I once saw an article about "Should parents live with their children when they are old?" The views in it were very sharp and realistic, and it broke the hearts of countless parents. Thank you for your hard work. You have to work hard to support them, but you will never be able to change your heart for your heart.

No matter how sincerely you love your children and how much you have sacrificed for them, it is okay if you don’t live together. They will occasionally remember your sacrifices. Once you live together, life will be trivial and complicated. Over time, All that's left is disgust.

Even if you live with your children carefully and try your best to help them, they may not be grateful. Even if you give up your last bit of residual heat, you may not be able to get a smile on your face.

Since ancient times, there has always been a certain distance between people. The fragrance is far away and the smell is close. This is the truth. Even if you become invisible in front of your children, they will be the same. I will despise you in your old age.

In "Know or Not", Mrs. Sheng is a mother who always lives with dignity. In such a cruel living environment, she can not only protect herself, but also the people she wants to protect. Never rely on anyone to live, and always live with confidence and dignity.

And this ending is nothing more than Mrs. Sheng’s understanding of human nature and knowing that there must always be some distance between people, whether they are close or not, so that they can be safe.

Old Mrs. Sheng’s approach, whether in ancient times or in modern times, is worth learning from. As parents, even if we are close relatives, we should not give up everything and learn to "leave a foundation" for ourselves. .

Old Mrs. Sheng is a woman full of wisdom. She has a separate house and a separate stove. She does not get involved with her children. She will be filial to her daughter-in-law and her son if they want to, and don't force her if they don't want to.

She is comfortable and at ease in her own yard, and her heart is very peaceful. Her daughter-in-law, Wang, doesn’t respect her very much, and she doesn’t care. Instead, she skips the etiquette of greeting her daughter-in-law. live.

Although Old Mrs. Sheng was very kind to Sheng Hong, she never oppressed Sheng Hong with her kindness. She knew that Sheng Hong was not the kind of person who could be suppressed. At the same time, she always remembered that she and Sheng Hong were not the same person. She is a biological mother and son, so she never asked for anything.

On the other hand, precisely because Sheng Hong was not Mrs. Sheng’s biological child, but was taken care of by her, grew up, and started a family. Logically speaking, Sheng Hong should be doubly filial to Mrs. Sheng.

But Mrs. Sheng knows how to stick to her heart and does not want to get involved with her children. She knows that many relationships cannot be too close. If they are too close, resentment will arise over time.

In Mrs. Sheng’s view of education, children are not caged birds who will be trapped in a comfortable environment all their lives and lose the ability to hunt, but they are eagles who will fly into their own sky in the future and face their own challenges alone. To the wind and rain.

As a legitimate daughter of a noble family, Mrs. Sheng is so noble. She was raised by her parents who pampered her since she was a child, and she has never been wronged in the slightest.

However, life cannot always be smooth sailing, and after getting married, she will inevitably be involved in fights between wives and concubines. Her beloved son was killed, leaving her with a lifetime of pain.

After losing her child, Mrs. Sheng recorded her concubine Sheng Hong in her name, taught him how to behave, hired a husband for him, and helped him take the exams for his fame. When he became successful, she would retire.

In Mrs. Sheng’s life, although her children and grandchildren were not her own flesh and blood, she had truly loved them. Many parents would use love to kidnap their children, and many parents would kidnap their children because of love. If kept in a greenhouse forever, it will not be able to withstand a little wind and rain.

Mrs. Sheng is different. For her, love is something I am willing to give to you. As for whether you will repay me, I don’t really care. As long as you live up to my love, Love, don't be ungrateful.

Love should not be a reason to kidnap others, and love is not an eternal safe haven. Life is long, and it is a very happy thing to have someone to shelter you from the wind and rain, and to have someone to support you, but in the end, people In the end, you still have to rely on yourself.

On the day of Hua Lan's engagement, the Yuan family brought the betrothal gift and the betrothal goose. They were respectful on the surface, but in reality they had murderous intentions. They brought Gu Tingye, a master of pot throwing, to make the betrothal gift and almost won the betrothal gift back.

At such a critical moment, Sheng Hong and his wife were like ants on a hot pot. They wanted to put Hualan in a crystal glass for protection, but Mrs. Sheng didn't. She pushed Hualan out, who was about to get married. Let her solve the problem on her own:

When you were in your natal family, your elders would help you with everything. You just need to be a pampered young lady. But you are about to get married and become a woman. Even the second eldest daughter of the Yuan family has to make her own decisions about everything. If she still shrinks behind her elders at this moment, how will she be able to gain a foothold in the future.

Minglan is Mrs. Sheng’s favorite child. However, loving someone does not mean keeping her firmly by your side. In ancient large families, children should have their own children when they reach a certain age. In the yard, I learned to manage the household, money, and servants.

When Minglan was young, Mrs. Sheng reluctantly drove her away from her and built a new courtyard for her, Mu Cangzhai. Before leaving, Minglan held her grandmother's arm. Her eyes welled up with tears, and her grandmother was very distressed, but she always remained rational:

Old Mrs. Sheng’s love for her children and grandchildren has always been love but not pampering, which is why the Sheng family has flourished all the way. Later she was poisoned, and Minglan Changbaidi came forward.

If she, like most elders, keeps her children by her side because of love and reluctance, then Sheng Hong will definitely live a timid and fearful person, unable to shoulder the responsibility of being the head of the family. Lan will also become a canary unable to be independent, and will eventually die in the conspiracy of the deep house like her little mother.

Many times, love is not about restraint or blind maintenance, but about letting go appropriately, giving freedom to the other person, giving him room to grow, and blindly protecting him. That is not called love, but the selfishness of parents. A manifestation of this, because many times, it is the parents, not the children, who are inseparable.

