Oh, I'm a crosstalk performer.
Oh? Crosstalk actor?
B that's right!
I'm not like you.
B and you are?
I am a scholar.
What are you?
A scholar.
B literati? Well, I really don't care.
Is a ignored?
B yes.
Didn't I smell you?
B Ah ... By the way, where did you "smell" alone? What do you mean "smell me"?
A scholar.
B this pair.
A I have to read books and newspapers every day.
B study.
A is playing the piano and dancing sword.
B ok!
A is writing a poem, wetting the kang.
b?
A: Well, write an account.
He almost told the truth.
A, write accounts.
Is your job to write accounts?
A of course! I have to calculate how much I earn and spend every day, and whether I can keep a balance.
B has a plan for life.
A also often goes to the park to play.
B Oh, you like going to the park.
A: Yes. This is March! I also went to Beihai.
B Oh, you went to Beihai to play!
A is playing.
B: Huh? What does "where to play" mean? Didn't you just say play?
You don't know, because I like talking loudly.
How embarrassing is it for you to say that?
A went to Beihai to play.
B Hey, have fun!
A It was a nice day, sunny!
B yes.
A it's a little windy. The wind is not strong.
How windy is B?
A is only about one or two grades.
B well, it's not big.
A Oh, I looked at the scenery. Very beautiful.
B yes.
A When I look at this river, it is also very clear.
B-ho。
A I was happy when I saw the river so clear!
How about b?
I just washed a jujube.
Oh ... huh?
Wash "jujube" ...
Stop it! What if I want to drown you?
How can a jujube be drowned?
Why won't B drown? The water in the North Sea is deep. If you take off your clothes and take a bath in the river, will it drown you?
As soon as I told you that, you must have never washed jujube.
B Why didn't I take a shower?
What if I take off my clothes?
B nonsense! How to wash without undressing?
I wash jujube, do you understand?
B I see. Take off your clothes and take a bath in the river.
No, washing dates.
Why are you taking a bath?
There is a jujube in the field. I picked it up, washed it there and ate it!
B wash "jujube"?
A. wash dates.
Well, it means washing dates.
I already told you, I like talking loudly.
B, can you speak louder? You frightened the life out of me. I'm afraid of drowning you.
This is a joke.
Don't joke.
A I was really happy that day. The river is very emotional. The river blown by this breeze is a layer of waves.
B yes.
A At that time, when I saw the waves of the river layer by layer, my poetry was greatly stimulated.
Oh, you made a poem.
A it's too late to write poetry.
B Then what do you do?
I had a brainwave and wrote a pair of couplets.
B Oh, I made a pair. So what's your topic?
A take this "Feng Shui" as the topic.
B ok! How is this pair made?
What is A doing?
B You read it and I'll learn from you.
Read it? Where to study?
B: Read it here.
A is studying here? You can't read it here.
B what?
What is this place?
This is a place of entertainment.
An entertainment place with many scholars and a wide range of literati. One word difference will not be laughed at by everyone. What can I do as a student?
What kind of bird is this?
Look, everyone laughs at me. What can I do?
B that's all right. I will laugh at you. I'll keep it for you. Isn't that enough?
A Then I'll read it to you. My work is called "Wind and Water".
B yes. Then how do you make this online link?
The first link is: the wind blows the waves on the water.
B Oh, that's not bad. Ha ha!
Laugh, laugh.
Oh, where, where! What's your bottom line?
A: This is a shame, a shame!
B you're welcome! Then who is your next couplet?
Shame, shame!
B you are too modest! Then who is your next couplet?
A it's really thick ...
Have you finished your meal? What are you doing?
A is very modest to you!
B don't be modest! I asked where are you? What is this couplet?
"Wind" is the blowing wind.
B Oh, I didn't ask about this "wind". Let me ask you something, Er Lian.
Below the "wind", that is "blowing". This "blow"! Next to it is the word "mouth", and here is the word "debt".
B I know this!
Oh, this acquaintance?
Let me ask you something, Er Lian!
Below a is the "water surface", which is superficial.
B Yes, I understand!
Oh, I see!
Let me ask you something! The next couplet?
