1. Wedolia: My surname is Wei, and my mother named me Wedolia.

Meng Fei: Your mother is very knowledgeable. What does your mother do?

Vedoria: My mother. . . What do you think?

Meng Fei (bending over and laughing): How can I guess? Give me 20 minutes.

2. A certain male guest was wearing sunglasses, a peaked cap, and a plaid jacket, and his back was turned to everyone in the elevator. Being attacked by a group of girls:

Yang Wenjun: He always licks his upper lips with his tongue, which looks disgusting. His clothes have no characteristics. May I ask, which part of your clothes do you want to highlight? Is it your hat, sunglasses, top, pants or shoes?

Hu Yuanjun: His image is like a thief and gangster in old Shanghai< /p>

Mano: Just go down directly

pS: A typical woman who judges books by their appearance!

3. To the divorced man:

Wu Xiao: You are thirty years old, but the clothes you wear make you look like you are thirteen years old. Your clothes are cheap clothes. You Disrespectful to us

pS: It hurts your self-esteem!

4. To the man who donated blood:

Hu Yuanjun: Your clothes seem to be from the 30th century. You should wait until the 30th century to find a wife.

pS: Making fun of blood donors for ratings! ~

5. Yan Yingying: People wearing glasses are very wretched

pS: Have you watched too many Japanese love action movies?

6. Meng Fei: There are only a few lights left now.

Vedoria, may I ask, why is your light still on? What's your impression of him?

Vedoria: I'm sorry, I didn't have time to extinguish it just now. Can I extinguish it now?

Meng Fei: Sure, you haven’t answered my question yet.

Vedoria: Oh, what’s the question, I forgot.

pS:. . . . . . . . . . . . Speechless

7. Male guest: Do you like riding a bicycle and shopping with me?

Mano answered without hesitation: I prefer crying in a BMW.

pS: What a classic! ! ! !

8. There is a male guest who is a location host, and he wants to show how good his eloquence is.

Mano: "Listening to what you said, I felt that you deserved to be whipped, so I went to find a whip..."

pS: Go play J8SM

9 , saw an ordinary-looking man appear on the stage,

The female guest described: "Seeing you, I feel that my coming to the show is just a game and a dream, and now it's time to wake up from the dream."

pS: Don’t look at how much you weigh

10. Girls boldly reveal “I love collecting thongs” and then ask boys bluntly: “Is your family rich?”

The boy directly announced, "My family owns a business and has three houses in Shanghai."

pS: I also have three bungalows in our village

11. A very handsome male guest said that he had had seven or eight girlfriends.

Mano then said: "It's not as much as my fraction!" If You Are the One line

Qin Fen: Aren't you making trouble? I posted a matrimonial advertisement.

Blind date (played by Feng Yuanzheng): Your advertisement did not say that men are exempt from dating.

Ge You: Isn’t that nonsense? I'm not gay. Are you...

Blind Date: I am. How do you know you're not? I used to think that I wasn't, but later I realized that I didn't dare to face it.

Qin Fen: Can I still find a man? I'm not gay.

Blind Date: How do you know that you are not? I used to think that I was not. You dare not face it, you do not have the courage.

Qin Fen: You took the first step, I haven’t reached that state yet.

Qin Fen: I also reflect on why I am so vulgar and have such a big heart. Why can’t I fit in a man and make room for a woman? Guess what, another woman fills it in!

Shu Qi: Do you know what love at first sight is?

Qin Fen: I fell in love with you as soon as I saw you.

Shu Qi: We two can’t fall in love even after we meet. Love at first sight is not about you falling in love with me or me falling in love with you at first sight, it’s not about sight, it’s about smell. We are attracted and fascinated by each other’s scent, do you understand?

Qin Fen: Then I have to pay. He took advantage of me and asked me to drink with the resentful woman. You are too arrogant to me.

Qin Fen: Want to barge in the door? How to get to your house?

