The words written in front—

When I came back from the Qingming holiday, my mother said that I was haggard and asked me with a distressed face if I had a bad rest and ate fruit. Grandma cooks all kinds of delicious soup for me every day; Dad earnestly advised me that life in Shanghai is too stressful, so it is better to go back to my hometown to work and live after graduation, which is both comfortable and decent. I was lying comfortably in the big bed at home, thinking what they said was true. Isn't being happy in this life just to live well? Where is warmer than home, so that you can avoid touching blood?

I didn't bring my book when I went back, and I was idle until the third grade. I have no choice. I bought a high-speed rail ticket early in the morning and went back to Shanghai, waving at my worried family behind me. I'm going back.

Until now, I can't forget the scene when I came to Shanghai to participate in the independent enrollment of Jiaotong University in senior three. At that time, I was sitting in the back seat of the car, listening to songs with headphones on, and watching the neon lights and the endless traffic outside the window. This is the first time I have seen this city so closely and felt its real breath and pulse. At that moment, I was inexplicably at a loss-I wanted to stay.

Yes, I want to stay in a big city. Of course, I can't sum it up in dreams. Few people talk about dreams now. This is not chicken soup, but I want to share my experience and temperament in Shanghai for more than three years, the people around me and the city.

A while ago, I went to my sister's house to get the postgraduate materials. My sister is a reporter, graduated from Fudan University, and has been involved in the whole financial circle in Shanghai. Friends often take photos with various successful people, which is a "god-like existence" in my heart.

My sister said that she is a very introverted little girl who reads and writes in her own small place every day and is determined to become a famous writer. The first days were as quiet and quiet as she imagined. She makes a cup of tea, reads books and earns money to write every day. She can also support herself and be happy inside. But suddenly one day, she found that she couldn't write when she was writing. The thoughts, feelings and emotions of the characters in the book are fluctuating, which she can't understand and produce * * *. After a period of confusion, my sister found that some experiences were not in books and she had to go out to meet people. To know people, you must jump out of your own small circle and choose a bigger circle.

Later, she chose to be a reporter. During the interview, she met many interesting people, some ambitious, some gentle and beautiful, some step by step, some stumbling. At first, my sister will be indignant because she interviewed a big-name arrogant person, and she will be full of frustration because the interviewee accused her of being unprofessional. Over time, my sister will be relieved. It is precisely because of the promotion of these people that my sister has matured step by step and moved towards today's position.

It is precisely because big cities provide more choices that more and more people of all kinds gather here. You can feel a different life, be inspired at any time, and be alert at any time. It can make you feel the same way and feel deeply relieved.

Really, the whole world has become bigger. You see countless other possibilities, except the one that happened to you; You have seen countless forms of existence, except the one you think is unfair to you; What you see is the world except yourself. There are many people who are worse than you who live proudly, and there are many people who are better than you who work hard for a better life.

In a big city, you will see thousands of people and let you know what it's like to be a better person.

two

I used to envy such a girl: born with a golden spoon, sweet sunshine, a comfortable job and an excellent and enterprising husband. I didn't hear her story until recently.

Her name is Xiaoke, and I went to high school together. At that time, she was very famous. Now her name is Bai. Her father is a well-known local entrepreneur. He loves his daughter very much and doesn't want her to leave. When applying for the college entrance examination, he asked her to enter the local university and go home once a week.

By mistake, she met a graduate student from a top 985 school. The boy is very good, the chairman of the graduate student association, and got the offer from three companies in advance. That was the happiest time I have ever seen her. Instead of going home at the weekend, she took the high-speed train to Beijing for several hours. Sometimes she doesn't attend classes at all and stays in Beijing for a week before coming back. I asked Xiaoke what he likes about you. She looked sweet: "He said that he likes my simplicity and youth, without the pride and fatigue of working hard for girls in big cities." At that time, my heart thumped and I didn't speak again.

Recently broke up, the boy found a girl who struggled with him in a big city. She is not as beautiful as Xiaoke and her family is not as good as her. When the boy broke up, he admitted that the new girl had done four jobs in the university and spent all her spare time in the library with him, so that they could smile at each other when they mentioned which book was in which position in the library. This is a tacit understanding.

