After all, the value of the Moon Pavilion in the play is not too high. If she chooses to leave her husband, can she find a better husband?
As the saying goes, choose who you are! Yue Ting's education is not high, her height is not high, her figure is not good enough, and her personal image and temperament are not excellent people. Why did she leave her husband?
That is, the moon pavilion is not perfect. As a result, she has been swallowing up at home and has to endure her husband's indifference.
After all, Yue Ting's personal comprehensive state is not very good, which determines that it is difficult for her to meet better contacts and resources. Therefore, after many weighing, Yue Ting chose not to leave her abusive husband! Think about it, is it reasonable?
Therefore, "Ode to Joy 3" tells the audience friends through the scene of Yueting: When you are not good enough, the conditions are not superior enough, and there is no good luck, it is the best choice to live with humiliation! Otherwise, will Yue Ting meet a better husband after divorce?
In reality, there are many such women. And there are many reasons why they can't live without violent husbands.
1. Domestic violence is unpredictable.
. TED has a talk called why victims of domestic violence don't leave. The speaker is a witness to domestic violence. She confided the reason why she didn't leave: at first, she didn't expect the man to have a domestic violence, and she didn't realize that she was being abused.
At the age of 22, the speaker graduated from Harvard University and became a newspaper editor. He has an apartment in new york, and the man he knows is handsome and decent, which is a perfect match for her: he comes from Ivy League and makes a living on Wall Street.
She's confused.
Abused people are usually tempted and confused. The first violent incident is often unprepared.
He did it for the first time five days before the wedding. She was very surprised. At that time, the two fell in love and recognized each other, which was very sweet. Before he apologized, she had helped him find a reason: he must be under too much pressure to do so; He'll be furious. I must have done something wrong.
Like many female victims, they will accept an apology if they find a reason. Abusers are best at deeply repenting, cursing and swearing to soften the woman after starting work.
After being subjected to violence, women who don't want to leave have illusions about the perpetrators, and every time they feel that it is the last time. In fact, once domestic violence begins, it is difficult for the violent party to end it.
2. Relatives make them flinch
Wang Juan is a history teacher in Xianyang. After many violent experiences, she decided to ask for help. She called her family and told her. After hearing this, the family was unusually calm: children should have a complete family, and more persuasion will always be good.
After an abused woman told her family that she had decided to leave her abusive husband, family and friends asked, What did you do? What about the baby? Would you be irresponsible? Only one friend relieved her.
They didn't get enough social support to get rid of domestic violence.
Many abused women have no financial ability, and their livelihood depends on their abusers, who try their best to intimidate and intimidate them not to leave. At the same time, they suffer from physical pain, inner shame and unusual isolation. ...
3. Stockholm signs domestic violence.
The offender is usually also the controller, who holds the fate of the victim. Due to the lack of outside support, the victim may even feel that the abuser's control is better than others' indifference, at least he still cares about me.
Under the internal and external troubles, the victim has a Stockholm sign in his marriage with the abuser: the victim has feelings for the abuser. In the long run, it seems normal for him to hit her, and he will appreciate her caring and attentive. So it's harder to leave.
Prevention, self-help and relief of domestic violence
1. Pay attention to childhood abuse experience
. Prevention of domestic violence is more important than rescue. Although the perpetrators are diverse and unpredictable, there are traces to follow.
For example, Li Yang, the founder of Crazy English, divorced because of domestic violence. Tracing back to childhood, Li Yang was separated from his parents in his early childhood. After returning to his parents, his family education was very strict. He only taught everything once, but he was beaten the second time and tore up the book.
For example, Chris Brown, the American rap king, beat up his girlfriend Rihanna, the pop queen, and Brown was also a victim of violence when he was a child.
A large number of cases have proved that children who were abused in childhood are more likely to become abusers in adulthood.
It may be much more reliable for a woman to know each other's childhood experiences before starting an intimate relationship than to judge whether he is violent only by his appearance.
2. Domestic violence stops at the first time.
. There is a survey in America. As long as proper intervention is made for the first time, 90% families can stop sliding into the abyss. How women face and deal with the first domestic violence is very important.
Thornder is a role model. After the first domestic violence, she gritted her teeth and resolutely left with her children. Although life was extremely difficult, she didn't give up hope. Face injury, bacterial infection almost disfigured. She underwent plastic surgery, went to college, and co-founded face ward with plastic surgeons.
Face ward helps abused women free of charge and provides psychological assistance. There is only one requirement for the donor. After receiving the aid, he should continue to help other victims.
Thornton turned the crisis of life into a turning point for countless victims of domestic violence.
3. Social support rekindles the hope of the abused.
. The international anti-domestic violence organization released a picture to the public to promote anti-domestic violence. There is a picture of a sexy woman lying on her side in the middle, wearing a short skirt and bare limbs. When most people first saw this picture, they just thought it was a sexy model. I didn't find any scars on her limbs at all. Qing Wu, with a huge area and all over his body, is telling his sadness. We turned a blind eye and were misled by her enchanting expression and sexy clothes. Why can't we see the scars? This is the crux of the problem. Only those who have really experienced pain can understand what pain is. People who have never experienced violence often blurt out: why don't you leave him? Why not save yourself? Behind these words lies the most hurtful subtext: Are you responsible for most of this situation?
When we choose not to look at the pain and ask the reason first, the road for victims to save themselves is a little narrower. Because they are not accepted.