You know, people's appreciation of beauty varies widely. A person can always show his unique beauty in different ways. Sometimes you don't know the beauty you have, and sometimes what you think is not beautiful will be considered beautiful by others. Psychologists have made an important discovery: some pessimistic and depressed people, even if they are beautiful, will think that they know nothing, and they are timid in social life and work, so it is difficult to give full play to their strengths. And an optimistic and cheerful person will not put his looks above everything else. Even if he is ugly, he often establishes a good self-feeling: "I am ok!" " "Because our cultural concept is to love beauty, good self-awareness is conducive to the formation of positive psychology and can increase confidence in life.
Look at an interesting experiment by an American psychologist! An American surgeon is famous for his facial plastic surgery. Many ugly people who have undergone plastic surgery by him have become handsome men and beautiful women. However, to his surprise, some people who underwent surgery complained to him that they were still not beautiful after plastic surgery and still felt their faces were the same. The doctor was very upset about it, but he missed the point. A psychologist said to him, "Beauty and ugliness lie not only in a person's original appearance, but also in how he views himself." But the surgeon is still confused. He believes that ugliness is ugliness and beauty is beauty, and it will not become beauty because of people's psychological function. The psychologist persuaded him with an experiment. He asked the doctor to choose an ugly girl from a class of college students, who was almost stupid and the least likable. Later, the psychologist asked the students to abandon prejudice and treat her kindly and enthusiastically. In the following days, the students also tried to do as the scholars asked, and they decided that she was a beautiful and intelligent girl. In less than a year, a miracle appeared, and the girl's manners were completely different; She is no longer inferior, inferior, inferior and self-loving, but shows nobility and elegance everywhere. Several boys in the class really pursue her. In fact, she is still her, not a different person. However, in her body, it shows the beauty that everyone has, and this kind of beauty will only appear when you believe in yourself and everyone around you believes in you and loves you. The psychologist's experiment was successful and the surgeon was convinced. He realized: why don't people who have plastic surgery think they are beautiful? That's because they have no self-confidence and feel ugly. From then on, he not only trimmed other people's faces, but also trimmed other people's psychology. Sure enough, everyone who was facelift by him felt that he had become beautiful since then.
Second, we should look at the advantages through the disadvantages.
Many features that you or others classify as unattractive actually have their unique strengths and advantages. You are good at recognizing this, and your confidence will be more lasting and reliable.
Take the inconspicuous feature of short stature as an example. The Persian poet Sadi wrote: "Although you despise my smallness, don't think that the big one is a warrior. If it is time to charge, the thin horse is far more valuable than the fat cow. " Being short is a weakness when you need to touch high and take things, but it is an advantage in other occasions. Since you are born with this "short" figure, you should cherish yourself and look for advantages. A sociologist abroad once investigated 305 successful people, and the results showed that only 13% of them were taller than 1.82 meters, and the rest were of medium and small stature, which at least proved that short people were not inferior to tall people in intelligence and talent. Therefore, tall people need not be proud, and short people need not be discouraged. In the arena of life, everyone has a place to struggle. The key is to correctly understand the advantages of their own disadvantages, so as to motivate themselves to show the wisdom and perseverance of warriors.
Third, we should fully explore the "source of beauty".
Beauty is brought by the heart. As long as we pay attention to inner cultivation, we will get beauty. Francis Bacon put it well: "Beauty in form is better than beauty in color." The beauty of mind is precious beauty and the source of appearance beauty. People are cute not because they are beautiful, but because they are cute. A beautiful face only gives people a feeling of beauty, but temperament and inner beauty can be as charming as spring breeze and winter sunshine.
Fourth, we should use the results of study and work to influence others' attention.
This often happens in life. If your academic and work achievements are average, more people will comment on your ugly appearance. And when you make outstanding achievements in your study and work, others' attention will be attracted, as if you have "forgotten" your appearance. This is because you study hard, work hard, win people's respect, and at the same time you will inevitably have more self-esteem. Psychologists have found that many people with mediocre looks are more praised by the public, and this victory is long-term and reliable. Only those who have no real talent and knowledge in appearance will lose their appearance with age and will only be laughed at!
In addition to the above aspects, cultivating a sense of humor is also a good way to deal with the prejudice of judging people by their appearances. No matter how ugly you are, you can talk to people quickly and friendly through humor.
Of course, people who are not beautiful should also pay more attention to the finishing of their appearance, such as wearing appropriate clothes and choosing appropriate hairstyles and decorations to make up for the lack of appearance.