Blind date (played by Luo Haiqiong): First take a plane to Kunming, then take a day's long-distance bus to Mengzi, then take a car to Pingbian, then take a day's tractor ride, and a day's oxcart ride to reach us. Home.

Qin Fen: If we are not good, can we get divorced?

Blind Date: My brother will break your legs.

Qin Fen: Are you unwilling to find someone in good health? I have to find a soft persimmon to pinch.

Blind date (played by Che Xiao): Only soft persimmons are delicious.

Qin Fen: You are as sick as a young man, so you are not worried about the quality of your marriage? Your age, let me put it bluntly, is the age where you are like a wolf and a tiger.

Blind Date: Do you think the basis of love is sex? Nothing happened? You can still grow old together, of course I mean not at all, but don't do it too often.

Qin Fen: Then how long do you think intimacy is considered too frequent?

Blind Date: This is my ideal.

Qin Fen: You said?

Blind date: (holds out a finger)

Qin Fen: Once a month?

Blind Date: Once a year.

Blind date: If you agree, we will continue to contact you.

Qin Fen: I don’t agree. I understand why your husband doesn’t come home. We are getting married and you can’t find where I live. What a pity.

The blind date pondered for a long time and asked: "Is that so interesting?"

After a while, Ge You replied softly: "Yes!"

Blind Date (Viv Hsu): Didn’t you say you don’t care whether the child is your biological child?

Qin Fen: I can approve of orphans, but having both parents is another matter. It might not be appropriate to put a Mercedes-Benz logo on the front of a BMW.

Blind date: Is it okay if you can open it?

Qin Fen: But what if something breaks down, the Mercedes-Benz parts are not suitable, and BMW doesn’t care to repair it? When it comes to marrying a wife and having children, I'd better be self-reliant and not accept any foreign aid!

Qin Fen: If you bought it at a low price like me, are you prepared to hold it for a long time? Or just for short-term fun?

Hu Ke: Short-term fun? Do you have that explosive power? You can only hold it for a long time and then forget it.

Qin Fen: I think marriage proposal is a very unreliable thing for me. I don’t like people who are crooked and cracked, but the only thing that looks pleasing to the eye is not sex. Coldness means having hidden agendas and clean mental health histories. Where are all the girls? Why can’t I meet any of them?

Shu Qi: Don’t beat around the bush and curse, who is mentally unhealthy? Do you have a clean history?

Qin Fen: I didn’t say anything about you. You are not a good-looking person.

Shu Qi: ...

Qin Fen: To use the word "pleasing" is to underestimate you. You have to be the kind of person who is stunningly beautiful, can catch a glimpse of people in the crowd, and is not inferior to Diana even if you marry into the royal family. For some people, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it is not too much to say that beauty is in the eyes of the enemy.

Qin Fen: You are here with me, but your heart is elsewhere...

Shu Qi: You don't have to accept it, I know it's unfair to you.

Qin Fen: Then can you allow me to let my body wander sometimes while my heart is with you?

Shu Qi: Not allowed.

Shu Qi: What do you like about me?

Qin Fen: Did I say I like you?

Shu Qi: Be honest, this is the prerequisite for us to be together in the future.

Qin Fen: The prerequisite for me to be with you is that I can’t find anyone who is stupider than you before.

Shu Qi: I will never be so stupid again.

Qin Fen: You, you don’t have the ability to think half-heartedly, and you don’t even know how to act when the situation arises. It’s all written on your face. I put this here, you haven't turned over this page yet, but once you turn over to a new page, you will still be wholehearted. That's why I tolerate your current behavior. You are stupid, I am not stupid.

Shu Qi: What if I learned the lesson and became smarter? Your wishful thinking soon came to nothing?

Qin Fen: Well, I will sell you to the natives of Hokkaido tomorrow, and let you serve them for fishing and hunting all your life, giving birth to a lot of children, coming and going in the wind and rain, and not having enough to eat. , your clothes are not covering your body, and you want to run away, you will be beaten severely when you are caught, and in three years you will be tortured into a dark, skinny, dry little old lady who hides from everyone.

