I really feel deeply about "giving and returning". I am ashamed to say that after so many years, I feel that only one person has received the same response to my efforts. Frankly speaking, I can even say that this only friend makes me feel that my efforts have received more than I should. She is my primary school classmate, and she was alienated for some time because of some things, but it is precisely because she overcame the psychological burden and got close to me again without paying anything to her. She is a girl who doesn't want to owe anyone anything. You treat her well, and she will repay you well. When I was in special difficulties, her careless words saved me. I really appreciate that she has been quietly giving me strength in the days when I particularly need support and encouragement.
As far as personal immaturity is concerned, I think "giving and returning" is not limited to friends, parents and children, couples, brothers and sisters. It should be said that people pay attention to "giving and returning".
I don't need to elaborate on the "giving and returning" between friends. I believe this concept is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. Everyone thinks it's natural for friends to do this, and both sides feel it. But there is a premise for the establishment of this condition, that is, both sides really want to be friends with each other for a long time, rather than throwing them away when they are used up. For example, the heroine of the idol drama "Fate loves me" wholeheartedly does good deeds for every colleague and tries her best to "solve problems" for every colleague. Without exception, she is affectionately called "post-it girl" by everyone, and her contempt is beyond words. At this time, all you want is to please others maliciously, while others enjoy your kindness with peace of mind. Is "post-it girl" really malicious? If it is a mistake to really want to have new friends and integrate into the new environment, then she is really wrong.
What about parents and children? I believe that many friends who are children have experienced the following scenes: Parents blurted out "It's useless to raise you!" Whether it is rashness in anger or banter in leisure, it profoundly shows that everything should be done for children in order to repay their parents' parenting. However, the contract between parents and children is unequal from the beginning. That is, parents unilaterally decide to give birth to a child and raise it, without obtaining the consent of the child in advance. If the child has a choice from the beginning, cruelly speaking, maybe TA doesn't want to choose your parents. When parents scold their children for being worthless and losing face, have you ever thought that some children have been in Rome from the beginning because of their parents, and your children may never get to Rome? Of course, the following passage, I think, is the best explanation of parents' meaning to children: "The meaning of parents' existence is not to give children a comfortable and rich life, but when you think of your parents, your heart will be full of strength and warmth, giving you the courage and ability to overcome difficulties, so as to gain real life fun and freedom. "
What about the "pay and return" between husband and wife?
I realize that many married female friends will complain that their husbands pay too little and they pay too much. I was particularly impressed by the words of one of the girls. She had a son with her first child, but she joked more with sadness and helplessness: "I feel that I have two sons!" " Are women really as greedy as men say? It is true that men do bear higher requirements and standards than women in society because of their gender, and the pressure will be great. However, what about women now? Is life really easy without stress? Too many female friends around me have to take care of the elderly and children at home for three meals a day, and have to go out to work to earn money to supplement their families. There is pressure from the boss in the workplace, and pressure from parents-in-law and children's upbringing in the family. What these female friends complain about is that their husbands find it particularly hard to earn money outside to support their families. When they get home, they just sit quietly on the sofa, regardless of whether the child is crying or not, and concentrate on enjoying their free time. At this moment, women as wives are busy preparing meals, taking care of children, washing dishes after meals and helping children with their homework. As a husband, when his wife needs a hand to lighten some burdens, he is absent again and again. When the "pay and return" is seriously out of balance, in the face of his wife's hysterical complaints, the husband's usual trick is "I have paid so much for you, why don't you know how to be content and grateful?" Send, let the wife struggle in the emotional whirlpool alone. Many women, in order to take care of their families, have sacrificed their careers and devoted themselves to being a good wife and mother. They have lost their economic independence and may face the degradation of their personal dignity. It was reported in the news before that a woman gave up her career with an annual salary of one million for her husband and was tutoring her children. In the end, she had no income, and shyly asked her husband for money to buy women's products needed during her menstrual period, but she was mercilessly ridiculed and insulted by her husband. This situation can't help but make people feel embarrassed.
Finally, talk about the "giving and returning" between brothers and sisters.
It is often heard that parents educate their children. If you are a sister, you should call your brother. TA is too young to be sensible, so you should TAke care of ta more. When did youth become a privilege to get asylum? Of course, there are indeed many younger brothers (sisters) who take turns to take care of their older sisters (younger brothers). A former female colleague joked that she felt depressed because she was overwhelmed by everything in her husband's family. However, at this moment, her two brothers still do not forget to "greet" her from time to time. Today they asked for two or three hundred, and in two days they asked for another one or two hundred. In fact, she was already in financial difficulties, so she chose to agree to her brother's request. Who told her they were brothers and sisters?
A drop in the ocean, it is true that these are only one-sided, and there are many exceptions. For example, some people feel that they have paid a lot and want to know why the other party has been complaining that they don't know the return. Maybe this is the difference between the three views. Maybe what you pay is not exactly what the other person needs.
In short, it is undoubtedly necessary to pay attention to "giving and returning" if you want a healthy, stable and sustainable relationship.