Will you feel inferior in front of the object you like?

The protagonist of today's story is Teacher Zhang. Yes, that's Mr. Zhang, who appeared five times in my next move in # years. I want to establish a close relationship with him.

The Dragon Boat Festival was suddenly cancelled. This is our 1 trip together. Ha, ha, ha. Are you happy? Are you still a little excited to think about it? He arranged a trip at the right time. Compared with the idiot in my life, I feel a lot less flustered along the way. Everything is going on in an orderly way within the stipulated time. During this time, I will also put forward my own needs, and he will accompany me to "play the fool". Are you happy to see this? Why did you suddenly cry?

Although we used to hurt each other and make up, this time teacher Zhang's two words made me suddenly realize the importance of things.

1, the cost of compromise is too high, and it seems that you have been accommodating you all the time, and there is nowhere to accommodate you, which is quite tiring;

2. I like independent and mature women.

These two sentences made me start to reflect, and suddenly "inferiority complex" came out, and a long-standing emotion broke out.

Yes, what did I do for Mr. Zhang? I seem to be in a state of asking him for help all the time. I'll ask him for advice when I meet a knot that I can't solve. He is an important external force for my self-healing.

Speaking of independence and maturity, I went to Zhihu for a definition, because I found that we have different understandings of many words and different expression habits. Because the word "simplicity" is considered brainless, we once doubted ourselves and felt "inferiority" in front of him+1, hahaha.

What is independence and maturity? Answer from Zhihu: You have your own personality and thoughts, and you won't depend on others for everything. True independence means that you can meet the material life of the real world economically and meet the spiritual needs ideologically. When one day you can be relied on by others, you will naturally find yourself mature and independent.

Like I'm not like this. I don't want to depend on others for anything. I want to have a person standing beside me like a big tree. At present, I haven't become the dependence of others (except my jiaozi, hahaha), so is it because of this that I feel "inferior" in front of Teacher Zhang? And this temporary "powerlessness" makes you suddenly cry?

In fact, for me, the most important keywords of 202 1 are: accept myself, accept my commonness, accept my bad habits, accept my immature parts, accept my slowness ... So in interpersonal relationships, I try to open myself up and be myself, hoping to screen out people who are attracted to each other in this way, provided that I will accept such me and grow up together.

Back to independence and maturity, my understanding may be different.

Independence: Have the ability to think independently, and train your readers' reading ability through critical thinking. What do you care about now? What does the other party want him to believe? How do you prove yourself right? What is a fact and what is an opinion; I think only in this way can we find our ultimate vision, instead of blindly following the trend, blindly optimistic, and finally over-consuming.

Maturity: Being an emotionally mature person, you can tell what you can control and what you can't. At present, the only thing we can control and change is ourselves, not others or the external environment.

Therefore, under such cognition, I also try to open myself as truly as possible in the relationship between the two sexes, express my real needs, have no sense of shame, deliberately practice my ability to deal with problems, and have a certain emotional maturity.

But what happened at this moment? Maybe being good is good for you, but it has nothing to do with you. Am I too complacent? Fate hasn't arrived yet, and there is a feeling of being broken up before it starts. Sad is sad, but I am much stronger than I thought. When I think that this is also a process of exercising myself, I think of the qualities that attract me: gentle personality, patience, willingness to train younger generations, dedication to work, rigorous and logical thinking, and charming thinking ... God, I suddenly found it a bit too much, hahaha, I accepted that everything I met was an extra gain and an experience. Everything that happens will definitely help me and treat everyone around me with gratitude. Now I may not bring him a high sense of value, not that I am not good enough, but a problem of value matching. After accepting this, I will say to my inner child: It doesn't matter, you are fine, you are getting stronger.

Then why are you crying? Feeling hurt? Perhaps it is an emotional release of the powerlessness of the current relationship with Teacher Zhang.

On the subway, in the waiting room and on the high-speed rail, there is no beauty of the little fairy crying at all. Tears are relaxing for me at the moment, and life will continue tomorrow after crying.

In fact, I know that a woman's independence and maturity is a chicken soup, but it is very difficult to implement, just like a silkworm is going to turn into a butterfly. There is no plan to attack the bridge. Just like iron, you can only tear your muscles day after day, then repair them again and become stronger. This is my stupid way of growing up. Stupid, but it works for me.

For me, growing up is a process of repeatedly knowing myself, realizing that I am inferior to others, that I will be looked down upon, that I am not a genius, that I come from an ordinary family, that I am ordinary, and that I don't have such strength for the time being ... but recognizing it again and again will not make me accept my fate, and then I will love myself more seriously and grow into a better myself.

The future can be expected, Miya?

# Read a hundred books a year

Reader+1: Teacher Zhang

Reading+1: the first trip with teacher Zhang