As a mirror

Maybe sometimes the mirror will be deformed.

But many times, it really reflects you.

A. Look at yourself correctly and comprehensively.

Don't measure your value by what the outside world thinks of you. In fact, people are different. The mistake we often make is to admit that there are differences between people, but we can't see the differences in intelligence, such as whether a person is smart or stupid. However, there are many aspects of human intelligence, such as writing, memory and calculation, which can be evaluated separately, but it is incredible to take these as a unit and rank first, second and third, just like comparing writers, actors and athletes together. Because of this, you don't have to worry about being inferior to others in one respect. You have your strengths and advantages, and these internal forces will give you confidence. Let you put other people's comments and comments behind you and bravely move towards your own goals.

B. enjoy it

Fully experience the fun of doing things, without worrying about whether you are proficient or not, that is to say, without worrying about other people's comments. I have a friend who is outstanding among women at work, but her knitting skills are really not so good. Once, she wore a sweater she knitted to work. This sweater has no color and is not evenly knitted. As a result, she was criticized by her female colleagues. The friend smiled and explained that she knew that going to the store to choose a sweater was better than this one, but she just wanted to experience the fun of "knitting by herself". Later, she didn't give up her hobby or bother herself with various knitting methods provided by her colleagues. She just enjoys knitting for longer and longer. If recognition is the criterion of doing things, she will not act according to her own wishes, thus losing the fun of having a different taste.

There is nothing wrong with pursuing transcendence within a reasonable range, but it is unwise to force yourself to achieve the impossible goal just for a compliment.

For example, although you study radio communication and know almost nothing about music, it doesn't prevent you from sitting in front of the electronic piano you bought for your son in your spare time. Maybe your friend will say, "Hey, you don't play very well." However, what's wrong with not being smart? You can still record the first song you play. Maybe every time you listen to it again, you will feel better than the first-class band.

Therefore, saying "what's wrong with not being smart" at the right time and frankly admitting that you are so will free you from the burden of expecting recognition and lead a happier life. More comfortable.

C. Establish a good self-image

Carnegie told us: "Find yourself, and you are you. Remember, there is no one like you on earth. In this world, you are unique. You can only sing in your own way, and you can only draw in your own way. You are created by your experience, environment and heredity. No matter good or bad, you can only cultivate your own small garden. For better or worse, you can only play your own notes in the music of life. "

Accepting yourself happily is the key to a better life. One of the most important psychological discoveries in this century is to confirm the existence of human "self-image". Whether we realize it or not, each of us has a psychological self-portrait. It is the self-value judgment of "what kind of person I belong to", which is based on everyone's self-belief.

When a person fully accepts himself, that is, when his self-image is complete and stable, he will have a good impression and give full play to his emotional behavior and talents. If a person's self-image is vague and chaotic, it will limit or even stifle his vitality.

A psychologist did such an experiment. He picked out the most stupid and unlovable girl from a class of college students, vying to woo her, asking her to watch movies, dance and so on. One year later, the girl not only looks radiant, but also behaves differently from before. In fact, she didn't become another person, but just showed a person's hidden beauty. This kind of beauty will only be revealed when people believe and accept her.

Another opposite example is an American plastic surgeon named Ma Jie, who is famous for facial plastic surgery. He turned many ugly people into beautiful people. However, he found that although the operation was successful, some people complained that the face after plastic surgery had not changed much, so he realized that beauty and ugliness were not only a person's appearance, but more importantly, how people viewed themselves.

A person's self-worth can often not be confirmed by others, but must be confirmed by himself first. If you want to develop a richer life happily and fully, you must have a good self-image to accompany you, so it is not difficult to be the kind of person you want to be, so that you can fully show yourself in life.

Confidence in truth, goodness and beauty is especially important for a person to accept himself happily. If you want to choose a more positive self-image, you must first learn to love yourself, which requires sound self-esteem. You are yourself, you don't need to doubt yourself and give up on yourself.

Luo Mubin, a long-time foreign minister of the Philippines, is only 1.63 meters tall even with shoes on, but he has never been ashamed of his short stature. In an article, he confidently thought: "Whether a person is useful or not has nothing to do with his size. On the contrary, being short may be really beneficial. Many great men in history are dwarfs. Beethoven and Nelson are only 1.63 meters tall, but compared with the English poet Keats and philosopher Kant's 1.52 meters, they are already very tall. "

This famous "dwarf" on the contemporary international stage not only accepted his figure frankly, but also proudly declared to the world: "I hope to be a dwarf all my life."

Relevant research shows that many people's self-images are often unconsciously formed according to their childhood experiences. A child who was liked as a child felt that he was appreciated by others because he was smart and beautiful, so he tried his best to make his words and deeds consistent with this self-image, which became true over time. Those children who have been spoiled since childhood always associate themselves with some negative behaviors, but the ideas and concepts related to them have imperceptibly entered his inner image, and many people have really formed a negative self-image as adults.

Since self-image is the key to whether a person can accept himself happily, can an imperfect self-image be changed? Psychologists' research has proved that it can be changed. No matter how old a person is, he can change his self-image effectively. This kind of self-transformation must first change the view of oneself.

The ancient Greek philosopher Darius said, "Know yourself." And how to learn to accept the most valuable and energetic person-oneself happily is also a big problem in life.