A good psychological counseling state of a psychological counselor is: patience, speaking for listening, listening and understanding, concentration, curiosity, calmness, constant understanding, good response, cherish, pause, accept silence and let go of assumptions.
1. Patience: It is not easy to be patient with customers when consulting, because when consulting, especially when consulting for the new time, we will be anxious, worried that we can't solve the problem of the case, worried that the visitors' questions are unclear, unable to find the answer, and unable to accompany the visitors patiently. When we see the significance and value of patience to the work of consultants, we will feel particularly powerful.
2. Say it for listening: We can only say it after listening and tell others. More importantly, we can listen well. We should listen carefully in the dialogue. Speaking is not the purpose, the purpose is to be able to listen. Listening to others is a valuable thinking, emphasizing the importance of listening, emphasizing that it is only a process, and how to listen well is important.
3. Listening and understanding: We can all listen, and it takes practice to really understand. If there is an opportunity, ask the visitor: Do I understand you? Do you think I understand you? These ideas are also very important in consultation and life. Do we understand when listening to our partner, because understanding will make the other person feel understood, and listening to the child will make the child feel understood. Sometimes listening is very important in life. We want to be understood and learn to understand others. The key is to listen to others, understand what others are saying, and it is also important to listen to yourself. If we have the opportunity to listen to ourselves, we may be able to understand others better. If we can't hear ourselves, how can we understand what others are saying? There are many aspects of listening, which can be considered and pondered.
4. Focus: Every life is very important. We need to listen, pay attention and talk to him. When a person can be cared for with heart, he will be different. Our life is getting busier and busier, and it is not easy to work long hours. If we want to be different consultants, to achieve this state of concentration, we should take good care of ourselves and find ways to make ourselves sleep well, have a good rest, have fun and eat well, and our bodies need to be nourished. If we don't even have a chance to love ourselves, how can we care about others? Concentration requires conditions. If we take good care of ourselves, we can pay more attention to others, accompany others and care about others. Concentration can happen in our relationship, and the people who are concerned will say that they are particularly valuable, their hearts will be warm, and they will especially want to talk. Let's take care of ourselves first. After taking care of ourselves, we will be with our family, friends, people who work for us and tourists. It's not selfish to care about yourself. We can do more by caring about ourselves. We can care about more people and influence more people. In our culture, it is also said that it is really important to cultivate one's morality, keep the family in order, govern the country and level the world. Without self-cultivation, other things are difficult to do.
Curiosity is an important factor. I believe that everyone is an expert in his own life. Maybe tourists won't know the answer right away. As long as we label and morbid with curious conversations, we believe that they will think and have ideas. In this curious dialogue, visitors will feel that they are possible, hopeful and powerful. Curiosity is an important factor.
6. Calm down: When the counselor says that his life is difficult, we should treat him calmly, stay with him calmly and understand him. We are not afraid, we are not in a hurry, we are not anxious, and we believe that people will bring new possibilities as long as they speak well. Some visitors will respond, and they will be very stable, calm and not afraid if the counselor does not frown or worry. The calmness of psychological counselors will make visitors feel at ease and safe, say whatever they need to say, and let visitors have more space to get close to themselves. If we don't calm down, the visitor will be more anxious and worried when he sees our worries and anxieties.
7. Keep understanding: In the interview, even if we have a lot of understanding, don't think that we really understand it. With humility, we will continue to learn more and never feel that we already know. This is a very humble process, but also a very curious process. As a consultant or a person, if we feel that we have understood, we will stop being curious and understand more. It is very important to keep understanding. A person should learn to understand other family members, get close to them and see what he doesn't understand, instead of saying, I understand you. This is for continuous learning. Today I am different from yesterday, and tomorrow I am different from today. We should be very humble to believe that people are constantly changing, people's thoughts are constantly advancing, and we should constantly understand them. When we judge others easily, we block the space where people can explore and think. Consultation can be understood humbled. People who walk in front of us are either bumpy, systematic or organized, because continuous understanding can open up the space for conversation.
8. Respond well: Respond well to narrative consultation, and then respond to the other party after listening to it: What did you hear? Let the other person know that you cherish listening to him and let the other person see that you are responding to him. Too many conversations are not responding. We all want others to listen to me and respond well after listening. A good response is to care about the process of walking back and forth inside. Consultation is the main content of the dialogue. How to have a good conversation in a relationship is bound to have a response. No response is not a dialogue, but a one-sided talk. Responding to children, parents, partners and friends, I think this relationship is particularly different. You can think about how you responded in the consultation. Post-modern consultation needs learning, cognition, practice and practice, and slowly see if you have responded well to your family and yourself.
Teacher Wu Xixuan's message:
Sleep well, drink plenty of water, eat well, play well and take care of yourself.