Alabama: Yes, we have electricity!
Alaska: 1 1, 623 Eskimos can't be wrong!
Alaska: Eleven thousand six hundred and twenty-three Eskimos can't be wrong!
Arizona: But it's dry and hot.
Arizona: But it's hot and dry here!
Arkansas: Literacy is not everything.
Arkansas: Culture is not everything!
California: By the age of 30, our women have more plastic than your Honda.
California: By the age of 30, our women will use more plastics than Honda combined.
Colorado: If you can't ski, don't bother.
Cosola Duo Zhou: If you can't even ski, will you please leave me alone?
Connecticut: It's the same as Massachusetts, except that the Kennedy family doesn't own it yet.
Connecticut: It's similar to Massachusetts, except that the Kennedy family doesn't own it yet.
Delaware: We really like the chemicals in the water.
Delaware: We really don't like the chemicals in the water.
Florida: Ask us about our grandchildren.
Florida: Ask our grandson.
Georgia: We put "fun" in fundamentalist extremism.
Georgia: We have injected some "interesting things" into ultra-orthodox Christian beliefs.
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (mainland scum dies, but leaves your money)
Hawaii: Let the useless people on the American mainland die, but remember to leave your money.
Idaho: not just potatoes ... well, we're not, but potatoes are really delicious.
Idaho: it's not just potatoes ... okay, okay, that's not what we mean, but potatoes are definitely good things!
Illinois: Please don't pronounce the "S"
Illinois: please, the last letter s of our state name doesn't need to be pronounced!
Indiana: No tsunami in 2 billion years.
Indiana: Two billion years later, the waves brought by the tide are still so free!
Iowa: We did amazing things with corn.
Iowa: We can do great things with corn!
Kansas: The First Rectangular State
Kansas: Of all the rectangular states, we are one!
Kentucky: 5 million people; Fifteen surnames
Kentucky: We have a population of 5 million, but all these people only have 15 surnames!
Louisiana: We're not all drunk and crazy, but that's our tourism.
Louisiana: We are not all descendants of crazy French immigrants. That's just our publicity campaign.
Maine: We are cold, but we have cheap lobster.
Maine: We are really cold, but our lobster is very cheap.
Maryland: If you have a dream, we can tax it.
Maryland: We can tax anything you can think of!
Massachusetts: Our taxes are lower than those in Sweden (most tax bands).
Massachusetts: Our taxes are not as high as those in Sweden (for most tax bands).
Michigan: Canada's first line of defense
Michigan: If the Canadians attack, we will be the first line of defense!
Minnesota:10,000 lakes ... and 10000000000000 mosquitoes.
Minnesota: We have 10,000 lakes ... and 10 trillion mosquitoes!
Mississippi: Come on, feel better about your own state.
Mississippi: Come on, feel better about your state!
Missouri: Your federal flood tax is working.
Missouri: Your federal flood relief tax can be put to good use.
Montana: There are vast skies, bombers and right-wing lunatics in this land, and nothing else.
Montana: this land is full of vast skies, terrorists who mail bombs and fanatical right-wingers, and almost nothing else!
Nebraska: Ask about our state motto contest.
Inside Las Vegas: Ask about our state motto contest.
Nevada: prostitutes and poker!
Nevada: Prostitutes soliciting in the red light district, and of course, card games!
New Hampshire: Go away and leave us alone.
New Hampshire: Go away and let's be quiet!
New Jersey: You want a # # $% #! Motto? I got your # # $% #! The motto is here!
New Jersey: You want a motto, don't you? Well, this is the motto I found for you!
New Mexico: Lizards are excellent pets.
New Mexico: Lizards are very good pets!
New york: You have the right to remain silent, and you have the right to an attorney. ...
New york: You have the right to remain silent, and you also have the right to become a lawyer. ...
North Carolina: Tobacco is a vegetable.
North Carolina: Isn't tobacco a vegetable?
North Dakota: We are really one of the 50 states in the United States!
North Dakota: We are really one of the fifty states in the United States!
Ohio: At least we're not Michigan.
Ohio: At least we are not Michigan.
Oklahoma: It's like a play, except there's no singing.
Oklahoma: It's almost like a performance, except there's no singing!
Oregon: spotted owl ... that's what dinner is about.
Oregon: spotted owl ... this is our dinner.
Pennsylvania: Cooking with coal
Pennsylvania: Cooking uses coal as fuel.
Rhode Island: We are not a real island.
Rhode Island: We are really not an island!
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We didn't actually surrender.
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? Actually, we didn't surrender!
South Dakota: Closer than North Dakota.
South Dakota: It's closer than North Dakota.
Tennessee: The State of Education
Tennessee: Education!
Texas: Yes, I speak English.
Texas: Yes, I can speak English.
Utah: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus.
Utah: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus!
Vermont: Yes.
Vermont: Yes!
Virginia: Who says government officials and lazy hillbillies can't mix?
Virginia: Who says those rigid government officials can't be confused with lazy country people?
Washington: Help! We are occupied by nerds and slackers!
Washington State: Help! We have a bunch of idiots and slackers here!
Washington, D.C.: Want to be a mayor?
Washington, D.C.: Hey, want to be mayor?
West Virginia: One big happy family ... really!
West Virginia: One big happy family ... Really, I'm not lying to you!
Wisconsin: Come to cut the cheese.
Wisconsin: Let's cut some cheese!
Wyoming: men are men ... and sheep are scared!
Wyoming: all men here are men ... cowards are only afraid!