I hope it is useful to you ~ \ (≥ ▽≤)/~ Lala.
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Seven Differences of Chinese and Foreign Communicative Etiquette
"Book of Rites Quli Shang" said: "If you enter, you are forbidden; if you enter, you ask about customs; if you enter, you ask about taboos." Due to different cultural backgrounds, there are many completely different places in specific etiquette. Specifically, there are seven aspects that must be understood first in order to communicate, exchange and cooperate.
1, treat!
We have very different attitudes towards compliments from westerners. When others praise, although they are very happy, they always seem to disagree, and politely deny others' praise to show modesty: "Not yet!" " "Just so-so!" "That can compare with you!" "I'm flattered!" Wait a minute.
Westerners' attitude towards praise can be described as "jubilant" and always respond to others' praise with "thank you".
2. hospitality
When we get along with others, we are always used to thinking about others from our own perspective. This is manifested in hospitality and being a guest. Conscious guests always try not to give their hosts any trouble or money, so they should always be polite to them.
Refuse. For example, when the host asks the guest what he wants to drink, the guest will generally say "I'm not thirsty" or "don't bother"; When the host pours wine for the guests at the dinner table, the guests always refuse and say "enough, enough", but in fact, the guests don't necessarily want to drink, they are often just being polite. Therefore, the competent host will not directly ask the guests what they want, but actively try to figure out the needs of the guests and take the initiative to give them satisfaction. At the dinner table, the hospitable host always persuades the guests to drink and serve. Therefore, the atmosphere of China people's hospitality and site visit is often warm: one party keeps persuading, while the other party keeps refusing.
Foreigners, especially westerners, whether they are hosts or guests, are very straightforward and don't mention it. When a guest comes to the door, the host will directly ask the other party "What would you like to drink"; If a guest wants something to drink, he can directly ask the other person "What's the drink" and choose his favorite drink. If the guest really doesn't want to drink, the guest will say "thank you!" I don't want to drink. "At the dinner table, the host will ask the guests if they want some more. If the guest has said enough, the host will generally not persuade the guest to eat and drink.
3. Modesty and self-affirmation
We always think that modesty is a virtue. I always like to be modest about my abilities and achievements. If you don't do this, you may be accused of "immodesty" and "arrogance". For example, before giving a speech, China scholars usually say, "I am not well educated and fully prepared, please give me more advice"; At the banquet, the hospitable host said to the dishes on the table, "There are no more dishes, please help yourself"; When the boss entrusts an important task, he usually says modestly, "I'm afraid I'm not up to it."
Foreigners, especially westerners, have no habit of modesty. They believe that if a person wants to be recognized by others, he must first affirm himself. Therefore, they always evaluate their abilities and achievements realistically. At the banquet, the host will introduce the characteristics of ordering food to the guests in detail, hoping that the guests will like it; When they are entrusted with an important task by their superiors, they will thank them and say that they will do well.
4. Comments and suggestions
Both China people and westerners like to give some friendly suggestions and advice to their relatives and friends to show their care and love. However, there are great differences between China people and westerners in the way of giving advice and opinions.
China people are often very direct when giving advice and advice to their friends. They often use words with imperative tone such as "should", "shouldn't", "want" and "don't". For example, "it's cold, put on more clothes and don't catch a cold!" " ""The road is slippery, so be careful when you walk! " "You should pay more attention to your health!" "You should shave!" "You should go to work! "and so on.
When westerners give advice and suggestions to relatives and friends, the wording is euphemistic, such as "It's very cold today, I'd like to add a sweater if I were you" and "You'd better shave your beard." Generally speaking, the closer the relationship between the two sides, the more direct the tone of speech. But even the closest people don't use the tone of command like us. Otherwise, it will be considered as disrespectful to your independent personality.
5. Personal privacy
Westerners attach great importance to personal privacy. In daily conversation, people generally don't involve each other's "personal problems". These personal problems include: age, marital status, income, work, place of residence, experience, religious belief, election, etc. At the same time, people also pay special attention to personal private living space. Don't tamper with or rummage through the closets, desks, drawers, letters, documents and other manuscripts in other people's rooms (if you want to borrow other people's articles, you must get the consent of the other party). If others are reading or writing, you can't look at what they are reading or writing from behind, even if they are just reading newspapers or magazines.
I also care about spatial distance. Even in public, everyone consciously leaves some private space for each other. For example, when waiting in line, they are always used to keeping a distance of more than 1 meter from others.
Our concept of personal privacy is relatively weak. Especially between relatives and friends, everyone likes to share each other's private lives regardless of you and me. In addition, the elderly can often ask the younger generation about their private lives at will to show their concern.
6. Timetable
Most westerners have a strong sense of time and a tight schedule. If you want to meet or entertain westerners, you must make an appointment in advance, usually more than a week. If you suddenly visit or invite someone without an appointment, they will generally refuse you. Moreover, there is a strict distinction between working hours and personal time. If it is work interaction, it should be done during the working hours of the other party; If it is a private interaction, you should choose to do it after work.
