In the preface, Feng Tang wrote to himself 20 years later. At the age of 46, he wrote a letter to his brother who was 9 years older than him, and wrote another shadow of laughter and scolding.
I was drunk, and my brother said, "In fact, you are super lucky in literature. You see, you wrote a semi-autobiographical "Beijing Trilogy" between the ages of 15 and 30, and made it into a movie and TV series. Many adolescent students will watch it, and many people who want to know about Beijing will watch it. You wrote "Machamp's Mad God Trilogy" after drinking, in which "Bubu" became the best-selling traditional novel in China. You have never been killed by a Buddhist, so you are a real chicken thief. In the past ten years, your short stories have also sold several film adaptation rights, and your essays have been sold in the airport bookstore that you have always despised. You also founded the ultra-minimalist poetry school. Every March, where there is running water, people say that' the spring breeze is not as good as you', and many poets have written for a lifetime without leaving a word. You also retranslated the bird, creating the history of 2 1 century poetry collections being taken off the shelves. Actually, think about it. What else do you want? It's a pity to live so long. You're dead now. It is perfect. "
When I don't drink, my brother will say, "Brother, I didn't mean to hurt you. Actually, people are all the same. Who can be better than who? " However, a very few people, the day after tomorrow, encountered something that most people did not encounter, and fortunately survived and became so-called geniuses. Therefore, genius is not born, genius is acquired by accident. For example, one of my classmates accidentally threw his three-year-old son from the third floor, but his son was not dead or injured. After that, everything is a combination of 0 and 1 Later his son became a top computer hacker. I think back to your growth. When you were five years old, you had a serious illness, hepatitis A, high fever and acute pain of biliary ascaris. You almost died. After you came back to life, your brain was broken. Also, when you were ten years old, it rained in the summer, and you were not in a hurry to go home. You sit under the locust tree and watch middle school girls rush home from school. Lightning strikes, the locust tree is dead, you are not dead, and your brain is further broken. So, from today on, I admit that you are different and a genius. "
In Feng Tang's works, words become a thing. If words have sounds, they must be rhythmic and randomly distributed. There can be various types, sometimes rock, sometimes folk, sometimes hip-hop and sometimes lyrical, but they don't belong to any category. In five years, 10 years, what will it be like in 20 years? Before I started watching Anyang, the polluted air in my mind began to stir again.
? "Speak your own words, and be bounced back by the wall anyway; Go your own way, but drown the crowd anyway. " I just read this passage and feel the same way again. That's fucking brave This is another life!
? Feng Tang: Me in Twenty Years (Preface)
I am 66 years old:
Hello.
I have a brother who is nine years older than me. He drove out of Beijing yesterday and went to the seaside. He hates Beijing, but he is afraid of the cold, so he stays in the heating in Beijing like a bear in winter. As soon as the heating stopped and the begonia opened, he fled Beijing and went to the seaside in Shandong to spend the rest of the year.
Just as he habitually hates Beijing, he also habitually suppresses me. For forty years, he has always stressed that I am not as good as this person and that person. When I look better than these people by secular standards, he will emphasize that everything is meaningless in the end. From the perspective of the universe and Buddhism, we are as plain as Ganges sand.
Yesterday, I gave him a farewell dinner. He didn't drink. For the first time in his life, he didn't suppress me. He said the following words: "Bro, I'm not trying to hurt you. In fact, people are almost the same. Who can be better than who?" However, a very few people, the day after tomorrow, encountered something that most people did not encounter, and fortunately survived and became so-called geniuses. Therefore, genius is not born, genius is acquired by accident. For example, one of my classmates accidentally threw his three-year-old son from the third floor, but his son was not dead or injured. After that, everything is a combination of 0 and 1 Later his son became a top computer hacker. I think back to your growth. When you were five years old, you had a serious illness, hepatitis A, high fever and acute pain of biliary ascaris. You almost died. After you came back to life, your brain was broken. Also, when you were ten years old, it rained in the summer, and you were not in a hurry to go home. You sit under the locust tree and watch middle school girls rush home from school. Lightning strikes, the locust tree is dead, you are not dead, and your brain is further broken. Therefore, from today on, I admit that you are different and a genius. "
My birthday is coming this year, and I will be forty-six years old soon. Reminded by my brother's words, I think back to the first half of my life when I was struck by lightning. If I thought of forty-six at the age of twenty-six, how would I outline these twenty years?
