No matter what it actually looks like, people will ultimately understand the world from a perspective that is more inclined to their own subjectivity. In other words, people cannot exclude their own subjective feelings and thoughts. No matter what we do or say, some part of ourselves is actually present in it. As the saying goes, it is attitude. The so-called attitude is the comprehensive expression of unconsciousness. Those things that make up our subjective thoughts and feelings can be called representations formed after unconscious promotion.
Things related to sadomasochism are actually closer to the libido state. What is the libido state? It's more like a child who doesn't know anything. Well, we all know that the sin that maximizes human nature is ignorance. This part of sadomasochism is directly related to that part of our own humanity, the evil of ignorance. The evil of ignorance is the most terrifying, it has no lower limit, and it is unknown to oneself.
The objects and painful interactions that caused him to have sexual fantasies are related to key subjective meanings. When the subject is obsessed with something, it means that in that place, it has some experiences that are related to his own history as the core of "who I am". Behind some of our characteristics and things that we obviously love, there is more or less a trauma that acts as the center of the circle, unconsciously pushing people to constantly fill in the blanks to compensate, trying to make up for those past deficiencies.
There is no way to avoid the existence of "Shi Fang" in our lives. The imprint of obedience exists in our spiritual world, we just need to see in what form it appears, or in what way it affects us. We may be aware of some of these influences, but most of them are unconscious.
Obviously, no matter who is missing from the abuser or the abused party, they are not enough to be the abuser or the abused party. They must rely on each other's existence, whether the other party's sadistic orders to him, or the other party's obedience to him, to confirm their identity and position. And this part, from a human perspective, is closely related to our identification of who we are.
Generally speaking, if this child is often mentally abused, he may have several options: One is to subtly become the person who abuses him. Agree with him and feel that what he does is reasonable, imitate him, and become him. The purpose is to maintain that love, because the child loves him, so the child agrees with his ways and rewrites the abuse into love, thereby accepting the corresponding interaction pattern. The child here will not take his pain seriously. This kind of love is sacrificing his own world to match the world of the person he loves. Because the child equates abuse with love, he thinks abuse is love, so he treats other people in an abusive way to love them.
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The feeling caused by you noticing that something of value is affected by you, this feeling is the sense of presence. Self-awareness is also a form of presence.
From an evolutionary perspective, any human feeling originates from the regulation of other cells by the nervous system. Like microorganisms or lower animals, the nervous system's regulation of the body has two purposes. One is to allow various organs to operate in a coordinated manner. 2. Allow individuals to survive as much as possible and reproduce.
Existence actually includes two aspects, namely material existence and spiritual existence. The former shows that people can appear in entities and carry out corresponding practical activities; the latter shows that people have a rich spiritual world and have outstanding imagination and strong consciousness.
The so-called sense of existence is actually only a level of spiritual demand, not material filling. Many people emphasize the abundance of material life, but because no one notices them, they lack a sense of existence.
The lack of a sense of existence reflects the emptiness and loneliness of the spiritual world. Most people will not think about such issues. We often hear that "the sense of presence is created by brushing it off." That is to say, lonely people are eager to do some extraordinary things or actions to attract the attention of others in order to gain the so-called sense of presence.
The purpose of talking about sadomasochism is not just to let us know the reasons for certain possibilities. It is more about letting us know how we choose to enjoy the pain in our lives, while at the same time putting ourselves in a passive position to avoid taking responsibility. Sadism is in the bones, and it can be seen everywhere. Adults' sadomasochistic games are not completely passive, but mostly active cooperation.
The first nurturer is a mother. Such an unconscious image, characteristics, sounds, feelings, etc. are written in the unconscious. And those writings have a relational effect on us.
Before we learn to speak, in our sense perceptions: eyes, ears, mouth, nose, tongue, heart, skin. At that time we could only use these to feel what form the other party was in. What is written in the unconscious at this time, we will use the body to express it. After you learn to speak, you will find that describing the feelings you had at this time cannot be fully expressed in words. We cannot use what we have learned in the present to express what we have experienced in the past. When we use the present to describe the past, we are separated from both the present and the past.
So when we grow up, we may be able to realize certain events that have happened and mark them with words. This kind of effort is not just to blame what you have experienced in the past, but to create a channel for the present to connect to the past, so as to mark yourself in the present. If you don't connect this part, there may be some physical manifestations. The most direct way to receive a mark on the body is to present it physically.
