What is "empathy"?

To put it simply, thinking about things from the other person’s perspective is what empathy is all about. It is an important principle in building good relationships. If we don't understand the other person's position, feelings, and thoughts, we can't think about things and respond to the other person correctly.

"Putting yourself in others' shoes" requires us to be more curious about others. But unfortunately, most people lack this kind of thinking quality.

Such people often like to stand in their own position and "guess" other people's thoughts and feelings. What's more, they will use the public perspective of "ordinary people" to speculate on what others "should" think.

Only with curiosity can we be willing to understand the other person's mood; and only curiosity can drive us to humbly explore the true appearance of other people's inner worlds.

Curiosity is a fundamental element in our understanding of others. When we look at others with such an understanding attitude, we can truly begin the step of "empathizing".

After taking this step, we can think more correctly. And this is the first step for us to build good interpersonal relationships.

In fact, "empathy" is a very popular saying in life and work, but actually being able to do it is not as simple as just saying it. "Unless you can think with other people's thinking instead of changing your position and using your own thinking to understand others, can everyone do it?" Friend H’s insight is unique, but it reveals the crux of the “empathy” problem. He gave an example: You advise a golden leftover man to get married. If you think straight and he happens to be gay, then no matter how you put yourself in his shoes, you won't be able to solve the problem. Therefore, when you cannot understand the way others think about problems, you cannot truly understand other people's behavior patterns, let alone achieve true empathy.