A is "layer by layer" below!
B: He didn't download the couplets, did he?
First, this "layer" is certainly not one or two layers, but many-"layers"!
B Yes, I know. Let me ask you something! Next couplet!
Just below the armor is the "wave".
B he didn't download the couplets.
One "wave" is three waters ... What do you mean?
Let me ask you something: does a scholar like you have a door in that house?
What does this mean? What is this? Of course there is a door!
Oh! There are doors, too. Is there a door frame in your house?
A There is no door frame. Where can the door be installed?
B Oh, and the doorframe! For example, on holidays, your family posts couplets, and you post "wind blows water" on the upper couplet here, so what do you post on the lower couplet here?
Oh! I know what you mean!
B I see!
Tell me, two doorframes. It says here, "The wind blows waves on the water!" "
B: Hey!
What's posted here?
B: Yes! Pairs should be linked up and down!
A: Otherwise, you are too simple-minded.
Oh, why?
This couple is dead, and you are alive! You can write another article and post it here That's not important.
Wow! Two waves!
The three of them are still attached!
B never heard of it! How do you read it?
A I'll teach you! Read it this way: the first part will lower the voice! Follow the rhyme of the second pair. It sounds like a couplet!
B how to pronounce it?
A couplet is-"The wind blows the waves on the water."
What about the second couplet?
A couplet is-"The wind blows water layer by layer-waves!"
B hehe! That horizontal batch?
The wind blows on the water!
B is this it? What kind of scholar are you? You are simply "picking the date"! I know you! I will tell everyone, and people will understand! Not bad! He really went to Beihai to play the other day! Obviously it is to play, but it means to pick up dates! I heard that golden jujube is delicious, but I haven't tasted it. Think about what to do. Hey! There are so many tourists in Beihai that it is impossible to guarantee that dates will fall there! What if I drop something? Ok, pick it up and taste it, and tell it to others tomorrow! He wandered by the river! Just in front, two people were eating while walking with a big steamed stuffed bun and jujube. A man saw the waves blowing beautifully and said to the people next to him, "Hey, look! It' s really' the wind blows the water'! A pint of man a listen to, "ah, good! That's enough for you. Let's write it down! "Hey, where is he? Just take a pen and write it down! Didn't they write it down? He's in the back! He wrote it down! The man said, "Look, we have the first part! "Haven't download, how bad! I, I'll give you another couplet. " I am preparing to make couplets. When I saw that the jujube in my hand was broken, people stopped eating it as soon as they saw it was broken, and "pa" was thrown away at once. As soon as he saw this opportunity, he went after it! I can't eat this jujube when I pick it. How come? It fell into the mud! So what should we do? He also had an idea, so he went to the river. Why are you going? Hey, I went there to wash dates! After washing this "jujube", it's over, it's broken! He also finished reading the next couplet, but he didn't recognize it. That's right. You scared me with couplets, didn't you? What should I do? As the saying goes, good! "Days don't talk about self-esteem, land doesn't talk about self-sufficiency, and water doesn't talk about itself! How thick is the BRICS and how thin is the jade tile? " Say "smelly" proudly! You got it? Hum! Do you know what I do?
Actor a.
B ah, yes. An actor's belly is a grocery store. I have whatever you buy. Fool others! Me? You almost. I said you can't say it for nothing. Today, I give you a pair of couplets. Remember, tomorrow, it's fine again.
Fool others! Did you hear that?
A ok!
So what's your couplet?
A song "The wind blows the waves on the water"!
Oh! There is a "wind blowing" in the first part, but what about the second part? I'll give you the right answer to "Rain", hehe! I'll give you the answer to "rain hits the beach"! You got it?
A I see!
B do you remember?
A yes.
B ok! Pick a date! Don't boo around here! What is a "scholar"? Really!
Oh, you are really talented!
B haha, how dare you, how dare you.
A said that crosstalk performers have little knowledge.
B Oh, that's them.
You're not.
b?
You are a member of the rock. You are a flawless jade.
Oh, no, no!
There will be a Ganoderma lucidum like you in the grass.
B, I'm flattered, I'm flattered, haha!
