1 When courtship is rejected

Lin, female, 22 years old, third-year forestry major. Coming from the Northeast, where his ancestors were all forestry workers, Lin was extremely happy to be able to go to university in the provincial capital. After arriving at school, he studied hard and achieved excellent results. He was rated as one of the top three students in his freshman year. As we grow older, our admiration for the opposite sex increases day by day, and we hope that a prince charming will appear soon. When she expressed her feelings to another boy in her major, she was politely rejected. During the winter vacation, she couldn't help but write another letter to the boy, but he had already left home when he invited his classmates to go back to school with him, so his brother forwarded the letter to the school intact and "expedited" . After the letter arrived at school, his classmates in the same dormitory thought something had happened at home, so they opened the letter. The matter was made public. As soon as the news came out, she, who was originally introverted and melancholy, felt heavier and more conflicted in her heart. For this reason, she was in a trance all day, depressed and could not sleep at night. She felt that she had lost face and had done something embarrassing. thing. When she saw her classmates talking and laughing together, she thought they were making fun of her, so she went up to explain to her classmates, but she couldn't explain herself, which made the whole city uproar. As a result, I often suffer from severe headaches, chest tightness, and my days feel like years. I am unable to concentrate on my studies and eventually have suicidal thoughts. After she finished writing letters to department leaders, parents, and classmates, she took a lot of sleeping pills. Teachers and classmates found out in time and sent him to the school hospital where he was rescued.

Comments: When his courtship was rejected, Xiao Lin felt that his behavior was unworthy of his parents. On the other hand, he felt that his self-esteem was traumatized and he could not hold his head high among his classmates. He developed anxiety, depression, and even committed suicide. Self-harm. In fact, she pursues her own love and bravely speaks her true words to the lover in her heart. This is a manifestation of her bold pursuit of a better life. There is nothing wrong with her and she should not blame herself. However, love is mutual, and everyone has the freedom to love or not to love. Failure to get one person's love does not mean losing the love of all the opposite sex. There are fragrant grasses everywhere at the end of the world, so why worry about others not recognizing you. When Marie Curie was 19 years old, she fell in love with a handsome and wealthy college student. Due to family opposition, the college student was unable to fight, so Marie Curie had to endure the pain of falling out of love. Marie Curie was also in pain at the time, but she immediately controlled her feelings rationally, lost love without losing her ambition, concentrated all her energy on scientific research, and obtained new scientific discoveries, and thus gained new love. .

Case 2: When the breakup has become a fact

Little E, female, 19 years old, a second-year student in a higher vocational college. He said that he had been in great pain for the past month. Sometimes he would hit his head against the wall and even thought about committing suicide, but he finally did not have the courage to do so. During the winter vacation, her boyfriend broke up with her. She could not accept it and felt very sad, helpless, unwilling, and depressed at the same time. She always thinks about the happy time when the two were together in the past, but now faced with his cold, ruthless and decisive attitude, she can't believe that it is true, and always fantasizes that the two can reconcile. I feel very bitter and tired. In the past two days, I feel like I am about to collapse and I can no longer bear it.

Comment: The sadness, pain, despair, melancholy, anxiety, emptiness and other emotions caused by lovelorn hurt the person involved. Falling out of love is one of the most serious psychological setbacks in life. If the negative emotions caused by a broken love are not resolved in time, it will lead to physical and mental illness. Falling out of love is a common frustration in love, and many young people suffer from it. Little E should face reality and accept the fact of breaking up, instead of blindly staying in past memories and reconciliation fantasies; carry out positive self-psychological debugging, such as finding relatives or close friends to talk to, and appropriately transferring emotions to Regarding other people or things, learn to look at problems dialectically; eliminate the trauma of the soul as soon as possible and restore psychological balance and health.

Case 3: Behind the Broken Love

Little D, male, 22 years old, fourth-year engineering student. The student said that when he was studying foreign languages ??outside school, he met a girl from his school. He had a good impression of her and took the initiative to approach her. The girl was a grade above him and was about to graduate. One day in mid-April, he suddenly heard that his grandmother had passed away. He was devastated. He found the girl and told her about living with her grandmother since childhood and the deep maternal love he received from her. After hearing this, the girl was very moved and immediately expressed her intention to make friends with him. He seemed to have grasped a life-saving straw and immediately invested all his feelings in it. In the subsequent interactions, his feelings became deeper and deeper, and he could not miss her for a day or think about it. But after the girl agreed to be friends with him, she regretted it very much and felt that she was not considerate, especially since her father was very opposed to their relationship, so she expressed her intention to end the relationship many times. But he did not agree with the severance of the relationship. He once wrote a letter in blood, saying that he would cut off his fingers and commit suicide. Because he was in extreme mood swings and focused mainly on handling their relationship, he failed three subjects in the final exam. After graduating, the girl was assigned to work locally and said she could only be casual friends with him. Wish he wouldn't bother her anymore and returned all his letters to her. On impulse, he went to the girl's unit and beat her. As a result, the girl and the leader of her unit found the school. He shed tears in public and said he would no longer associate with her.