Xiaoke cried and told me that the boy was love rat, and he also cheated her. Yes, this boy is really a love rat, and I agree with him. However, falling in love with people with high IQ is indeed an art, and they care more about getting better growth in a relationship. If he can't get any fresh nutrients, but he is constantly excluded and can't get anything to grow, love will naturally die.

For most people, your parents in your hometown are not enough to support you to survive in a big city, which will make you weaned and become independent. So leave your parents' shelter and work hard in big cities, and you will have more opportunities and earn more money. This has nothing to do with money worship, but your confidence, your confidence and your freedom. It's not just love that makes you take it easy when you lose something. Because you have seen a bigger world, you will have it.

three

Tell me about myself.

When I was in junior high school, I was isolated by small groups in my class for a while. At that time, holding a group was a very popular thing. Being isolated means you have to eat by yourself, go to school by yourself, and even talk by yourself. This is a great blow to a girl who has just entered adolescence.

To put it bluntly, it is loneliness. This is the first time in my life that I have experienced loneliness. Later, under the guidance of my mother countless times, I was able to get better.

When I went to college, I found that loneliness can become a normal state. Even, many people around me are more lonely than me. They are alone, shuttling through classrooms, canteens, and laboratories, and arranging a person's time full every day.

I chatted with a senior at PricewaterhouseCoopers some time ago. He said that Shanghai is really a lonely city. When you are around your parents, you can always meet friends and relatives, play mahjong and play poker. There are countless ways to get rid of it. In the vast Shanghai, two hours by subway, there is no desire to catch up.

He said that loneliness comes from leisure. He is very busy at work every day, only sleeps for 4 hours, and arranges himself to be full, so there is no so-called small mood at all. I am convinced.

I worked as an intern in Shanghai TV station some time ago. Sometimes I work late, and it is completely dark when I walk on the road. Looking at the lights of the building, I thought that even if I took the subway back to school for more than an hour, there was no light for me. I feel that the city is really cruel and desolate.

But what this city has taught me is that all struggles are lonely. What I want to do is to shrink my lonely mood infinitely. I no longer pin my hopes on telling others like a junior high school student, but read more books, do more things and walk more.

The pressure in big cities is really great, and we are more likely to be lonely. In the darkness and loneliness around you, let yourself stretch out and grow crazy.

four

Not long ago, I discussed the value of life with a WeChat friend. He is a very ambitious man and often laughs at my friend's show of watching movies and eating. One day, he finally couldn't help it and sent me a long joke, meaning that he couldn't understand why a person can spend so much time eating and drinking every day if he is self-motivated, and where he has time to broaden his horizons. Not convinced, I told him that life is to enjoy life, and people live to be happy and eat, drink and be merry in time.

I was hacked when I finished.

Until today, on the subway, I heard an employee of a state-owned enterprise chatting with others. It is said that an hour's work of state-owned enterprises can drag on for a week, and security guards punch in and out. The boss is embarrassed to show up every morning. Drinking tea and chatting at work is particularly comfortable. Speaking of her female best friend in a foreign company, she shook her head disdainfully. "She will be born and die every day. What is the use of taking 650,000 a year? " I don't want to live this hard life. "

At that moment, I suddenly felt that I was a female employee of that state-owned enterprise. When I despised other people's lives, I never asked myself if I could get them.

So I decided to use the inexhaustible resources of big cities to broaden my horizons.

My favorite writer, Sister Xue, wrote this sentence: Experience is not climbing every mountain. I chose to lie on the lawn, but I understand why you want to climb.

So climb the mountain first.

Written at the end—

I have to complain about air pollution, noise pollution and the subway that kills people. My cousin Nana often tells me-don't stay in Shanghai, don't you know that you are more likely to get depression! Don't you know that you will grow old soon! Don't you know that the life expectancy of people in big cities is shorter!

I still remember this sentence-people will die twice, the first time when you stop breathing, and the second time when the last person in the world remembers you stops breathing.

So anyway, everyone will die for the first time, and I don't want to die for the second time anyway.