Qin Fen: Is there anything I can’t miss? If you don't take me seriously, I'll take advantage of you as a gift.

Qin Fen: Once he gives you his heart, your body will be sentenced to life imprisonment.

Wu Sang (Qin Fen’s friend): You just like people who look good.

Qin Fen: What’s wrong with being good-looking? What’s wrong with me improving the descendants of our Qin family? Do you have to meet an ugly person and think about how to escape from prison every day to feel comfortable?

Qin Fen: Are you sure he doesn’t understand Chinese?

Friend Qin Fen: OK.

Qin Fen: Well, let’s start with our childhood... Qin Fen confessed for 4 hours, and the pastor couldn’t stand it anymore.

Pastor: Our church is too small to accommodate his sins. There is a larger church in front.

Shu Qi: Oh, how pitiful! The gap between what I thought and what I actually saw was huge. Do you want me to find a psychiatrist for you?

Qin Fen: No doctor can heal my spiritual trauma, you are my best medicine.

Shu Qi: Aren’t you afraid that I am poison?

Qin Fen: You have to drink the poison!

Qin Fen: The four sisters are three hundred years old in total. How can we not despair? If You Are the One Wonderful Quotations

1. Life is short, and I am willing to make mistakes with you. --Qin Fen proposes to Liang Xiaoxiao

2. You are looking for a relationship, and I am looking for marriage! We both got sidetracked. --Qin Fen summarizes the relationship with Liang Xiaoxiao

3. You haven't caught up with me when I was good... In the past two years, you have been a bit weak. --Qin Fen was exhausted by Liang Xiaoxiao and was in a miserable state.

4. What, the whole Datongpu. If you are alive and surrounded by people, you will still be crowded with people when you are dead. --Li Xiangshan, played by Sun Honglei, is dissatisfied with the cemetery being too crowded

5. Plant me in a flowerpot and I will smile at you every day. --Li Xiangshan asked Qin Fen to plant his ashes in a flower pot

6. Whoever gets emotional is doomed. --Qin Fen learned that Liang Xiaoxiao only had a good impression of him, and said sadly

7. If I had known that he was so cold, he might as well have married that one once a year! At least once a year! --Qin Fen complained about Liang Xiaoxiao

8. Happiness may not be together, but misfortune must be together--Qin Fenyu

9. Life is a practice. --Qin Fenyu

10. This is not a disease, this is fate. My fate has come to me, and I can only obey it. --Li Xiangshan’s reflections after getting cancer.

11. What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is still mine. --What Xiaoxiao said to Qin Fen at the end of the film.

12. Can you swear on money that no matter how rich, healthy, or how much he loves you in the future, you will never be with him again? --What witness Qin Fen asked Mango at the divorce ceremony.

13. Don’t let the business break up, but the friendship. --Congratulations on the divorce ceremony.

14. Living at home is not a matter of sincerity, but a little kindness. --Xiaoxiao blames Qin Fen for always lying and Qin Fen being so quibbley.

15. The royal enjoyment is to serve your feet like your face. --Qin Fen's reflections at the foot bath center.

16. No matter what choice you make in marriage, it is always wrong. A long-term marriage is about making mistakes.

17. We are friends who know each other well and will never change their lives. We can take care of our children but not our wives. --Xiangshan describes his relationship with Qin Fen this way.

18. Fear is like walking at night and knocking on a dark door. You don’t know whether there is a colorful world or an abyss behind the door. You are afraid of missing something. You are afraid that it is not the end but the beginning. --Someone asked Xiangshan if he was afraid of death. Xiangshan replied this way.

19. Death is another kind of existence. Compared with life, life is a kind of incompleteness. --The words of Xiangshan's daughter at her farewell party.

