Reading Tip: He said, "I have never forced you to pay for me! Besides, it's all your own free will. I admit I don't have much sense of responsibility. I'm loose and have a bad temper, but that's all. I really can't change it and I don't want to change it. I don't need someone like the "Holy Mother" to talk to me every day!
Interviewer: Jingnv Yaoyao
Talked to: Morphy (pseudonym)
Although "no one likes him", I still threw myself into his arms like a moth.
Six years ago, I met Fang Hui (a pseudonym). At that time, I worked in the sales office, and Fang Hui worked in the decoration company. The two companies are next to each other and we are getting to know each other. Fang Hui began to pursue me and often gave me flowers and other gifts. I was moved by his concern and gradually accepted him.
With the deepening of contact, I found that Fang Hui is actually a very story-telling person. When he was very young, his parents divorced and he grew up with his grandparents. I always feel that it may be related to special growth experiences. Fang Hui's personality seems a little withdrawn, and she seems to have experienced many difficulties. I once heard him say that he left the campus before finishing college, because in his junior year, he founded a small company outside with his friends, but was found to have problems and was expelled from school. While feeling that he could be honest with me, I overheard another version in his classmates' mouths: in fact, all the money he started his company in those years was given by a rich woman, and his ambiguous relationship with that rich woman became the talk of many classmates. After graduation, it was not very smooth. He opened a clothing store and sold cosmetics, all of which ended in failure. When I met him, it was also the low point of his career. He is having a bad time at work and is hesitating whether to resign!
I just started to fall in love seriously and met such a man with a story. By rights, I should quit, but I thought that was all in the past. Besides, at that time, he was still young and didn't know what true love was. He probably did those things because he didn't meet true love. I believe I can warm him with a fiery heart. As long as we really love each other, nothing can stop our determination to be together. But then again, Fang Hui sometimes has a really bad temper. Mom also said that Fang Hui seemed to have a bad temper, fearing that I would suffer in the future. But I think, who hasn't lost his temper yet? As long as he loves me, everything can change
In fact, people around you are not optimistic about Fang Hui. The reason why his parents don't like him is that he is almost 30, has no house or car, poor family conditions and unstable career, and is afraid that I will suffer in the future. Friends think he has a bad personality. But in my opinion, all this is not a problem. I think Fang Hui is actually talented. The reason why he has fallen to this point is mainly because there is no suitable opportunity and no woman has really loved him. Since we are in love, I will warm him with selfless love, transform him and let him stand up again. At that time, I thought that as long as there was love, bread was not important. Love was, after all, my own business, and the opinions of people around me were even less important.
I tried to "reform" him with selfless love, but he didn't appreciate it at all
Even if everyone doesn't like him, I will stay with him without hesitation.
Two years later, we got married. Speaking of the wedding that year, I still feel deeply. At that time, I wanted to live a good life with him, and I didn't care what expenses the man had to pay. Most of the wedding expenses were paid by my family, and I also spent my own private money for many years. I really tried my best to organize the wedding. I planned it with the wedding company several times before, and personally arranged it on the spot two days ago. Even the boss of the wedding company said, "After so many years of marriage, it is the first time to see the bride's care. What about the groom? " At that time, I didn't catch the subtext of this sentence at all, so I said, "The groom is busy at work." In fact, now that I think about it, Fang Hui was not very busy at that time, but I made him look "useless" with excessive care, so he asked me to be busy.
After marriage, we have been renting a house. Fang Hui's job still changes every three days. During that time, my income was relatively high, and I usually paid for the basic expenses of my life. At first, I didn't feel anything wrong. Later, Fang Hui resigned and opened an online shop at home, selling shoes and clothes, saying that it would be more free and not bound by the boss. I don't think it's reliable for a big man to open an online shop at home. Besides, we are not young, and we will consider buying a house and having children in the future. Not just after graduation. How can we do whatever we want? But Fang Hui thinks I always interfere with him. During that time, every time I came home from work, I saw Fang Hui, a big man, sitting by his computer at home, waiting for his illusory list. My heart is full of discomfort, and naturally there will be more nagging and complaining.
After a long time, I also feel the pressure of life. Monthly rent, utilities, and various human contacts add up to a lot of expenses. Sometimes I wonder, if I didn't choose Fang Hui, could I live more easily? My best friend said that he can't live without you, because he is not strong enough, or because he didn't find anyone better than you. Although two people will share joys and sorrows together, if only one person is paying for the other, it feels really tired. But I can't bear to leave him, even thinking that if I leave, it is estimated that he can't even pay the rent.
Later, just as the civil service exam was about to begin, I advised Fang Hui to sign up and give it a try. However, Fang Hui said that he was not interested in the civil service examination at all, and he was not suitable for working in an office. I am in a hurry. At least one of us needs to have a stable job, okay? I am now in a private enterprise. It's just a question of my boss's words when I left. His online shop doesn't know when I can make money. If this continues, I'm afraid I can't even drink the northwest wind! We had a quarrel. I said he had no sense of responsibility as a man, and he didn't even have the idea of supporting his family! I was so angry that I even said, "mud can't help the wall." Finally, he compromised and agreed to take the civil service exam.
Unexpectedly, Fang Hui was admitted! This made me overjoyed, but he seemed quite calm and thought it was just a job and a means of making a living. After a while, Fang Hui inadvertently mentioned that his unit was going to run for a position. I hope Fang Hui can take the initiative to fight for it. Fang Hui said disdainfully, "Come on, I'm not cut out to be an official at all. Besides, I am a junior! " I think man proposes, God disposes, and we will fight for it anyway. During that time, I scrimped and saved my salary and bonus, hoping to help him. It's really hard to do things without money these days. Later, Fang Hui knew my thoughts and even yelled at me, saying that I didn't need to arrange his life, so I wouldn't be distracted. God knows how I arranged his life, but I just want to make our life better!
He said that he didn't "force" me to pay the bill for him, but being with me was actually very tiring.
Later, I simply left him alone, thinking that even if he was not motivated, at least his job was stable. Just when our life was just beginning to be calm and a little more comfortable, I found something was wrong with Fang Hui. I went to his company once and found that he was having an affair with the new girl. I reminded him a few words, and he said I had too many things. Later, I watched him go home and sometimes chatted in front of the computer. When I saw him really chatting with the little girl at work, I asked him what he was doing. Don't miss his future, ruin his family and have nothing! Unexpectedly, he dropped the keyboard on the ground and was furious! After that, he looked at me calmly and said, "I'm tired, or let's separate!" " "
I began to cry hysterically. I've done so much for him over the years. In the end, I didn't expect him to do this to me! He said, "I have never forced you to pay for me!" " Besides, it's all your own free will. I admit I don't have much sense of responsibility. I'm loose and have a bad temper, but that's all. I really can't change it and I don't want to change it. I don't need someone like the "Holy Mother" to talk to me every day! Being with you is really depressing, you know? Maybe we're not right at all. "
On that day, we were tired of making noise. When I calmed down, I suddenly found that Fang Hui was so strange in my eyes. I always thought that I knew him very well, and I always thought that he was not confident enough, even as fragile as a child sometimes, so I should be kind to him, tolerate him and make him strong. Even if I pay more, I never feel bitter. I just hope he can cherish my goodness. Unexpectedly, in the end, it was just my own wishful thinking. Recently in the cold war, I want to give each other some time to think about whether it is really inappropriate. Is it wrong to love someone and hope that he will become better?