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Dance with Pain: Don't let pain lead you by the nose.
When my mother was 70 years old, she began to complain about bladder pain. We didn't care at first, and we said it many times. We sent her to a hospital near her home for cystoscopy, but she was healthy. However, my mother's talk about bladder pain didn't stop. We have come to the conclusion that it is the pain she imagined to win more attention from her family. Nevertheless, she cried more often, and we rushed her to the hospital, from Xinhua Hospital in the east to Huashan Hospital in the west. In just one and a half years, my mother had six cystoscopy examinations, and the results were just like the first diagnosis: very healthy.

There is a huge gap between my mother's subjective feelings and the scientific diagnosis of hospital instruments, which makes us at a loss. Over the years, our mentality has been plagued by my mother's complaints, and we can't find the key to save my mother's heart disease. Then I came across this book "Dancing with Pain-Psychotherapy for Chronic Pain". I can't think of a book that is only 236 pages thick, which has given my mother the cause of bladder pain that she can't find for a long time.

Margaret Caudill is an American doctor of medicine, doctor of philosophy, master of public health, a famous pain management expert and physician. This expert who has been devoted to improving the lives of patients with chronic diseases through psychosomatic therapy for 30 years has actually suffered from chronic pain in the process of engaging in this medical research and helping patients with research results. I have rarely heard of such a case, that is, the doctor who leads the treatment and the patient suffer from the same disease. Because of this, dancing with pain is more credible, and the so-called misery loves company.

Although this book tells us from the beginning that pain can be controlled, as far as my experience is concerned, it is more logical to read the second chapter of this book, Understanding Pain, and then learn how to control pain by dancing with pain.

So, why do we get hurt? Margaret Caudill, the author of this book, believes that pain has physiological, psychological, behavioral, cognitive, spiritual and cultural significance. Combining these six meanings to explain what pain is, Margaret Caudill gave the answer that pain is an extremely complicated reaction process of the body. The pain signal is not a one-way signal sent to the brain, it is even more complicated than a two-way signal. In fact, pain signals may be blocked, amplified or weakened before reaching the brain. After reaching the brain, the pain signal is transmitted to the neural network, which is influenced by genes, decision-making systems, stress systems, cognitive and emotional information, memory and other sensory inputs (such as vision). The end result is to make us aware of pain-what a complicated branch and process human perception of pain is! If I want to help my mother learn to control pain, I must know whether my mother's pain comes from genes, stress or cognitive or emotional pain defined in the book, so I will continue to learn from "acute pain" to "chronic pain" and then to "chronic pain experience" (this section can be called the genius of this book, because the author himself is a chronic pain patient, so the description in this paragraph is particularly true), "Pain. I gradually understand what pain is: when strong pain signals keep pouring into the spinal cord and brain, some amazing changes usually take place in the spinal cord area where pain signals are processed and modified, which will be amplified, diffused and sustained. In other words, although my mother's bladder has no organic lesions, her physical pain is a real feeling. Just because the cause of the pain is unknown, her anxiety deepens day by day, so that the pain pouring into the spinal cord and brain is getting worse and worse.

Why do you feel more and more painful? So, where is the source of pain? The psychological knowledge I am learning is helpful to me and my psychological theory. Depression sometimes reacts to limb pain. So, can mom's bladder pain be caused by depression? We resolutely gave up the treatment of urinary incontinence and transferred to the mental health center. Sure enough, my mother got depression.

Now that the reason is found, I go back to the first chapter of this book, "Controlling Pain".

In the chapter of "Controlling Pain", Margaret Caudill introduced some effective methods in guiding patients to use and using themselves, namely, facing pain squarely, identifying problems, using a pain diary and learning to set goals.

"Automatic thinking mode will affect the individual's physical and mental health, coping ability, and even affect the pain adjustment ability", which is a golden sentence used to wake up the dreamer in the book. After experiencing bladder pain for 10 times, "My bladder is sick" became my mother's automatic thinking mode, which destroyed my mother's coping ability and produced the effect of making her involuntarily amplify the pain. How to change automatic thinking mode into active thinking mode? Margaret Caudill believes that changing 12 kinds of thinking errors can change the thinking mode of patients. So, what are the 12 thinking mistakes? Either/or, disastrous, ignoring or denying the positive side, emotional reasoning, labeling, zooming in and out, psychological filtering, measuring people's hearts, generalizing allergies, self-blaming, "should, must" sentence pattern, narrow vision. To tell the truth, when I read Dancing with Pain here, I was surprised: Isn't this what our psychology teacher teaches in class? Why when we face the same thing, some people can face it calmly, and some people will panic? That's the fault caused by attribution. People who are prone to psychological deviation often adopt the above 12 wrong thinking modes when facing unexpected events.