A: There will be a big pot of meat like you in this dog food bowl.
B you too ... then I'm still dog food! Is that a compliment?
Compliment you? Why should I praise you?
B, here you are. Here comes the couplet!
A pair of couplets? How did you do it right?
B "Rain hits a thousand holes in the beach"!
A "rain hits a thousand points in the beach pit"? How can I put it?
B of course I did!
Tell me.
B I said it was raining. It rained at ten thousand points and landed on the beach. I smashed this beach and smashed 10,000 pits. This is not called "rain hitting the beach."
Oh, is it raining? Ten thousand points were dropped. Have you counted them?
B me? number
A Then how do you know the next 10000? Isn't it much lighter Can't it be less? Isn't it allowed to drop nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine points? Isn't it allowed to drop 100 1 min? Why is it so small, just 10 thousand points? All these 10 thousand points fell on the beach?
B.
Not on the road?
B ... no ..
Didn't it fall on the stone? So what if the rain falls on the stone without hitting the pit? We must hire a stonemason to chisel it now.
B that's too much trouble.
So what rain will fall on your head? Do you want to drill now?
So my head is a colander?
What do you mean by "rain hitting the beach"?
B isn't it ... much better than you don't have couplets?
How do you know I didn't download the couplets?
B There are couplets. Why not read them?
A hasn't let me see it yet. I just want to explain here. Look at this rush! Next couplet! Next couplet! I heard you! I don't care about you! Do you know that?/You know what?
Well, now that you mention it, do you have couplets?
A of course! There is no bottom line. Can I talk to you here?
What's your next couplet?
A: My bottom line? Well, it's about the same as yours.
B Oh, the same?
A is the same? Then what did you say? Of course not.
B Then who are you?
A: My bottom line is "rain hits the beach pit"!
B "Rain hits the beach pit"? I was right when I said "rain hits the beach".
A is it the same?
B Oh, the difference is not a word!
Huh? Not a word? The word entered the palace gate, and it was impossible to drag it out. For example, if you find a dollar, can I give you a dollar?
B Where can I buy it?
Oh, not a word.
B that won't do! We are still short of nine dollars.
A It's still true, so what do you mean by this "rain hits a thousand holes in the beach"? Whether you are right or wrong, I am not angry with you. You see this big set just now-"What literati? Is it pure jujube? " How did you know I was picking the date?
B You look like me! Hmm.
Do I look like it? Where is my handwriting? "Selection date"? Huh? Listen to this big set! What about "the sky doesn't talk about self-esteem", "the earth doesn't talk about self-esteem", "people don't talk about themselves" and "water doesn't talk about themselves" What is "how thick is the brick" and "how thin is the jade tile"? You are such a mess. Huh? "Proud to read' smelly' again? Is that so?
B what's wrong?
A read "smelly" from arrogance, a read "smelly" from arrogance! Where have you been?
B I'm ... it's a little late. Aren't I going to the beach?
Is it more like? Or "The Actor's Belly, the Grocery Store" again?
B right, right.
Is that a grocery store?
B, the grocery store.
A big grocery store, a small grocery store?
B this ... small grocery store.
A, pack matches!
B no.
Buy a box of cigarettes.
B not for sale!
What does A sell?
There is nothing to sell! Take stock today.
You don't understand the rules of a pair! There are several pairs, countless pairs. If my first film is "A Thousand Waves", your second film can be "Ten Thousand Pits". My first movie was The Waves, so why the Mass Pit? Huh? Know what is right, don't be wrong if you don't know! That old saying goes well! You know it as you know it, and you know it; I don't know if I don't know, but I know; Don't worry about whether people know or not, and don't worry about others! It is possible to ask for it! "
Listen, he's playing again!
I can't finish one! The more I think about it, the angrier I get. I want to hit you!
B what? Hit someone?
Artificial intelligence ... I'm afraid I can't beat you.
B Aren't you talking nonsense?
I want to scold you.
How dare you curse this street?
A is detrimental to my student status! I won't hit you, I won't scold you, and I can't solve the hatred in my unhappiness. You have three minutes, you must answer me! Otherwise, I will go crazy with you!
B, no introduction!
