Chen Deqin
It has been more than a year since my eldest brother-in-law passed away. Over the past year or so, I have wanted to write something countless times, but I have never done it because I still don’t believe that my eldest brother-in-law in his prime has left us. Subconsciously, he was working outside, leaving the beginning of the year and returning home at the end of the year like other migrant workers. Then he loudly and cheerfully shouted to everyone to go to his house to cook hot pot and eat pickled fish. It was Qingming Festival, and my niece said she wanted to go back to the countryside to hang her father's grave. I suddenly realized that my elder brother-in-law would never come back again.
How come a lively and healthy person suddenly disappears from our lives? The pain caused by this sudden disappearance to loved ones is far more severe than the pain caused by death due to old age, frailty and illness.
The death of the eldest brother-in-law was due to an accident.
One night in the winter of the year before last, my niece called me in a panic, saying that her father had an accident on the construction site. My heart suddenly skipped a beat. Although I was anxious at the time, I just thought that it would be okay. My eldest brother-in-law would wake up after sleeping in the intensive care unit for two days. It was just that he was suffering from pain and suffered a physical disadvantage. I never thought that his life would be in danger.
The next day, my niece told me that my elder brother-in-law needed a craniotomy for intracranial bleeding. I said, do it. Although craniotomy is risky, modern medical technology is advanced and there shouldn't be any problems. The next day, the niece said that after a CT scan, the intracranial pressure of the eldest brother-in-law was too high to allow surgery, and there was no sign of blood circulation in the brain. The doctor said that he was brain dead. I hurriedly asked my niece if her heartbeat and breathing were still there. The niece said that her heart stopped beating last night, and the doctor later performed compressions. The niece cried and said that her father might not be able to survive. My heart skipped a beat and I immediately yelled, "What are you talking about? You're still angry, why are you crying?" The niece immediately stopped crying and started sobbing.
Early the next morning, my second sister and I rushed to the place where my eldest brother-in-law’s accident happened. Sitting on the bus, I felt for the first time the heartache and helplessness of a loved one who was about to leave. Didn't it mean that a miracle happened? What if the elder brother-in-law wakes up suddenly after sleeping for a few days? He has always been optimistic about life and full of confidence in the future, so why can't he survive it? I don't believe he can survive this. When he was a child, his family was very poor. When there was a strong wind, the lights in the room with bamboo strips could not be lit. He and his family huddled silently in the corner. The next day, they went everywhere to find newspapers to paste on the walls. It rained heavily in the summer, and it rained lightly in the house. He was diligent. He holds pots and pans to catch the rain, never giving up or complaining. He started helping his parents till the fields when he was very young. During the winter leisure time, he went to the mountains and forests to dig bamboo poles and collect firewood. He often said with a smile that as long as a person has a pair of hard-working hands and a fighting heart, no matter how hard the life is, he will not be sad. When he married his eldest sister, there was only one bamboo-walled house leaking from air and rain, so he dug the foundation, mixed the mud and burned the bricks himself, and built a brick-and-tile house next to the dilapidated bamboo-walled house with his hard-working hands. . Later, he followed his fellow villagers to various coal mines in Datong, Shanxi, and construction sites in Quanzhou, Fujian. He used his strong body and unyielding fighting spirit to replace the bamboo-walled house into a small building, and also purchased a color TV, a refrigerator, and a washing machine. In 2006, a commercial house was purchased in the county town. The eldest brother-in-law, who has traveled far and wide and gone through many hardships, seems to have already developed an indestructible body. How could he not survive? I don't believe what my niece said anyway.
The bus was speeding on the highway, and I thought of my eldest brother-in-law's cheerful and kind style of dealing with others. When I was in high school, my family couldn't afford the tuition, so my eldest sister went to the village committee to help me get a loan. The cashier of the village committee felt that the eldest brother-in-law was poor and unwilling to borrow money. The eldest brother-in-law said, you are afraid that I will not be able to repay the loan, are you also afraid that the young people will not be able to repay the loan? Don't bully the poor rather than the young! The cashier hesitantly loaned 120 yuan. In the 1980s, this was such a huge sum of money that it took my eldest brother-in-law four years to pay it back. It was that "huge sum of money" that allowed me to enter the campus and gain priceless knowledge, thus walking out of the mountains. A few years ago, the eldest brother's daughter was admitted to a key county middle school. The eldest brother had financial difficulties and did not allow his niece to study in the county. When the eldest brother-in-law heard about it, he immediately gave 400 yuan to his niece and promised to subsidize tuition and fees every year in the future. Now, the promise has not been fulfilled. With his always enthusiastic and generous character, he has to overcome this difficulty and fulfill his promise.
Thinking back on the eldest brother-in-law’s strength and benevolence all the way, the car quickly arrived in Jiangyou. Not caring about eating, we went straight to the hospital to discuss with the intensive care unit doctor. Doctors say that brain death is actually death. I asked the doctor why he didn't perform surgery? The doctor also explained that due to intracranial high pressure, if the cranial cavity is opened, substances will spurt out, and eventually death will occur. I thought this was an excuse for the small county doctor's lack of medical skills, so I strongly requested to contact a brain specialist from West China Hospital for consultation. The doctor said that the CT scans had been sent to West China Hospital for consultation. I still don’t believe that my eldest brother-in-law will pass away like this, because he once firmly told us that he would create more wealth to make his family’s life better. He also said that he would always support his daughter to finish college, and also let us The 80-year-old mother is dying.
He seemed to have a passion and strength flowing like a mountain spring, and he was full of infinite love for life, family and neighbors. How could he just die like this?
I immediately contacted the brain surgery experts at the First Affiliated Hospital of Chongqing Medical University privately and sent my elder brother-in-law’s brain CT images. As long as the Chongqing experts said there was a glimmer of hope, I would do it no matter what the cost. Let everyone work out a solution together. However, the Chongqing expert's words "may be life-threatening" completely dashed our hopes. At that moment, I deeply felt the despair of being unable to recover. Everyone burst into tears on the corridor of the hospital. My niece cried loudly: Doctor, please save my dad. As long as he survives, even if he becomes a vegetative state, we are willing to serve him for the rest of his life... My eldest sister has long since cried dry tears, like a puppet. Sitting there blankly, blankly watching us going about our business.
I insisted on going to the construction site where my eldest brother-in-law had an accident. When we went to the sand yard, a worker pointed to the four- to five-meter-high workbench and told me that he fell from there. When he fell, the back of his head hit the ground and hit a stone, causing intracranial bleeding. I stood in front of the workbench, tears streaming down my face. Why did he accidentally forget to wear a safety helmet that afternoon?
We have to accept the fact that the eldest brother-in-law has left. Amid the cry of his niece, the eldest brother-in-law returned to his hometown in the countryside from thousands of miles away. The coffin was parked in the brick house he built with hard work and fatigue. The portrait was a photo taken by his co-workers with their mobile phones after he finished work. The young man His face is full of energy.
The eldest brother-in-law’s life is forever fixed at the age of 52.
The eldest brother-in-law is gone, gone forever. Whenever I think about never seeing him again or hearing his hearty voice, my heart feels like a knife. Qingming Festival is here again, and in the pattering spring rain, I can only wish my elder brother-in-law to continue to live a brave, strong, warm and kind life in another world.
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