20. Qin Fen talked about the judges of the talent show: "They are pretending to be the upper class. How can there be any upper class? They are all vulgar. These are a bunch of parasites, cheating on food, drink, and beatings." Mangoes on the side Said, "Stop scolding. If you scold me again, you will scold yourself." If You Are the One Funny Quotations

1. Don't break up the friendship but the business.

2. Whoever gets emotional is doomed.

3. Life is a practice.

4. Do you want to open the door upside down? How to get to your house?

5. If we are not good, can we get divorced?

6. What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is still mine.

7. I didn’t say anything about you, you are not a good-looking person.

8. Sometimes being easily deceived is a sign of kindness.

9. Aren’t you making trouble? I posted a matrimonial advertisement.

10. You don’t have to accept it, I know it’s unfair to you.

11. How long do you think intimacy is considered too frequent?

12. You took the first step, but I haven’t reached that state yet.

13. If you agree, we will continue to contact you.

14. Can I still find a man? I'm not gay.

15. Look, do we speak Chinese or English?

16. Life is short, and I am willing to make mistakes with you.

17. The royal enjoyment is to serve your feet like your face.

18. Plant me in a flowerpot and I will smile at you every day.

19. Didn’t you say that you don’t care whether the child is your biological child?

20. Happiness does not necessarily mean being together, but misfortune must be together

21. Be honest, this is the prerequisite for us to be together in the future.

22. I have never seen anyone more courageous than you.

23. I can’t tell anyone. I feel so uncomfortable and feel so wronged.

24. It is very difficult to find a partner for that flute, and Zhu Zhenfang is imitating Sister Feng.

25. We are friends who know each other well and will never change their lives. We can support our children but not our wives.

26. Isn’t that nonsense? I'm not gay. Are you

27. The four sisters are 300 years old in total. How can they not despair?

28. Okay, deal! A million is a million. I'm talking about pounds.

29. Living at home is not a matter of sincerity, but a little kindness.

30. No matter what choice you make in marriage, it is always wrong. A long-term marriage is about making mistakes.

31. Are you unwilling to find someone with a good body? I have to find a soft persimmon to pinch.

32. You have not caught up with my good times in the past two years, so you are a bit weak.

33. If you want to be confident, work hard to make money instead of studying flowers, birds, fish and insects.

34. When your ability is not great enough, you will pay a heavy price for being arrogant too early.

35. Once he gives you his heart, your body will be sentenced to life imprisonment.

36. If you don’t completely clarify the pain of the past, you will always live in an atmosphere of depression.

37. When you reach my age, you may find that you gain weight even if you drink cold water.

38. This is not a disease, this is fate. My fate comes to me, and I can only obey it.

39. The prerequisite for me to be with you is that I can’t find anyone who is stupider than you before.

40. You are looking for a relationship, I am looking for a marriage! We both got sidetracked.

41. Are you a reserved person? You have more shoes than the President of the Philippines.

42. Can you allow me to let my body wander sometimes when my heart is with you?

43. Death is another kind of existence. Compared with life, life is a kind of incompleteness.

44. Short-term fun? Do you have that explosive power? You can only hold it for a long time and then forget it.

45. No doctor can cure my spiritual trauma, you are my best medicine.

46. I also have a car starting with B. I think BYD’s cars are very good and environmentally friendly!

47. What if I learned the lesson and became smarter? Your wishful thinking soon came to nothing? .

48. It would be very scary if you don’t have enough to eat but dream of being a star every day.

49. Don’t beat around the bush and curse people. Who is mentally unhealthy? Do you have a clean history?

50. What, the whole Datongpu. If you are alive and surrounded by people, you will still be crowded with people when you are dead.

51. If I had known that I was so cold, I might as well have married that one once a year! At least once a year!

52. If you bought it at a low price like me, are you prepared to hold it for a long time? Or just for short-term fun?

53. You said that the lover of your dreams is the White Snake. It’s not enough for you to like an ancient person, you have to like someone from a myth.

54. Mano is a person who is very capable of attacking others, and he is also a person who has a strong ability to resist attacks himself.

55. Then I have to pay. He took advantage of me and asked me to drink with the resentful woman. You are too arrogant to me.

