Since Douyin became popular, everyone has begun to record and share their lives and insights on the short video platform. As a platform with more than 250 million daily active users, if there are no restrictions on uploaded content on Douyin, there will be a variety of videos that guide values.

Some time ago, such a value appeared on Douyin: When I saw the girlfriends around my brothers getting uglier and uglier, I knew that the brothers were getting serious and really wanted to start a family. .

Videos with the same content often have tens of thousands of likes and thousands of comments. It seems that everyone feels the same way.

The content of the video is very simple, just a group of people drinking and eating. The reason why it became popular is that the text content they created is in line with the current emotional status of young people.

To put it simply: fall in love with a beautiful girl and marry an ugly girl.

Such views on relationships and marriage are really hard to understand. When did good looks become a criterion for not being a marriage partner?

The most incomprehensible thing is that those who claim that their girlfriend is ugly mean that they are serious, are not also emphasizing that when they are dating beautiful girls, they are not serious at all and are just having fun. ?

No matter whether you are sincere in dating a girl with outstanding appearance, or whether you are serious in dating a girl with average appearance. Once a man is emotionally guided by whether a woman is beautiful or not, he will have the prejudice of judging people by their appearance.

Many times, we don’t think we can judge people by their appearance, because the education we received and the experience we gained during our growth remind us that we cannot judge people by their appearance. Most people even remind themselves from the bottom of their hearts. , don’t judge people by their appearance.

But in fact, due to subconscious judgments, our brains are far from being as rational and objective as imagined.

From the screenshots of the video, the likes one by one, and the comments sentence by sentence, it is not difficult to find: The prejudice of judging people by their appearance has completely penetrated into our lives.

Why do the brothers’ girlfriends keep getting uglier?

What? Are the brothers rushing to get married?

Oh, it turns out the brothers are getting serious.

This kind of content seems to be implicit, but in fact it is worse than directly saying "ugly girls are suitable for marriage".

How many beautiful girls really want to be with each other for a lifetime when they are dating, but the other party denies their sincerity because of their appearance.

I remember that some time ago, Christy Chung was trending on Weibo because of her beauty when she was young, and her movie clips were also talked about by netizens.

"You are so beautiful, but your boyfriend is average-looking. You must have other plans, right?"

"You should find a rich boyfriend. After all, you are beautiful!”

When a beautiful girl is commented like this, she will feel aggrieved more or less like Liti Chung in the movie. No one cares about their true feelings. Even if they shout that true love is invincible, others will only think that they are excuses to hide their true purpose.

I came across a post on the Internet:

The poster is a girl with a good face. She said that she did not dare to date men with average looks because others would say that she was looking at him. If she takes advantage of the other person's money, even if she really likes the other person, even if the other person's salary is not as high as hers, she will still be misunderstood as having ulterior motives.

She said many men would pursue her or even harass her because of her appearance. But no one ever tried to really understand her. She felt pathetic and lonely.

Then the question arises, why are we prejudiced against beautiful girls?

I think the reasons are nothing more than the following three points.

1. Human beings are visual animals.

Appearance can often easily cover a person's eyes. No matter how outstanding the person is, as long as he is good-looking, the person's other advantages will be weakened, and they may even think that those advantages are the convenience brought by appearance. .

A few years ago, there was such a widely circulated story.

You see, you could have embraced the beauty, but you had to listen to other people's slander. As a result, I regretted it, and the only one who suffered the greatest loss was myself.

2. You are too beautiful and insecure

"You cannot be the only one who likes beautiful girls. How many people are staring at this piece of flesh." - This is Quotes from a male friend of mine.

Yes, everyone likes beautiful girls, but so what? She can't control whether others like you or not. It's her choice if she likes you.

Men always think that beautiful girls are like beautiful exhibits in the window. They can just look at them, but if they really take them home, they are always worried that they will be stolen by others.

In response to this mentality, there is a post on Zhihu: Why are men unwilling to marry a woman who is too beautiful?

The answer with the most likes is:

Most men have this nature.

Since ancient times, the purpose of combining men and women has been to pass on genes to the next generation.

Although men long for the best genes, they are afraid that their women will be snatched away by others if they are too attractive, which will hinder the spread of their genes. Therefore, they subconsciously choose the opposite sex who is not so outstanding and acceptable to them as the object of inheritance. , more secure.

Of course, this is analyzed from the perspective of human beings’ primitive instinct. In the end, the respondent also said:

In today’s society, everyone is not a barbarian who robs and steals whenever they like, no matter what. No matter what the appearance is, as long as it is true love, two people can be happy together, from being happy at first sight to being together for a long time, whether it is Diao Chan or Dong Shi, we must believe that the wife we ??choose is the best.

