An interviewee described the details of parents' daily life in detail:
For example, when my mother comes home from work, she will send a message to her father in the voice of a special Lori: "Husband, I am so tired, I want to hug." Sometimes my father will look at me shyly and hug my mother.
For example, if my mother wants to eat fruit, she will coquetry: "Husband, I want to eat apples." My dad started peeling.
Although this sometimes makes him a little "unhappy" as single dog, his heart is full of security and happiness.
Every time I see this story of parents' love, I can't help raising my mouth. Children who grow up in such a family always radiate unique light. Sure enough, parents love each other, which is the best parenting.
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Parents love each other and children are confident and tolerant.
Family therapist Satya said that husband and wife are the architects of the family. A loving parent family is like a warm nest, giving children a sense of security.
The novel Miracle Boy, which once topped the bestseller list of children's books in The New York Times for 120 weeks, tells such a story.
Isabel and Nate are college classmates and love each other very much. After marriage, they gave birth to a beautiful and well-behaved daughter, named via. Later, the birth of my son Augie upset everything.
Augie was born with a facial deformity because of a genetic mutation. Despite 27 plastic surgery, his appearance will still scare other children.
The couple didn't give up this special child. In order to take care of Auggie, Isabel gave up her career to tutor her son. In the past eight years, the couple used the gentlest love to let their children face up to their own particularity and tolerate their imperfect selves.
Augie, who is fragile and self-abased, can grow up confidently and healthily because he has a happy family behind him.
In real life, I found that people around me who can frankly say "parents love each other very much" almost all have the same characteristics: self-confidence, tolerance, optimism, sincerity and enthusiasm, and emotional stability.
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Parents love each other and let their children have the ability to love.
Psychologist Nofio said: The kindness of parents is the best gift for children. Because the way parents get along is the entrance for children to get in touch with and understand love and marriage at first.
Parents are the builders of children's romantic consciousness and sexual self. What children observe and experience every day will unconsciously precipitate into their memory and become their future life operation mode.
Whether boys or girls, they will learn how to get along with the opposite sex in their parents' way, because this is the first time they have seen the relationship between the two sexes.
Jiang Yang wrote in Our Qian Yuan that once she and Qian Zhongshu took their daughter to a restaurant for dinner. Daughter Qian Yuan saw a pair of parents at the next table quarreling and said to her parents with emotion:
"I have always felt that the child loved by her parents is very lucky, because she has seen what good feelings are, so she has a keen love for health and then knows how to run in the right direction.
So I am especially grateful to my parents. Because you love each other, I feel like a lucky child. "
Loving parents personally influence their children's family outlook. Qian Yuan grew up with loving parents and learned how to love a person and a family. Although life is rough, her two marriages are very loving.
First marriage, Wang Deyi, a college classmate. The married life of this couple is very happy. Later, after her husband was framed and wronged, she lived a single life for several years.
In the second marriage, Qian Yuan, as the stepmother of two adolescent children, "conquered" the rebellious children with her sincere love.
Every Saturday, Qian Yuan will buy delicious food for the children, in addition to traditional snacks such as cold noodles, good beef and kebabs, as well as western snacks that were rare at that time.
As a professor, Qian Yuan's work is very busy, and he has little time to watch TV. In order not to create a generation gap with the children, Qian Yuan would secretly watch the program introduction of the TV newspaper in advance, and then discuss the plot of the TV series with the children with great interest.
After Qian Yuan's death, her stepdaughter and stepson wrote an article to commemorate her: "Living with my mother Qian Yuan for more than 20 years is the happiest day in our lives."
For children, parents are their mirrors: they will know what their parents are like.
Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang loved each other all their lives, setting an example for their children to love each other in the process of growing up, and making her believe that there are beautiful and long-lasting feelings in this world.
A child has a warm light of love in his heart. No matter what his adult life is like, he knows how to love better.
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Let children see their loving parents
Psychologist Nofio made a survey and found that:
In families with weak husband-wife relationship and strong parent-child relationship, the failure rate of children's marriage is three times that of families with strong husband-wife relationship and weak parent-child relationship;
The psychological problems of their children are five times that of families with strong husband-wife relationship and weak parent-child relationship.
The relationship between husband and wife should be the "family anchor" higher than the parent-child relationship. If the relationship between husband and wife is harmonious, the family will be as stable as a rock. Once there is a problem in the relationship between husband and wife, the core of the family, the children will definitely be affected.
However, in most families in China, the parent-child relationship is above the relationship between husband and wife. For example, parents who wait for their children to finish the college entrance examination before divorcing.
My friend Andy just gave birth to a son last year. In order to better accompany her children to grow up, she chose to quit her job and take care of her baby at home.
Her husband complains in front of us from time to time that since he had a son, his wife has "moved on" and doesn't care about him at all.
Even Andy himself admits that although he is at home full time, he feels that time is not enough every day. 24-hour "serving" son is self-sufficient and has no mind to take care of her husband.
In real life, how many people, like Andy and his wife, have become parents and forgotten how to love each other?
American scholar Theodore Martin Hesburgh said that as a father, the best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother.
Especially before the child is 3 years old, the child needs great love from his mother and gives him physical and psychological care.
In the process of raising children, the role of the father may be far less than that of the mother, but at this stage, the father has a more important responsibility, that is, to give more support to the mother and nourish the tired mother as much as possible.
When a wife feels her husband's love and sharing, her heart will become soft and comfortable. If you are emotionally stable, can treat everyone around you with tolerance and create a happy and warm family atmosphere, your child will develop better.
Parents are lucky if they can create a harmonious and warm family atmosphere in every detail of daily life, share their beautiful feelings with their children, and let their children learn all kinds of love abilities from their parents.
I don't mind letting my children see that their parents love each other, because loving each other is the most precious life gift that parents can give their children.