know whether it is suitable or not. No matter how glamorous someone else's marriage is, it is also someone else's. Moreover, every marriage has its happiness and misfortune, and there is no need to only see the happy side of others and ignore the unfortunate side.
Girls should also have their own opinions in marriage, because it is themselves who live with their lovers, not others. At the end of the marriage, two people help each other. As long as the other person's character is online and the material difference is not too much, don't be too entangled, and don't press the man because of saving face.
Remember one sentence: rabbits will bite when they are in a hurry.