I will probably stay in the Gynecology and Obstetrics Department of Union Medical College Hospital, get up at six o'clock every day, make rounds at seven o'clock, go for surgery or go out to the clinic at nine o'clock, take a nap at noon, have surgery or go to the library in the afternoon, and have a drink at dinner. After drinking, I will think about some beautiful nurses or patients, some local details or overall feelings, and most of the time I just think about it, and sometimes I feel uncomfortable, so I write it. My forearm muscles are great. In the past 20 years, I should have done a lot of good operations, which have prolonged the lives of many women, but half of these people will die within five years after the operation, which can't beat the law of large numbers of ovarian cancer. I am a chicken thief. I should be able to choose a suitable scientific research angle in the past 20 years and publish more than 20 articles in chinese magazine such as Chinese Medicine and Chinese Gynecology and Obstetrics. If I am lucky, maybe one or two articles will be published in Nature or Science. In the twenty years after the age of twenty-six, I should be promoted to a professor, but there are sixty professors in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology of Union Medical College Hospital who are higher than me, so it is impossible for me to be the director or deputy director of gynecology.
What actually happened was that I graduated from Union Medical College at the age of 27 and immediately went to the United States to study business school. After McKinsey graduated, I earned money by explaining the complicated problems in business for ten years. Later, I went to a central enterprise, took charge of strategy first, and became a director of six listed companies; Later, he founded the largest medical group in Asia. Resigned after the age of 43 and made full-time medical investment. In these 20 years, working 80 hours a week has not successfully restrained my desire to express myself. I squeeze in sleep and holidays, write essays on weekends, write novels on Spring Festival holidays, and finish writing poems after drinking wine. It took about two years to become a book. So far, six novels, a collection of short stories, three essays, a collection of creative poems and a collection of translated poems have been published.
My brother once drank too much and said, "In fact, you are super lucky in literature." You see, you wrote a semi-autobiographical "Beijing Trilogy" between the ages of 15 and 30, and made it into a movie and TV series. Many adolescent students will watch it, and many people who want to know about Beijing will watch it. You wrote "Machamp's Mad God Trilogy" after drinking, in which "Bubu" became the best-selling traditional novel in China. You have never been killed by a Buddhist, so you are a real chicken thief. In the past ten years, your short stories have also sold several film adaptation rights, and your essays have been sold in the airport bookstore that you have always despised. You also founded the ultra-minimalist poetry school. Every March, where there is running water, people say that' the spring breeze is not as good as you', and many poets have written for a lifetime without leaving a word. You also retranslated the bird, creating the history of 2 1 century poetry collections being taken off the shelves. Actually, think about it. What else do you want? It's a pity to live so long. You're dead now. It's perfect. "I thought for a moment, my brother is right. Most of my literary heroes didn't live to my present age. Kafka died at the age of 41; Lawrence, 44 years old; Wang Xiaobo, 45 years old; Kerouac, 47 years old; Carver, fifty years old.
? A Japanese friend gave me a huge piece of paper, which read "2 1 century". The following is a dense list from 200 1 to 2 100 every day. He wants to use this paper to persuade me to cherish my time and work hard. I stood in front of this paper for a while, and I clearly saw the fact that one day in this dense date will be my last day in this world. What I'm thinking is:
? First, never waste time on boring people and things, even for a day.
Second, continue to promote medical progress in every possible way to alleviate the pain of human flesh.
Third, keep breathing and writing, honestly put down writing, count as many as you can, and see how much darkness and light you can write, so as to alleviate the inner pain of yourself and others.
Fourth, look at people less and read more. Seeing people too tired and doing the work in front of the curtain, I am as stupid as a pig. In books and writing, I swim like a fish.
? To live is to be old, and to live is to die.
At dawn, I opened my eyes and made another profit. I hope to see you in twenty years. It's different.
? Feng Tang 20 17 April Beijing Buertang.