Because the mother gives birth to this child, relatively speaking, this is innate and there is no way, that is, she will have a closer connection with the child than the father. After all, they were born from the mother's belly. They were pregnant for ten months. There was an umbilical cord connecting them to each other. The two people were really in a state of being separated from one body. In fact, even after you are born, the connection between you and your mother still exists unconsciously. Because of its degree of connection and sensitivity, it is also very clear and sensitive. If some mother has a lot of hatred in her unconsciousness, this mother is not aware of these parts. Then the child will involuntarily make up for the lack of that part of the mother, or do something for her. Because the unconscious state appears as a direct manifestation of action and somatization on the original connection. As for the unconscious, it is always impossible to be "completely conscious".
If he only satisfies himself for a long time, he will lack a lot of processes. Over time, his inner world will also become relatively deficient.
Originally, it needs the confirmation from the outside world to withdraw and be self-sufficient. Under such circumstances, it is indeed quite fun at first, but after a long time, one person only has so many resources! Your own power is limited, what you know alone is also limited, your own experience, your own experience, etc. are all limited... If you play with yourself like this for a long time, it will be like playing with yourself if you continue to do so. Lock yourself in a secret room. There is only so much oxygen in the secret room! If only carbon dioxide is left after breathing, you will die. And this death process is caused by one's own choice to close oneself up. The process of gradually decreasing oxygen corresponds to the gradual evolution of depression. At first, there is just something wrong with the mood. Over time, there is a feeling of suffocation coming over the face. In severe cases, one may want to kill himself.
The way we treat life and the people around us is an extension of our attitude towards ourselves. In a self-sufficient state, the following defense methods are often used. The first is projection. He takes things about himself, such as the fact that he dislikes the other person, as the other person dislikes him. He believes this to be true and refuses to get along with this person. The second type: split. Only good and bad things can be seen as right and wrong, and more possibilities in the middle are ignored. You play the right and wrong parts respectively, and you are at war with yourself. The third type: idealization. Only look at the good parts of things and replace reality with your own imagination. The fourth type: Empty and destroy. When you are not what I want, I will erase you from my world.
The stimulation brought by objects that have given him this kind of emotional response is strong and huge. Therefore, ordinary stimulation cannot make him feel satisfied. Certain experiences in the past taught him to use sadistic behavior to obtain this kind of satisfaction. In sadistic and masochistic relationships, S and M are more integrated and integrated with each other. S's satisfaction is brought about by M's reaction, and so is M's satisfaction. The pursuit of pain and intense stimulation brings satisfaction that is more inclined to primitive drives. The tendency to satisfy the original drive indicates the inner conflict of the personality structure. It is this conflict that uses sadomasochism to maintain the balance within the subject, but at its core there are some key unconscious factors of the individual that are driving it forward.
The kind of sadomasochism that is more inclined to primitiveness, the one-dimensional fusion is more about self-masochism on the spiritual level, and the dualistic relationship is more about playing with each other between relationships. Sadomasochistic games. It needs to be emphasized again that the sadomasochistic game is more like a transitional game from integration to differentiation. It is indeed painful. While it is painful, it also provides "nutrition" in the safest way for the individual (subject). . A sadomasochistic relationship is better than no relationship at all. The role of relationships is to open up the individual’s (subject’s) interest in exploring the world. Therefore, sadomasochism also provides its role in protecting the subject from internal collapse in the face of strong shocks.
Under the physical illness, what is suppressed are the traces of mental abuse. Not allowing myself to voice those heavy feelings, not allowing myself to express aggression or resistance after feeling attacked, enduring the attacks of mental abuse and not being aware of those attacks. No matter what the disease is, it actually indicates imbalance and abuse.
When the water is full, it overflows, and when the moon is full, it wanes. Whether it is a physical disease or a mental illness, the disease that eventually turns into a disease is just the result of the last drop of water overflowing and being seen. It mainly reminds the client of their neglect and care for themselves, their neglect and avoidance, and their suppression of their own emotions, feelings and body perceptions. As mentioned earlier, our life power is limited. Instead of using it on yourself, you use it elsewhere. People, things, and things elsewhere occupy the driving force of your life. It can also be said that what physical illness reminds us is actually a state of being deeply occupied in the unconscious.
Temperament is an expression of a person's overall sense, and Qi seems to be difficult to see directly, or even difficult to quantify directly.
Therefore, when a person has a problem in a certain part, or a physical disease, what we can see is only a local change, and what contributes to the local change is also a change in the overall pattern. The body and the spirit are also two sides of one body, and they are each other's exterior and interior. What is the soul, what is the body shape.