If you quarrel with your husband and anger your children, you will definitely regret it in your heart. After scolding and spanking the child, I felt particularly uncomfortable. However, the next time this happens, I will still beat and scold the child for various reasons.
I have done this before. I won't do this now, because it's too unfair to the children.
Children don’t know how to resist when they are young, but when they grow up, they will have a shadow in their hearts. It even affects children's mate selection and marriage.
So what should you do if you encounter such a situation again?
When you are angry, treat your child as someone else's child, and you will not hit him or scold him easily.
Why do you spank your own children but not others’ children?
Because my child is my own, and I am disciplining him (although you are actually taking it out on me!), I can scold him. This is what many people think. Hitting other people's children has serious consequences! If I hit him, would his parents hit me? Will the relationship between the two families change? Will people look down on me?
In short, the price to pay for spanking one's own children is small, but the price to pay for spanking other people's children is high. Even spanking one's own children is said to be in the name of love, and it is a right thing to do!
If you understand this level. If you spank your child, you will pay a price in the future. The price will be very high, so you will not spank your child.
This is my opinion, do you agree? If you have any questions, you can leave a comment below.
I always like to emphasize a concept
The person who loves you the most in the world is the one who gave birth to you and the person who gave birth to you. They are all lovers whose blood is thicker than water, to put it bluntly. It’s just someone who has had a life-long friendship
As a person who suddenly appears in the trajectory of life, this aspect of a husband may not be comparable to the above. Some people will say that without a husband, where would the children come from, but this is the core, after all, children Men are not born in ten months of pregnancy.
In this age of exaggeration, if you cannot control your behavior well, then besides the innocent and implicated children, the next person who will be harmed will be yourself, < /p>
A child is weak and unable to resist, but every move you make to him will be remembered in his weak heart. Maybe when he grows up, he will become a person that he hates
Try to avoid your own anger. Quarrel does not solve the problem but makes it worse. Especially hurtful in the hearts of children. If something has already happened, the couple should calm down and have a good talk. After reconciliation, try to apologize to each other in front of the children. In this way, the children will feel that the parents are reasonable and have a positive impact on the children.
First of all, it is wrong to make children angry because of quarrels. No matter why you are quarreling, it may be family matters, or it may be an issue of child rearing and education. This is just a conflict between you. Don't take your anger out on your children just because of conflicts, let your children become your punching bag or punching bag, or say some sarcastic and annoying words in front of your children. This will only make you feel guilty afterwards and make your children feel indifferent, which is not conducive to family harmony and the healthy growth of your children.
Secondly, when you realize that you have acted to anger your children after a quarrel, it proves that you have realized the inappropriateness of this approach. In this case, when you have a quarrel, you can first have a quiet time alone and choose other self-relief methods to reduce your inner anger to a low point. Then try to stay calm when facing your children and don't talk about the quarrel. In this way, you not only control yourself, but also provide your children with the correct way to handle things.
In fact, it is easy to say but difficult to do. The key is practice, reflection and persistence. It is not easy to be a family, it is not easy to live as a couple, and it is even more difficult to be a parent. I hope to communicate well and cherish life.
Adler once said: "Fortunate people spend their whole lives being cured by their childhood; unfortunate people spend their whole lives curing their childhood."
In childhood, family is everything to a child. All children's behaviors are influenced by their parents.
Being born into a good family is equivalent to starting with a good hand. If you are unfortunate enough to be born into a bad family, how much impact will it have on your child?
In the book "Original Family", a case is introduced in detail, which answers this question very well.
The case of Gordon, a thirty-eight-year-old successful plastic surgeon. His wife left him because of his bad temper. As a last resort, he came to Dr. Susan Forward for help. During the conversation, Gordon said that his father was an excellent cardiologist, but when describing his father, Gordon looked very uneasy.
Susan discovered this detail and continued to ask. Gordon painfully told about his childhood experience. Because of small problems such as "forgetting to do housework" and "achievement below average", he was often criticized. The father beat him severely. The back, legs, arms, hands and buttocks were all spared.
When he grew up, Gordon still felt that his father was great. He was beaten when he was a child because he did not do well enough. But there was anger hidden deep in his heart, but under the shackles of worshiping his father, he did not dare to get angry at his father, so he had to endure it and hide his anger.
After doing this for a long time, his heart was like a volcano. Once the pressure from the outside world is too great, he will become angry at the people around him.
And Gordon's wife, the person closest to him, has become his punching bag invisibly.
It can be seen from Dr. Gurdon’s story that childhood experiences do have a great impact on a person. Dr. Gordon, who seemed successful, was beaten severely by his father because of his childhood. There is anger hidden in his heart. When he cannot control this anger, he will take it out on others. The wife who is closest to him has become his punching bag invisibly.
Gordon does not seem to be like his father, who beat his family members to vent his anger. But he just used another way to beat his family members through verbal abuse and sarcasm. It still deeply hurts the family.
The core of countless vicious incidents in our society is anger, that is, venting one's dissatisfaction on others at will, and oneself has become what everyone calls a "garbage person."
This case made me understand that the Chinese proverb "nothing can be achieved without fighting" is wrong. In order to vent your anger, it is wrong to hurt your family and the people around you.
Don’t blame your family because of your anger. Cherish every moment you spend with your children growing up, and don’t be a “toxic” parent.
The child didn’t bother you first, and he didn’t mess with you secondly. Why do you do that! He is also an individual! He will also be affected by your emotions, and he will have inner shadows when he grows up. Only by adjusting your own mentality, what your child needs is a happy environment! And a sweet home!
After a fight with your husband, you will definitely be very angry. If your child is disobedient at this time, your anger will reach an explosive level in an instant. Noisy or spanked your child, although you will vent your anger, it will cause too much psychological trauma to the child and will have an impact on the child's character.
Therefore, you must not take it out on your child. Although you may feel happy for a while, it will be very detrimental to the child's character growth and you will regret it to death!
Try to exercise restraint. After all, children are innocent. Adult matters are best resolved between adults. There will inevitably be bumps and bumps in life. Try not to argue in front of the child, otherwise his young heart will be traumatized.