I also said smoking.
B Hey, sir? Why on earth do you smoke?
I can't finish one! I will ask you what is "rain hitting the beach"?
B Who do you think made me angry? I can't help it Say something nice and tell him to go, and I'll be finished. Hey hey!
I can't finish one!
You scared me! You, calm down and don't argue with me! I can't talk, so you treat me like a child!
A, wait a minute! What did you say you were?
B I'm just a kid?
A "child"? Hum! You can't compete!
Why can't I compare with this "child"?
That is an ancient man.
B the ancients? I don't know.
A don't know? That's good! I said, listen, think about-when-to start!
What do you mean by "looking back"?
Not now.
Oh, a thing of the past!
Wen Yanbo of Jiada Song Dynasty, children have the wisdom of floating ball. Sima Wengong has a plan to break Weng and save his son. Han Kong Rong, four-year-old Qin Li, knows the courtesy of humility; Xiangjiu Huang got married at the age of Wen Fu; Qin Ganluo became prime minister at the age of 12; Wu began to study literature at the age of seven and began to practice martial arts at the age of nine. At the age of thirteen, he worshipped the commander-in-chief of the water army, took charge of the military power in six counties and eighty-one States, offered risks, presented serial gifts, borrowed the east wind and carved feathers.
Burning warships made Cao crazy and almost died in Jiangnan. Despite the help of Wolong and Feng Chu, Zhou Yu is the best among the children. Who do you compare with these children I am talking about, sir?
B I can't compete with anyone! By the way, you just said that's good! Didn't you mention those people who wet the bed?
What do you mean, "rain hits the beach"?
Didn't I tell you? Don't be angry with me! As for me, I know nothing. I am such a rude person. Don't give it to me ...
What did you say you were?
B I is a rude person.
A "rude man"? You can't compete!
B Why can't I compete with this "rude man"?
That is an ancient man.
B I don't know.
A don't know? That's good. I said, listen, think about the beginning!
B is still a thing of the past.
There was a rude man in the Tang Dynasty. This person's compound surname is Wei Chi, and the single word is Gong, which is called Jingde. After Baoding, he stayed in Wuzhou, grabbing three customs every day and eight villages at night. Ever since the King of Qin visited Bai Bi Pass at night, he drove the King of Qin under the moon, whipped him three times, returned two hammers, and jumped into the Red Mud Creek. Since the Tang Dynasty, Wang has conquered in the south, and Pique can be recovered in the north! Expedition across the sea and visit Baipao next month. When the Tang King won, the army moved back to Korea. To save the white robe, Weichi Gong punched and kicked Li Daozong, the royal relative, outside the noon gate, knocking out two front teeth. The king of Tang was very angry and was exiled to the grange. Later, he visited Jingdezhen in a white robe. Weichi Gong was fishing alone at the bow, when he heard a loud shout behind him, and the horse called again, "I've hired Dong Xueping as my servant, and I've come to see my old friend. You and I will go to the golden palace to deliver a decree to protect you as a brave man. " Jing De said, "General, don't make mistakes! I am a mountain village person, and I am an uneducated person, hoeing the ground. " Rude person-Jingdezhen! Master gatekeeper, can you compete?
Master b? I can't even compete with rabbits, can I?
Then tell me! What does "rain hits the beach" mean?
B Do you remember this? What about you? Calm down! Didn't I say that? Don't argue with me! As for me, I can't speak. I am such a reckless person.
Wait, what did you say you were?
Well, I am a reckless person.
A "reckless person" You can't compete.
I can't compete with B for recklessness.
That is an ancient man.
B I don't know.
A don't know? That's good!
Tell me about it and listen! Thinking about the beginning!
B If I'm unlucky, I'm unlucky. I'm considering it!
