I think it is very true that Yu Huanshui knows his psychological state after he got cancer. Helpless, desperate and lonely, he recalled his idle life and went crazy before he died. So he signed a contract in the underground organization, sold his corneas, took a sum of money, bought a suit, made his hair, wore sunglasses, packaged himself as a hipster, and got drunk in the bar. There, he met a hospice care organization and listed more than 100 dying wishes, including going abroad to watch a football match, climbing snow-capped mountains, bungee jumping and even having dinner with Sebrina. After laughing, I will also remember, what are the experiences of those patients who really have cancer? In my few hospital lives, I will tell what I have seen and heard.
leukemia
"I don't know when I will die."
I remember when I was a child, as long as someone got cancer in TV series, it must be leukemia, so that I thought leukemia was an incurable disease before I went to college. It was terrible, and people would faint and die in a short time. Later, in the hospital, in the hematology department, I learned about hematological tumors and met many patients before I got a new understanding.
There are many types of leukemia, some are more common in children and some are more common in adults. Most patients lost hope in life after repeated chemotherapy, infection, bleeding and anemia after repeated chemotherapy. After the remission of chemotherapy, some people relapsed and their condition became more dangerous. After repeated drug treatment, hair will fall off a lot, people will lose 80 pounds, there are bruises on their arms, and there are no good blood vessels to inject. If you can't eat anything during chemotherapy, you will feel sick and vomit, and you need infusion to maintain energy supply. For some people, the only hope is to do hematopoietic stem cell transplantation, which is often called bone marrow transplantation. But the cost is too high, and it is not easy to find a suitable donor. Many people are desperate in repeated chemotherapy, and their eyes are lifeless. They are all eager to live, but the tumor cells in the blood take away too many people's hopes. I have seen many bald children wearing cute hats. Because they all lost their hair after chemotherapy, they shared the same cartoon in a ward and agreed where to go when they grew up.
I don't know how many of these wishes can be realized.
I remember once giving a 50-year-old male patient a bone marrow puncture. Anyone who has done it knows that it hurts, especially when pumping bone marrow. I saw him sweating profusely, and I was sweating profusely myself. I asked him if he was in pain. He said, yes, but the pain is to be endured. Put it on.
I can't help this thin man. I can't stop cancer cells from spreading in his body. All I can do is to move quickly when puncturing to reduce his pain. It's been so long, I wonder if he is still alive.
pancreatic cancer
The cancer misdiagnosed by Yu Huanshui is pancreatic cancer. What cancer is pancreatic cancer? Do you remember Steve Jobs, the father of Apple? The changes that Jobs brought to Apple phones and smartphones are immeasurable. God also wanted to use a mobile phone, so he took Jobs from pancreatic cancer.
Pancreatic cancer develops rapidly from early stage to late stage, and it takes only a few months from discovery to death. At present, there is no good method to treat it in the medical field. Although I am in the medical system, I have seen a golden mother-in-law in the gastroenterology department, saying that biliary obstruction caused jaundice. I read the medical record and her ERCP biopsy report, pancreatic cancer. This 80-year-old mother-in-law, besides being golden, looks quite tough and talkative. She asked me, what happened to her? Her daughter gave me a color. I said the biliary tract is blocked, so just put a catheter stent. My mother-in-law smiled reassuringly and boasted to other patients. Her two daughters dragged me outside the ward and said that they didn't want to tell them that their mother was a tumor and didn't want to treat it. Just remove the bile duct obstruction. They want to minimize their mother's pain in her last days. I understand. I promised them to keep a secret.
Later, my mother-in-law installed a stent, and the stent was blocked again, and she was repeatedly infected with biliary tract and was transferred to ICU. Fortunately, my mother-in-law's infection was controlled and transferred out of the ICU. Maybe in ICU, my mother-in-law knows her illness, or maybe she doesn't. She never asked me if I could be cured, but always asked me how long it would take me to leave the hospital. On the day of discharge, her daughter dragged me to the stairwell and mysteriously stuffed me with something, a small box of Ferrero chocolates. She said, I am very grateful for taking care of me these days. I knew I couldn't give out red envelopes, so I gave out something to eat. I'm sorry, but I just did what I had to do My mother-in-law is in a wheelchair, holding my hand and saying that her home is in Ya 'an, Sichuan, and I will go to see her if I have the chance. The fish there is delicious. Her two daughters looked at me with red eyes. I said, ok, I will definitely go.
Two years later, I still have no chance to go to Ya 'an. I know that everyone has the right to choose, whether it is life or death. What we can do in the face of them is the greatest comfort and respect.
breast cancer
Breast cancer is the beginning of a nightmare for women.
"I know I won't die for a while, but I'm as dead as I am now, no difference."
I read in the textbook that the treatment of breast cancer has changed a lot. From the initial total mastectomy+lymph node dissection to the current oral targeted drug treatment, sometimes the breasts can still be preserved, which is already fortunate. The five-year survival rate of these patients is relatively high, so we can still meet many patients who have undergone total mastectomy and come to the hospital for review.
I met many such women when I was in the ECG room. They lifted their coats well, and when I was unprepared, I saw a wide and long scar on their chests, and their chests were very flat. I can't forget the shock when I first gave such a patient an ECG. They may be used to a little doctor like me, showing a surprised expression. Later, I calmed down a little, and sometimes I talked to them about when I got breast cancer and when I had surgery. They would say, three years, four years. I asked carefully, now plastic surgery, can do breast reconstruction, is it possible to do artificial breast. Most of them just laughed and said, just like this ghost, just alive, and still want these. Many female patients go for reexamination alone, one person goes for chemotherapy drugs, one person loses drugs, and one person returns them. Maybe their families are no longer happy, and they also think that they are incomplete and their bodies are incomplete, which can really destroy many people.
Perhaps in our opinion, living is the best result. But in their view, this kind of living is very painful and painful. Even if the current medical level can make up for their physical disabilities, there is no way to make up for their psychological pain.
What kind of experience is it to have cancer? I don't know, because I really can't feel it. I may know something, because I have witnessed a life from fresh to pale. They are passers-by in my life, and I am just a passer-by in their life. Watching life die made me understand the fragility of life. Those who struggle to survive under the torture of cancer let me know the power of life.
If you have such a person around you, think about Yu Huanshui's helplessness. All we can do is spend more time with them. Companionship is often a good medicine, which can heal the wounded mind.