But in his heart, he still felt that he truly loved her, didn't want to lose her, and couldn't control his feelings. Especially during holidays, I often make phone calls, write letters, and even wait for the girl at her doorstep or on the way to work. He knew that this would only drive her further away from him, and also go against his own principles as a human being, but he couldn't control himself. Seeing that New Year's Day is approaching, it is even harder to control my emotions. I am not only afraid of acting out of control, but also afraid of getting another red light in the exam. Since he has failed eight courses in total, he no longer has a degree. If he has another problem with his graduation project in the last semester, he will not be able to graduate. He felt extremely painful inside and didn't know what to do.

Comment: Little D’s emotional reaction after falling out of love is much stronger than ordinary people and lasts longer. It has been nearly half a year since the girl broke up with him, but he still can't control himself and is very emotional. There are deeper psychological reasons for this. The reason why he didn't want to lose her was because he felt that she was his first true lover and the first time in more than ten years since he left his grandma that he felt loved and cherished. Her love compensated for years of emotional hunger. He is afraid of returning to the previous state and does not want to fail in love, so he always clings to her and hopes to save her. But his approach not only failed to help him get out of emotional entanglements, but actually put himself in a worse situation. Little D should realize his own problems, transfer his energy to study and work, and get out of his inner world. He should not just be immersed in memories of the past and strive to defeat himself.

Case 4: Self-mutilation due to broken love

Little K, male, 20 years old, a third-year student in a higher vocational college. He was in great pain when his girlfriend broke up with him. One day at noon in the classroom, he stamped off a section of his finger with a large kitchen knife that he bought specially. After the incident, he was rushed to the hospital for emergency treatment by his classmates and teachers.

Comments: Faced with the setbacks and blows of a broken love, instead of adopting a positive coping method for self-psychological adjustment, we adopt a negative and destructive way to cope, which not only does not help, but also deepens our self-esteem As well as harm to parents and relatives, it may even cause burden and impact on society. College students should treat broken love rationally, face it positively, treat it correctly, and deal with it calmly, eliminate the trauma of the soul as soon as possible, and maintain psychological balance and health.

Case 5: Campus violence caused by "love rival"

Not long ago, Cui, a third-year student at Peking University School of Medicine, was hacked to death with a sharp weapon. The scene of the incident was teaching in the south area of ??Beijing Millennium Monument Hospital. building. Afterwards, a classmate of the deceased was taken away by the police. It is understood that both of them had pursued the same girl before and had fought over some festivals... Comment: The occurrence of school violence is related to the social and cultural background. The pace of work and life is accelerating, and the overall speed of society is also accelerating. However, people's energy is limited and it is slow to keep up with the pace of society. This makes it easy for people to feel impetuous and want to rush to success all at once. Relatively speaking, the power of social moral constraints is weak. The final accumulation of pressure from all aspects is very destructive. The trigger may be something that seems normal to ordinary people, but to him it is a big deal. Therefore, when he feels that he has been hurt, he instinctively becomes angry and aggressive, but instead of venting in a socially recognized way, he looks for an extreme behavior to vent, which may lead to violence against the person who hurt him.

For teachers and students in schools, it is necessary to strengthen psychological supervision, such as conducting some activities so that people's energy can be transformed through normal channels. If teachers and students have the concept of mental health, they can discover something is wrong with others early and help them alleviate the problem, which may prevent the occurrence of extreme behaviors. Case 16: Homosexuals kill their "boyfriends"

Shenzhen A boy from a university in the city killed another boy with whom he was very close. According to police investigation, the boy and his boyfriend were in a gay relationship, while his boyfriend was bisexual and was in a relationship with another girl. A boy thought that his boyfriend had betrayed him, so he killed his boyfriend in anger, which was a huge mistake that could not be undone!

Comments: Homosexuality, heterosexuality, and bisexuality are considered different sexual orientations. Homosexuals among college students tend to pursue relatively stable emotional and sexual lives. The boy in this case took drastic action after discovering his gay boyfriend's "betrayal", which resulted in bad consequences.