12 kinds of thinking mistakes that can lead to psychological problems. If we tell my mother according to the script, she will definitely not understand. Then, Margaret Caudill's method of relieving pain in Dancing with Pain will not help my mother. However, once I turn them into my keys to solve my mother's problems, these 12 keys can help my mother escape the pain temporarily as long as they are used properly.

Aren't I studying psychology? According to Margaret Caudill's method, I helped my mother get rid of the physical pain caused by depression again and again, and at the same time accepted her point of view that physical illness and mental illness are good friends who love each other and kill each other, and the thinking mode can affect the individual's adjustment to their own pain, so I am very much looking forward to entering the next chapter, that is, The Power of Mind.

In my opinion, Margaret Caudill, who has more than 30 years of clinical experience, should have very rich cases. In fact, there are indeed many cases listed in Dancing with Pain. These cases with strong stories and good curative effect can be completely exaggerated by the author. The result of this will not only enhance the readability of this book, but also make it thicker, thus making Dancing with Pain more academic. Margaret Caudill insists that the case serves the truth. In the chapter "The Power of Mentality", the examples are still wonderful and the narrative is still mild, which makes the truth that the author wants to explain in this chapter have a desperate effect-many chronic pains cannot be released slowly, all because the patient's mentality is not good.

Margaret Caudill has a heart. She not only pointed out the essence of the problem, but also told us the effective methods to solve it. Like my mother, because anger was ignored by her family, she induced physical pain caused by depression. Margaret Caudill thinks there are several ways to help alleviate this situation.

First, the four steps leading to forgiveness: telling the hurt experience (through communication, mom can reach an understanding with us because she wants us to pay attention to her instead of calling us when she is in pain) and evaluating the hurt experience (if we spend more time with her, will mom's pain be alleviated or disappeared? My mother thought for a moment and nodded in agreement), forgiveness (telling my mother that my brother and I both have our own jobs and families, and we can spend more time with her, but if we are not with her, she will forgive us and we can't leave) and rebuilding the relationship or letting go (letting go, an old man like my mother can't do it. We must make an appointment with her. My brother and I spend one day with her every week. If the pain doesn't break out within a week, we'll take her out shopping, go to the park together, or go to the movies together. However, I can't let go. In the years to come, we will be with her until the end of our lives. In this way, we will help our mother to establish a positive attitude according to the requirements of dancing with pain. Stress-resistance, optimism, affection and helpfulness are four signs of Margaret Caudill's positive attitude. I'm afraid it's impossible for my mother to enhance her ability to resist pressure. * * * Family? It is also an unacceptable concept for her. We can only help her to work harder on optimism and help others, give her more company and give her more things within her power. Can I say a result? After only one month of working with Margaret Caudill's Dancing with Pain, my whole family felt that it was easier and happier to get along with my mother than before.

Dancing with Pain-Psychotherapy for Chronic Pain consists of 10 chapters, and the style of each chapter is quite similar: finding out the source of the disease, pointing out the pathology, giving solutions and solving problems. To tell the truth, I have never read such a practical book before, because it is a book that teaches us how to solve chronic pain. As it happens, my mother is also a chronic pain patient, so I managed to get this book at the first time. At first, I led my mother and Margaret Deco to overcome chronic pain with a try attitude, that is, I told her what her pain was in acceptable words, and then I told her how to control the pain with Margaret Deco's method, especially after she made a simple pain diary according to our requirements. No, it should be according to Margaret Deco's method. We are delighted to see that my mother can progress from being entangled in pain to being able to look at her pain calmly, that is, telling us in her pain diary that she somehow disappeared while recording the pain. Isn't this the first self-healing effect that Margaret Ducorps expected? Having fun, we began to follow Dancing with Pain step by step. Of course, there are also repetitions. For example, we have helped my mother enter the third chapter of Dancing with Pain, that is, when she learned to use diaphragm breathing to relieve pain, she suddenly told us that she didn't believe that her bladder was diseased, and she was in pain because of bladder lesions. We lied to her with a book instead of taking her to the doctor to take medicine. At this time, we are not discouraged. When her mood stabilizes, we will continue to explain to her what her pain is. As long as she follows our rhythm, her pain symptoms will definitely improve. Again and again, we are not afraid, as long as my mother can do it with Margaret Ducorps with the help of our hunger.

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