In the Three Kingdoms of the Han Dynasty, there was a foolish man. My uncle, surnamed Liu Mingbei, has lived in Dashulou Sang since Sanjieyi in Taoyuan. The second brother is Guan Mingyu and lives in Xie Liang County, Zhou Pu, Shaanxi Province. The third brother is surnamed Zhang and lives in Fanyang County, Zhuozhou City. The fourth brother, surnamed Zhao Ming Yun Zilong, lived in Changshan County, the calm government, and was called the ever-victorious general. Just because there was a fierce battle in front of Changbanpo, Zhao Yun broke into Cao Ying single-handedly, cut two strokes, captured three strokes, and his horse fell into the pit, which was like wasting his life. On the top of the mountain, Cao Mengde saw a young man dressed in white, wearing a white helmet, holding a white flag, stepping on a white horse dragon and carrying a bright silver gun in one hand. He is really a brave general. I thought to myself: since I accepted this general, why worry about it! There is love in the heart, Xu Shu secretly protects Zhao Yun, and Xu Shu enters Cao Cao without saying a word. Today, when I saw General Zhao's horse fall into the pit, it was almost scrapped. He said, "Does the Prime Minister want to love him?" Cao Cao said, "Exactly". Xu Shu said, "Why not take General Ben in?" Cao Cao quickly gave an order: "Make the mountain shake so that the three armies can hear clearly. I want Zhao Yun alive, not Zilong dead. If a soldier and a general hurt General Zhao's life! 830,000 troops, 5 1 general, fought against him alone. " Hearing this, people dare not move forward, so they have to retreat. Shaozhu Zhao Yun; The second battle always won the general's extraordinary courage, killing seven in and seven out and breaking through the encirclement. How could Cao let such a brave general go? Stay close behind! After catching up with Dangyang Bridge, Zhang Fei arrived and shouted, "Fourth Brother, don't panic. The family is here, it's okay! " Make way for Zhao Yun's men. When Cao Cao arrived, Zhao Yun was not there. He saw a big black-faced man standing on the bridge. Cao Cao quickly asked Xia Houdun, "Who is this big black-faced man?" ? Xiahou Dun said, "He is Zhang Fei, a reckless man." Listen to Cao Cao, ah! Surprised: I remembered that when I beheaded Yan Liang, I told a family that he had a sworn third brother, Zhang, who had a good reputation. In a million-man army, he can rise to the top of the general, just like looking for something, looking at the pattern from the back of his hand. I saw it today. It was really brave. Take off the umbrella cover of Luo Qingjia and see how the martial arts of that savage is. "When Luo Qing's umbrella cover was opened, I saw Zhang Fei: the leopard has a circle eye on its head, its face is as smooth as iron, there is light in the black, and there is darkness in the light. At the bottom of the sea, it is like a steel needle, like a wire. Wearing a zhentie helmet and a double dragon fighting treasure, it floats and is embedded with eight treasures-clouds, Luo, umbrellas, covers, flowers, cans, fish and dragons. The beast of Yanyun, Wan Li, dressed in a chain mail with a big leaf, lined with a soap robe and wearing tiger's head combat boots, got off the horse and stood on the bridge with an eight-snake spear in his hand, gnashing his teeth and cursing: "Cao Cao listened to the truth, ha! Today, you, Mr. Zhang, are here to attack and fight, to advance and retreat, to fight and fight; Don't attack, don't fight, don't advance, don't retreat, you are a man! " Shout, cao bing scared off; Shout twice and cross the river; Shout three times to drink Dangyang Bridge. Later generations have a poem praising: "Save Zhao Yun in front of Changbanpo and scare off Cao Cao's millions of troops. His surname is Zhang, and he has been a boor for generations! Reckless man-Zhang Fei! Can you compete?
Don't talk about Zhang Fei, I can't even compare with coffee.
A: What do you mean, "10,000 fish on the beach pit"?
B: How do you remember this?
I can't finish one!
You talked for a long time, but I forgot if I didn't say it!
Understand? Come on, you still don't eat.
B listen!
I listen, you sing?
Look.
I see, you've changed!
B yo?
A is six when turned upside down.
Wow!
Have a drink? You bring soup!
B, no introduction!
A, don't borrow. Can you get by?
B forget it, forget it!
Do you eat leeks with spicy garlic?
B I said forget it!
A I forgot! You are a monkey.
B I is not good!
A: You can't ask a doctor to see you!
You make me small.
Jony J didn't bully you!
B I'm still young.
Where is the full moon?
B me?