Since the program "Gold Medal Mediation" was broadcast on Jiangxi Satellite TV, the chief counselor of Jianhe Psychological Counseling Center was deeply impressed by the personality charm of the mediator. Men have expressed their desire to learn from Mr. Hu Jianyun, and some netizens even asked Mr. Hu Jianyun to introduce some related books on the Internet, so that he can quickly become an excellent and attractive man. As a woman, I am glad to see this phenomenon of learning from Mr. Hu Jianyun in the society. I believe that if there is one more man in the world who learns from Mr Hu Jianyun, there will be one more happy woman. My husband is also an excellent psychological counselor, and his personality is not far from that of Mr. Hu Jianyun, but I am still willing to think with men about how to become a top man like Mr. Hu Jianyun, a gold medal mediator. Some netizens thought of studying first, that's for sure. To be a knowledgeable and tasteful person, a certain degree is necessary. I read Mr. Hu Jianyun's resume. He has a master's degree. Seeing this, maybe 80% of men will drum in their hearts and feel that this first one is not qualified. Personally, I think people below master's degree should not be discouraged. Diploma is not equal to grade. It is said that Mr. Hua, a famous mathematician, has only a junior high school diploma and is still admired and loved by the people all over the country. No matter you only have a junior college degree, or you are unfortunate enough to drop out of primary school, as long as you can study hard in your spare time and make progress every day, there is no threshold in the temple of knowledge, and you can swim in the sea without limits. As the saying goes, "there are poetry books in my stomach to make me look good"! As long as you read more books, your manners and temperament will naturally shine. The second point I think is to understand the law. I don't know if Mr. Hu Jianyun has studied law, but Mr. Hu Jianyun's analysis and judgment of the facts at the gold medal mediation scene is based on the law, fair and convincing. In modern society, some men don't study law and don't know how to protect themselves and safeguard their rights by law. They only believe in fists and think that violence can conquer everything. A man brandishes his fist in the family to create domestic violence, a group of men brandish knives and sticks in the streets to create social chaos, and a country or an army fires guns to create war. Since ancient times, many men have paid blood and even precious lives for these struggles. Unfortunately, this world is not a natural battlefield, and this society is not a legendary underworld. Comrade Yao Jiaxin proved to us with personal experience that killing people costs their lives, and people who don't know the law and abide by it have no future. The man who waved his fist paid a heavy price, but he didn't get the dignity and status he wanted. On the contrary, they are gentle people like Mr. Hu Jianyun, vaguely revealing a majestic and inviolable force. He used the weapon of law to help the weak protect their legitimate rights and interests and safeguard social fairness and justice. Such a man is truly powerful and deserves the respect of the whole society. The third is to learn ethics. Mr Hu Jianyun is a master of ethics. He always hits the nail on the head when analyzing family problems. Many problems in the family are caused by some people's ignorance of family ethics. When it comes to family ethics, many people will think of ancient monarchs and fathers, and their husbands respect their wives and feel disdainful. There are many unreasonable and even inhuman aspects in the ethical code of feudal society in China, which makes us modern people have a headache when we think of the word ethical code, and think it is the dross of feudal society. Therefore, parents in modern families ignore their children's ethical education. In fact, ethics is a profound and practical knowledge of real life. In the family, if the elders are orderly, respect the old and love the young, the father is kind to the son, and the husband and wife love each other, there will be no big problem in this family. On the contrary, if everyone in the family is selfish, parents don't help educate their children, the younger generation doesn't respect their elders, and husband and wife don't trust and care for each other, the family is in ruins. If a man can respect his parents, educate his children and love his wife, he will certainly be able to run a very happy and harmonious family, and he will also be sincerely respected and loved by his parents, wife and children. The fourth is to learn to speak. Speaking is an art, as the saying goes, "A good word is warm in three winters, and a bad word is cold in June". Mr Hu Jianyun's mediation was very successful, because he made good use of the art of language. Friends who often watch Gold Medal Mediation know that Mr. Hu Jianyun successfully mediated disputes, but Mr. Hu Jianyun never called names. I remember a husband who wanted to keep his wife because she was leaving him, so he constantly threatened to hit her, trying to make her afraid to leave him again. I remember Mr. Hu Jianyun asked her husband, "You have been threatening your wife and beating her like this. Do you think you did this ... "At that time, I thought he would say," Are you doing the right thing? " Or "Is it legal for you to do this?" To my surprise, he asked, "Do you think this is effective?" This sentence suddenly shocked my husband. The husband has always acted on instinct, and he never thought about whether what he did was helpful or harmful to the purpose he wanted to achieve. From this sentence, the gentleman began to reflect on his way of dealing with problems, and he finally began to feel that he might have made many mistakes. The genius of Mr. Hu Jianyun is that he doesn't have to tell his husband what he did wrong, but let him think about his own problems. Instead of telling him directly: "It is wrong for you to hit a woman. Don't hit her again. " "If you hit her, you will break the law and you will be arrested and imprisoned." Hu Jianyun's method is much more effective. Because he didn't look at the problem from the public's point of view, nor from the victim's point of view, but from the perpetrator's own point of view. He asked the abuser, "After you hit her, is she closer or farther away from you?" "Did you achieve your goal?" This makes the abuser see clearly that what he did not only caused great harm to his wife, but also was very unfavorable to himself. So he quickly admitted his mistake and decided to win back his wife's heart in a new way. As ordinary people, we don't all need to be gold medal mediators, but we will inevitably encounter many problems in our lives and need to solve them with the art of language. For example, the famous mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China have a tense relationship, which I believe every married man has to face. As a gold medal mediator in the family, it is a man's responsibility to mediate his wife and mother into good friends and relatives, and also to create a good family environment for himself. Mediation of this family problem, men, a happy life is close to you! These are some suggestions that I give to people who want to be like Hu Jianyun as a woman. Mr Hu Jianyun is a broad and profound living textbook. It takes a long time to become a person like Mr. Hu Jianyun. But I believe that as long as a man experiences with his heart and practices constantly in life, he will certainly become a smart, witty, humorous, responsible, liked and trusted man.