-01-

I remember very clearly that Jin Dong said this in the TV series "The First Half of My Life": "Why do you get married? Life is not easy. You have to find it." Can a teammate be in the same boat? ”

But the choice of this teammate is crucial. If you choose the right person, your marriage will be happy and your family will be happy; if you choose the wrong person, your marriage will be ruined. It is difficult to live a happy life, and divorce is inevitable sooner or later.

Because marriage relies on the husband and wife to support each other and understand each other all the way to the end. If the other half around you is not suitable for you, how can you manage a good marriage in an ordinary life?

Some marriages are destined to be unhappy from the beginning because the spouses are simply not suitable for each other. After such a long period of experience accumulation, we have also summarized several types of people in marriage and love, and these people must not be entered into marriage with.

Just like the ones that are very popular on the Internet: Mummy Boy, Phoenix Boy, Fu Di Mo, Phoenix Girl, etc. These types of men and women are summed up through many failed marriages, and their destructive power to marriage is really too great.

The reason why these types of men and women are not welcomed in marriage and destroy marriages is that we can easily find that they have one thing in common: they always have conflicts with the original families behind them. of involvement.

-02-

Some people say that in Chinese marriage, it is never just a matter between the couple, it always involves the matter between the two original families. Break-in.

In fact, this sentence makes a lot of sense. Let me ask, if there is not a super controlling mother behind the mama's boy, how could he be raised to be a person who only listens to his mother in everything? Or to put it another way, if there were no parents who favored sons over daughters, why would she rather support her younger brother by depleting her own family?

The development of a person's character is not something that can be formed overnight, but is cultivated bit by bit through the family environment and the education of parents.

Most of the subsequent conflicts in marriage are caused by unclear boundaries with the family of origin. The most obvious one is Phoenix Man.

As someone on the Internet said: Marrying a Phoenix man means that in the days to come, you will be responsible for taking care of his parents, younger siblings, and a group of relatives and friends. And all of this is what you should do in their minds.

I believe that no girl wants to live this kind of life, and no girl hopes that her marriage will be like this. As someone said: Cherish life and stay away from Phoenix Man.

-03-

But is there anything that remains unchanged in this world? Just like a rose, everyone knows it has thorns, but they still can’t help but pick them. The same goes for Phoenix men. Many girls will still choose to marry them for love. And Xiaolu is one of the silly girls.

Xiaolu was born in a well-off family, her parents are both employees of state-owned enterprises, which makes her life in the local county very comfortable. There is only one daughter in the family, Xiaolu, so Xiaolu has always been the apple of her parents' eye. Growing up, no matter what Xiaolu wanted, her parents would try their best to satisfy her.

After Xiaolu graduated from university, she did not stay in her hometown. Instead, she went to a big city. Fortunately, it was not far from home, and it only took a few hours to drive there. But her parents were still very worried about her, so they would go to the city to see her every now and then. Later, her parents even bought her a house in the city and a car.

Xiaolu has been working in the city for several years, but she has never found a relationship emotionally. As she got older, her parents began to worry about her. It was also at this time that Xiaolu met Yu Bin.

Yu Bin is tall, handsome, and has outstanding abilities, which immediately attracts Xiaolu.

-04-

But Yu Bin’s family background is not good. Both his parents are farmers. He also has a younger brother and a younger sister, both of whom are in school. The family is very poor, so these Nian Yubin spent most of the money he earned away at home.

These conditions all show that Yu Bin is a standard Phoenix man.

If it were any other girl, she would have stayed away from him long ago, but Xiaolu is simple and kind-hearted, and there is a blank emotionally. Faced with Yu Bin's crazy pursuit, Xiaolu fell.

From falling in love to getting married, Xiaolu’s parents had always opposed their affairs, but Xiaolu had given up her mind and insisted on marrying Yu Bin. Her parents had no choice but to agree to her.

When Xiaolu married Yu Bin, she had no house, no car, no betrothal gifts. Even the banquet was paid for by Xiaolu secretly. After getting married, the two lived in Xiaolu's house. But Xiaolu was extremely happy inside because she finally married love.

But the days after marriage are not as good as the days of passionate love. Marriage is more about daily necessities and down-to-earthness. Xiaolu cannot accept the gap.

Xiao Lu has always been responsible for the expenses after the two got married, and most of the money Yu Bin earned was given to his parents at home.

It is still difficult to support two people with Xiaolu's salary, so the two of them have been living a tight life. Xiaolu is reluctant to buy even a new piece of clothing.

Xiaolu's parents have always had objections to Xiaolu because of this marriage, so they seldom subsidize her. She herself couldn't open her mouth to care about what her parents wanted, so she could only hold on.

Because of money issues, Xiaolu and Yu Bin gradually had conflicts. The relationship between the two people has also become much weaker.

Yu Bin has always forced Xiaolu to go back to her parents' home to ask for money, but Xiaolu's parents know the Phoenix Man's intentions, so they almost never give Xiaolu money. If Xiaolu doesn't return the money, she will have a conflict with Yu Bin when she returns home.

-05-

Later, Yu Bin went too far and took over his parents and younger siblings. The whole family was crowded into Xiaolu's home, which was difficult for Xiaolu to accept.

Xiaolu wanted Yu Bin to send his family back, but Yu Bin refused to listen, and the two started a fierce quarrel.

In the end, Yu Bin actually came up with a way: to ask Xiaolu to go home and ask her parents for money to buy a house, and then let her parents live in it.

Yu Bin took the extremely reluctant Xiaolu back to his parents' home. When facing Xiaolu's parents, he said without hesitation: "Mom and Dad, because my parents moved to my house at this stage, Xiaolu often gets into trouble with me. She is so ignorant. We have become a family, so why should we separate each other? I thought of a way, you can use some money to buy an apartment and let my parents live in it. This way the problem will be solved. "

Xiaolu's parents have always disliked Yu Bin, and his words made them even more disgusted. They had never seen him so shameless. Xiaolu's father flatly refused: "We have no money! You can figure this out on your own."

Yu Bin originally thought that he was sure to take advantage of Xiaolu, and he would definitely use Xiaolu to blackmail his parents-in-law. Part of the money came from him, but he didn't expect that his parents-in-law would not agree with him at all, which made him a little angry.

Yu Bin impulsively said: "If you don't give me this little money, don't come to me for your retirement."

After hearing his words, Xiaolu's father He was so angry that he kicked him out of the house and told Xiaolu that if you don't divorce him, we will not recognize you as our daughter. Seeing that her parents were so angry, Xiaolu didn't dare to speak, so she and Yu Bin went back in despair.

We always say that Phoenix men cannot marry because their native families are too complicated. In fact, this is only part of the reason, and part of the reason is the Phoenix Man's own personality.

They will always be unable to escape from the circle of poverty thinking and always want to get something for nothing or achieve success in one step. This is fatal. It is also very harmful to marriage.

Only by getting out of the weird thinking circle, knowing how to support oneself, and drawing a clear line between himself and his original family, the Phoenix Man will be reborn.