56. Our church is too small to accommodate his sins. There is a larger church in front.

57. What am I missing? If you don't take me seriously, I'll take advantage of you as a gift.

58. If you pretend to be the upper class, how can you be upper class? It's all obscene. These are a bunch of parasites, cheating on people by eating, drinking, and beating them.

59. Oh, how pitiful! The gap between what I thought and what I actually saw was huge. Do you want me to find a psychiatrist for you?

60. I don’t agree. I understand why your husband doesn’t come home. We are getting married and you can’t find where I live. What a pity.

61. Cut the nonsense, I’m talking about the Japanese yen. Don't feel like you are losing money. When the economy improves next year, I will sell it at a higher price and share it with you.

62. Can you swear on money that no matter how rich, healthy or loving the other person is in the future, you will never be with him again?

63. You are as sick as a young man, so you are not worried about the quality of your marriage? Your age, let me put it bluntly, is the age where you are like a wolf and a tiger.

64. I can approve of orphans, but having both parents is another matter. It might not be appropriate to put a Mercedes-Benz logo on the front of a BMW.

65. I really can’t hold on anymore. I am very fragile and I have low self-esteem. I will use my body, my spirit, and everything I have to do things that will make you regret.

66. Fear is like walking at night and knocking on a dark door. You don’t know whether there is a colorful world or an abyss behind the door. You are afraid of missing something. You are afraid that it is not the end but the beginning.

67. I am always involved inexplicably. Last time, there was a male guest wearing glasses who was called trivial. He said I also wear glasses, who do you think I recruited?

68. Do you think the basis of love is sex? Nothing happened? You can still grow old together, of course I mean not at all, but don't do it too often.

69. First take a plane to Kunming, then take a day's long-distance bus to Mengzi, then take a car to Pingbian, then take a day's tractor ride, and a day's oxcart ride to our home.

70. I also reflect on why I am so vulgar and have such a big heart. Why can’t I fit in a man and leave a woman? Guess what, another woman fills it in!

71. But what if something breaks down, Mercedes-Benz’s parts are not suitable, and BMW doesn’t care to repair it? When it comes to marrying a wife and having children, I'd better be self-reliant and not accept any foreign aid!

72. If you want to find a handsome guy, don’t come here. If you want to find a wallet, don’t come here. Those with a master’s degree or above are exempt from the discussion. Women entrepreneurs are exempt from the discussion (except for small businessmen and hawkers). It saves us from disappointing each other.

73. We can’t fall in love even if we meet each other three times. Love at first sight is not about you falling in love with me or me falling in love with you at first sight, it’s not about sight, it’s about smell. We are attracted and fascinated by each other’s scent, do you understand?

74. To use the word "pleasing" is to underestimate you. You have to be the kind of person who is stunningly beautiful, can catch a glimpse of people in the crowd, and is not inferior to Diana even if you marry into the royal family. For some people, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it is not too much to say that beauty is in the eyes of the enemy.

75. I think marriage proposal is a very unreliable thing for me. I don’t like those who are crooked and cracked, but anyone who looks good and looks pleasing to the eye is not frigid. Where are all the girls with evil intentions and clean mental health histories? Why can’t I meet any of them?

76. I struggled hard, hoping to save myself from the abyss of despair. I also hoped that kind you and clean Hokkaido would allow me to find the beauty of life. This is my trip. selfishness. But the hateful love has exhausted everything in me. The more I struggle, the more memories tear me down.

77. You, you don’t have the ability to think half-heartedly. You don’t even know how to act when the situation arises. It’s all written on your face. I put this here, you haven't turned over this page yet, but once you turn over to a new page, you will still be wholeheartedly focused. This is why I tolerate your current behavior. You are stupid, I am not stupid.

78. Well, I will sell you to the natives of Hokkaido tomorrow and let you serve them in fishing and hunting for the rest of your life. You will have a lot of children and you will come and go in the wind and rain without enough food. If you try to run away with no clothes on, you will be beaten severely when you are caught. In three years, you will be tortured into a dark, skinny little old lady who hides from everyone.