In addition, in terms of time, the date 13 and Friday are taboo. Especially when it is both 13 and Friday, we often don't arrange any outing.
And many of us have no strong sense of time. Sudden visits without appointments and temporary invitations are quite common, even if they are made in advance, they are often within a week.
In addition, professionals often do not distinguish between public and private affairs, and it is common to talk about business after work or private affairs during office hours.
7. Interaction
Westerners (except Latin Americans) don't pay much attention to reciprocity, although they often give gifts to relatives and friends on holidays, birthdays and visits. They generally don't value the value of gifts (so they like to give some small gifts), and think that giving gifts to friends is not to meet some needs of friends, but to express their feelings. Most people in China pay more attention to the value of gifts, and the value of gifts represents the affection of the giver to some extent.
In addition, there are obvious differences between the East and the West in the way of giving gifts. When westerners receive gifts, they usually open the gift package in front of the giver to express their appreciation. If you don't open the gift package in person, the giver will think that the other person doesn't like the gift he gave.
Most of us don't open the gift package in front of the giver unless the giver asks the other person to open it. The purpose of doing this is to show that you value mutual friendship, not material interests. If you open the gift package in front of the giver, you will be suspected of valuing profit over righteousness.
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Etiquette differences between China and foreign countries and their reasons
Etiquette is a rule of communication between people, a language and a tool. Due to the important source of etiquette-different religious beliefs, people who believe in different religions in the world observe different etiquette. China is one of the four ancient civilizations, and the Chinese nation is the only civilization and nation that has been passed down for thousands of years. China's etiquette began in Xia, Shang and Zhou Dynasties and flourished in Tang and Song Dynasties. After continuous development and changes, it gradually formed a system. Western society, the inheritors of several ancient civilizations, has been echoing China in the East. After the darkness of the Middle Ages, the Renaissance finally came, which gave birth to capitalism and modern civilization, and produced modern technology and culture. China and the West have completely different etiquette cultures.
With the acceleration of China's reform and opening-up and the increasing cross-border exchanges, the differences between Chinese and western etiquette culture are becoming more and more obvious, and the influence brought by these differences can not be ignored. It is necessary for us to understand these differences before the perfect integration of Chinese and western etiquette.
First, the differences in communicative language
Daily greetings, most people in China use "Have you eaten?" "Where to?" Wait, this shows a kind of intimacy between people. For westerners, this kind of greeting will make the other person feel suddenly, embarrassed or even unhappy, because westerners will understand this question as an "inquiry" and feel that the other person is asking about his private life. In the west, they just say "hello" or "good morning!" According to the time. "Good afternoon!" "Good evening!" Do it. And the British will meet and say, "What a beautiful day!"
In terms of address, in Chinese, only people who are familiar with it can "call them by their first names". But in the west, "name" is much broader than Chinese. In the west, "Mr" and "Mrs" are usually used to address strangers with unknown names. For women in their teens and twenties, they can be called "Miss" and married women can be called "Madam" or "Madam". Family members, regardless of rank, can generally call each other names or nicknames. At home, you can call your parents by their first names. All male elders can be called "uncle" and all female elders can be called "aunt". This cannot be done at home. Be sure to distinguish between Qing dynasty and Qing dynasty, old and young, otherwise it will be considered impolite.
There are many different farewell words in Chinese and western languages. For example, when saying goodbye to patients, people in China often say things like "drink more boiled water", "put on more clothes" and "go to bed early" to show their concern for patients. But westerners will never say anything like "drink more water" because it will be considered as pointing fingers. For example, they will say "take care" or "I hope you get well soon" and so on.
Second, the differences in catering etiquette
There is a saying in China that "food is the most important thing for the people", which shows the position of diet in the minds of China people, so China people regard eating as a top priority. Chinese food pays attention to the color, aroma, taste, shape and meaning of dishes, even exceeding the emphasis on nutrition. As long as it tastes good, nutrition is not important. Western diet pays more attention to the collocation and absorption of nutrition, which is a scientific concept of diet. Westerners pay more attention to the nutrition of food, ignoring the color, fragrance, taste, shape and meaning of food. Their diet is mostly for survival and health, and it seems that they don't pay attention to the enjoyment of taste.
In terms of dining atmosphere, China people like to be lively when eating. Many people get together to eat, drink and laugh, and jointly create a lively and warm dining atmosphere. People in China don't have any special manners at the dinner table, except at a very formal banquet. Westerners, on the other hand, like an elegant and quiet environment when eating. They think that they must pay attention to their manners when eating at the table, and they must not lose their manners, for example, they must not make ugly noises when eating.