Men who say that their women are too beautiful and feel insecure should reflect on themselves first. A sense of security is always something you give yourself. Only men who have no opinion and have low self-esteem will blame women for their insecurity because they are not good enough.

Zhang Jiani once broke the news in "Flowers and All Things" that her husband had not bought her a wedding ring until she gave birth to two children.

Once in France, I was accosted by a boy. Even though Zhang Jiani told him that he was married and had children, the boy did not back down and said that he could wait for her. Later, after I heard about it from Supermarket, I bought the ring the next day.

A beautiful woman is not a fool, nor is she a vase who agrees to date as long as someone is chasing her and has no independent opinions. They will also be responsible for their own choices and will be determined by what they like.

3. A woman who is too beautiful cannot afford to support her

Many men complain that being beautiful also has disadvantages, that is, their girlfriend always has to buy a lot of cosmetics and luxury goods to keep her beautiful.

This sentence is true. After all, there are no ugly women, only lazy women.

Women will invest in their appearance to some extent, and as a boyfriend, if you want your girlfriend to be beautiful and beautiful, but also want her to be financially independent, it is a bit too selfish. After all, you are the biggest beneficiary of your beauty.

It is said that if a woman marries well, she will become younger and more beautiful. If a woman doesn't marry well, she will become older and more like her mother. Although the words are rough, they are very realistic.

The most luxurious cosmetics for women is beautiful love. But when men see beautiful appearance, they only think about money and feel that beautiful women are difficult to raise. This is unromantic and too arbitrary.

There is one thing that everyone always ignores. That is, beautiful single women often have the ability to invest in their own beauty.

Men cannot kill them all at once, thinking that all beautiful girls will spend their own money as long as they date. Furthermore, since you are looking for a beautiful woman to be your girlfriend, you have to pay a certain price. Otherwise, it would be really like trying to be something and establishing something at the same time.

In short, if you can't afford it, don't chase it, and if you can catch it, don't complain. In the end, it would be really shameless to say that a beautiful woman cannot be raised and is not suitable for marriage.

The above are the main reasons for the prejudice against beautiful women. In fact, if you think about it carefully: Those who say that a brother’s girlfriend is ugly will know that he is serious. Not only do they have misunderstandings about beautiful women, they also have misunderstandings about beautiful women. Even women with bad looks are prejudiced.

My girlfriend is not good-looking, so she should have to endure hardships and stand hard work?

Any woman who is willing to work hard for her family is out of love, not because of her appearance.

Almost all women will feel that men marry them because they value their excellent inner qualities and interesting souls. If it is just because of their appearance that they are suitable for marriage, no woman will marry such a superficial man.

In fact, whether it is a beautiful woman or an average-looking woman, when will she suddenly want to spend her whole life with the other person? That's when a man treats her well.

Almost no man would believe that what a woman wants is just his sincerity. There is a video like this:

A girl commented under the video, I want to suffer with such a man.

What a simple but rare true love. In the face of this kind of emotion, if you use appearance to define sincerity, it will be the greatest insult to emotion.

Beautiful women will also long for marriage, and average-looking women will also be pretentious and lazy. A person's appearance is never the criterion for measuring his character. In the final analysis, it still depends on the person himself.

So how do we eliminate the bias of judging people by their appearance?

Some research shows that the solution to lookism may be similar to the solution to racial discrimination - make people believe that they are biased, and let people discover their biases in daily life.

Specifically, the following methods:

1. Understand the true appearance of the other party

Thinking biases are ubiquitous. Judging people by their appearance is something we often make but do not understand. Self-aware bias. If you have to characterize someone, the first thing you should do is to understand the other person's true appearance in detail, seriously and sincerely.

2. Improve one's own understanding

Only by improving one's own understanding and understanding oneself can we face others more rationally and avoid making the mistake of judging others by their appearance. People who judge people by their appearance often fail to see the real person because of their appearance.

3. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and compare your feelings with your own.

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, exchange mental positions, emotionally understand the dangers of prejudice, and rationally eliminate prejudice against others. Prejudice against others is a narrow-minded mentality, so you must have a correct understanding, completely change your impression mentally, and maintain a positive attitude.

In "Nezha: The Devil Boy Comes to the World", there is a classic line: The prejudice in people's hearts is like a mountain, no matter how hard you try, you can't move it.

The reason why we are so obsessed with the rebellion of disbelief is because most of us are overwhelmed by stereotypes and fate, our emotions need an outlet, and our lives need light.

Finally, I would like to say that this society is always full of prejudice. I hope that we will not judge others by their appearance, nor treat others by their appearance, nor deliberately hurt others with prejudice. I also hope that we will not deny ourselves or the people we love because of other people’s prejudices.