Everyone will grow old one day, but people with different personalities have very different situations in their later years. When we see many parents around us, they think that they will be able to change their lives if they give everything to their children. Come to their sincerity.

However, the truth is cruel. A very common phenomenon around me is that many parents dote on their younger sons and give them all the good things when they were young. However, when they are old, they are rejected. Instead, the eldest son, who was once unpopular, came to take care of him until he died.

It’s so sad and deplorable, but this is reality. Human nature is complicated. Even if it’s your own flesh and blood, you can’t see their true face clearly. Since you can’t see clearly, don’t have too much hope. Lots of hope in the box.

Old Mrs. Sheng is one of the few wise parents. She is very willing to pay for her children. After her husband died, in order to save her husband's wife and children, she spent a large amount of money with her uncles Litigation.

Later, she trained Sheng Hong, provided for him to study, married him and had children, and spent a lot of money. She was even more willing to pay for her granddaughters. She accompanied Hualan when she got married. It was such a large dowry, Minglan was kept in her house, and she supported her with delicacies from all kinds of things.

But even so, Mrs. Sheng always had reservations about others. No one knew how much money she had. The two daughters-in-law were always thinking about her property and were always trying to find ways to put people in. Shouantang went to inquire about the situation.

But Mrs. Sheng is not the kind of person who can be monitored casually. Shou'an Hall is like an iron barrel, and not just anyone can enter.

Most people have a problem, that is, they always want to show their hearts to the people they love and trust, and show themselves to them without reservation.

Mrs. Sheng, on the other hand, has reservations even about her favorite Minglan. Minglan has been with her for many years and has always known that her grandmother is very rich, but she doesn’t know what her grandmother is. How much money is there.

On the day Minglan got married, her grandmother’s real estate shop brought out a lot of money to make her dowry. Minglan was surprised to find out that her grandmother had so much property!

Many parents are always confused and regard reservations as selfishness. What they don’t know is that selfishness means unwillingness to pay, while reservations mean leaving a way out for oneself. Oneself will be destroyed by heaven and earth. This is the eternal truth.

Old Mrs. Sheng has lived with dignity all her life, and this is not only because she is the legitimate daughter of the Hou family, but also because she has left savings for herself. If she does not have any savings, no matter what No matter how high she was born, no matter how filial Sheng Hong was, her life would not be easy.

From beginning to end, Mrs. Sheng never expected Sheng Hong to bring her anything in return, nor did she expect Sheng Hong to give her material comfort. If she wanted to eat, she would use her savings to let the kitchen Go shopping.

She doesn’t need to look at anyone’s face to decide which granddaughter she wants to be nicer to. She can make her own decision directly. This freedom and freedom are all because she has money and doesn’t have to rely on others.

Many parents have a miserable later life, mostly because they have been drained of their value and have no use for their children, and they foolishly believe that they have raised unfilial children.

In fact, it is not that the children are unfilial, but that they themselves are too stupid and have drained their own value early, causing the children to lose the reason to be filial.

The reason why Mrs. Sheng has always been respected by Sheng Hong in the Sheng family is not only because she is kind to Sheng Hong, but also because she has money and does not need to rely on Sheng Hong for survival. Mostly because Mrs. Sheng is a "treasure house of value".

Although she is a boudoir woman, she can bring great help to Sheng Hong's career. Sheng Hong can marry a high-ranking wife, and it is Mrs. Sheng who seeks her marriage;

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Hua Lan was unable to have children. It was Old Mrs. Sheng who found someone to take care of her body and became pregnant. She was able to hire a first-class female education official in the palace to educate the daughter of the Sheng family. Mo Lan did something disgraceful. It was she who made the Liang family marry Mo Lan...

No matter what the relationship is, never underestimate human nature. In the face of human nature, interests always come first. Learn to be a "reserved" person and treat others Be sincere, but don't take it wholeheartedly. Learn to leave yourself a way out and keep an appropriate distance.

The word "liangbo" is a derogatory term in its meaning, but in real life, it is the foundation of a person's life. Being cool does not mean denying all relatives and living alone. Instead, learn to maintain appropriate mental and physical distance from others.

Speak only a few words to people when you meet them, don’t give everything away. Only when you learn to be cool and indifferent first will others not be able to kidnap you with their emotions, and you will be able to live your life to the fullest.

I watched "Children of the Qiao Family" some time ago. Qiao Yicheng devoted his whole life to his younger brothers and sisters, and never lived for himself. He lived a very tiring life. The ignorant sister Qiao Simei often kidnapped her with family affection. Qiao Yicheng.

Because you are my brother, so you have to settle all the troubles for me. Because you are my brother, so if I die because of my lover, you have to help me raise my daughter and let her study. , Find her a good husband.

You have to know that those who only use feelings to kidnap you will never know how to be grateful. They only know how to ask for it without necessarily thinking about repaying it.

Just like the older leftover girl Fan Shengmei in "Ode to Joy", her mother has been kidnapping her out of family affection and taking money from her to support her useless brother, but she has never truly felt sorry for her.

Therefore, people who attach too much importance to emotions will often not have good results. Learn to love yourself more and live out yourself. Start by learning to be moderately cool and don't get entangled in emotions, just like Mr. Sheng Just like my wife, only by loving others and loving yourself can you have a good death.

Always remember one sentence: Whether you are a parent or a child, never be a purely giving person. You must know that both emotions and materials are conserved in this world. You love others. If you love yourself more, you will have less energy to love yourself. You must love yourself first and then love others.