Chinese and western banquet etiquette also has its own characteristics. In China, from ancient times to the present, most people respect the Left. When entertaining guests, you should arrange the distinguished guests in the left seat, and then arrange them in turn. In the west, respect rights, men and women sit separately, and couples sit separately. The seats of female guests are slightly higher than those of male guests. Men should open chairs for the female guests sitting on their right to show their respect for women. In addition, westerners should sit up straight when eating. They think it's impolite to bend over and eat with their mouths together, but this is the usual way of eating in China. When eating western food, the host does not advocate binge drinking. China's table wine is a must, and it is used to entertain guests. Sometimes, in order to show respect for each other, they will drink one cup after another.
Third, the differences in dress etiquette.
Western men usually wear conservative suits, white shirts and ties in formal social occasions. They like black, so they usually wear black leather shoes. Western ladies should wear formal dresses on formal occasions. Besides, ladies have the custom of wearing earrings when they go out. In western countries, especially in America, people usually like to wear casual clothes, such as T-shirts and jeans.
Nowadays, people in China are wearing more and more westernized clothes, and the traditional Chinese tunic suit and cheongsam have withdrawn from the historical stage. The dress of men and women in formal occasions is no different from that in the west. In daily life, you will see many people wearing vests, shorts, slippers and other indecent clothes.
Etiquette is a kind of culture, which has vertical inheritance and horizontal reference and integration. With the acceleration of the globalization of the world and the high-speed collision and integration of economy and culture, a large number of western cultures have flooded into China, and the traditional etiquette of China has been constantly impacted by western etiquette culture. How to protect the traditional etiquette of the Chinese nation, get rid of its dross, and make a reasonable and effective integration with western etiquette has become a topic that people keep thinking and discussing. More and more people realize that Chinese and western etiquette culture will penetrate each other and develop continuously.
Take catering as an example. Nowadays, foreign fast food and western food occupy a large proportion in the food market in China, and more and more people begin to try and accept these imported products. McDonald's almost represents a cultural fashion and becomes a symbol of American culture in the field of catering. At the same time, French aristocratic culture and English gentleman culture also poured into China with the diet. With the exchange of Chinese and western food culture, not only western dishes such as cakes, bread and cocktails have been brought, but also some advanced western cooking techniques and eating methods have been brought. All these have injected new vitality into China's ancient food culture. Of course, China's long and splendid food culture is increasingly influential overseas. Almost all over the world, a large number of China restaurants have appeared, and Chinese food is increasingly welcomed and loved by people all over the world. For example, Beijing roast duck has become an authentic delicacy in the hearts of foreigners.
However, in the process of the integration of Chinese and Western etiquette culture, China people are blindly keen on the West and unconsciously fall into two misunderstandings: First, the traditional etiquette of our Chinese nation has been replaced by western etiquette. Etiquette is the most representative thing of a nation. For example, among young people, holding western-style weddings and celebrating western festivals are tendencies that cannot be ignored. It is understandable to understand western etiquette only as folk knowledge. If people flock, they will lose their national self-esteem and their traditional etiquette will be submerged. Second, put the emphasis of etiquette education on the operational level, such as how many degrees to bow, how many seconds to stop shaking hands and so on. These problems are not impossible to talk about, but if we only make superficial remarks, etiquette will become empty formalism.
There is no denying that today's international etiquette is basically western etiquette. The reasons for this phenomenon are not only the strength of the west, but also the unity of western values and the westerners' high recognition and profound consciousness of their own culture. All this is closely related to the social foundation of Christianity, because etiquette is an important way of religious activities. Westerners have been educated and edified by this etiquette since childhood because of their devout belief in religion, which makes etiquette naturally manifest in human behavior. The high harmony between spirit and material, politics and culture gives people a high degree of self-confidence and superiority. It is the confidence and superiority of westerners that endows western culture with strong appeal and makes its etiquette culture regarded as the world standard. Compared with the current social situation in China, the gap between us and the West is obvious.
The integration of Chinese and western etiquette culture, in today's China, is more about learning from the West. But it is not difficult to learn western etiquette or create our own etiquette system. What is difficult is that we can also have a complete value system, a high degree of recognition and profound understanding of our own culture. We should learn western etiquette, not only its form, but also its inner soul. Only in this way can we establish self-confidence and superiority and establish appeal. The revival of the nation is not only the revival of strength, but also the revival of culture. Only when others agree with our culture can we really make our manners popular in the world.
If people are rude, they will not stand, if things are rude, they will not succeed, and if countries are rude, they will be uneasy. A society lacking etiquette is often an immature society. And a society with inconsistent or even contradictory etiquette standards is often an unharmonious society. Etiquette is the foundation of the whole social civilization and the most direct and comprehensive expression of social civilization. To create a harmonious society, we must start with etiquette. Today, China is facing unprecedented challenges. No matter in material, spiritual and cultural aspects, there is an urgent need for a complete and reasonable set of values to unify. Etiquette culture is undoubtedly this unified "Depth Charge". Only by recognizing the differences between Chinese and western etiquette culture and integrating them reasonably and effectively can we establish a etiquette culture system suitable for contemporary China society and realize the ideal of a harmonious society.