But it also revealed that Lao Yan and his wife failed to educate their son since childhood. Not only worthless, but also heartless.

My parents are bankrupt state-owned enterprises and retired workers of Guiyang cotton mill. Pensions barely support themselves and cannot provide financial support for their children.

At the age of seventeen, I began to earn money and stand on my own feet. I didn't ask for a penny from my family when I got married and bought a house. When I saved enough down payment and bought a house with a loan, I moved the old man out of the old house in the factory and took care of him with me. (At first, the house was small, so I had to rent a one-bedroom apartment for the old man with other units in the community. After that, my husband and wife tried to change three rooms, and the old man lived with us completely.

In the meantime, when I am worried about the inconvenience of capital turnover. My father offered to sell my old house in the factory (after moving out to live with me, the old house has been rented out, and the rent was collected by my father himself).

I've really thought about it. Although I really needed money at that time, I refused my father's kindness.

I said to my father: Dad, you think our husband and wife are filial, assured us and willing to help our son tide over the difficulties, we know. But this old house can't be sold. This is the power of your life. Your old house is your hard-earned lair with my mother. Now that you live with my husband and wife, we won't let you go back, but it will be different for you without it.

Sometimes it is inevitable that family members will misunderstand when they live together. For example, if something happens to you and you want me to come home from work, then we can talk to each other. But I was very tired that day, so I bought you a meal on my way home and gave it to you when I got home. You can eat it yourself. I'm tired, so I went straight into the house to rest. At this time, your old man's psychological estimate will be unhappy.

For example, when I have problems with my wife, Ben has nothing to do with you. But when you see it, you will definitely wonder if it is because of you. I might even guess: Do I dislike your cohabitation and deliberately quarrel with the young couple?

This is an ordinary family matter, which can happen. Now you can always think confidently: if you can convince us, you can convince us; If not, look bored and leave. Anyway, you have a pension and an old house, and you don't have to look at anyone's face to live.

If you sell your old house, you will always feel that there is nowhere to go. Even if I live in my son's house, I will feel dependent on others, and I will think more and more extreme and helpless.

Mental health is very important for the elderly. I won't allow you to sell my old house. I'll think about money.

My father listened to my analysis carefully before giving up the idea of selling the old house.

Some people may say that the difficulty of buying a house in Shanghai is beyond the imagination of Guizhou people.

My two brothers, the only brother, went to Beijing to work hard alone. The family can't provide financial help either. But by their own efforts, the two brothers bought a house in Beijing, got married and settled down.

My brother also took the initiative to invite my father to live in Beijing, so that my brother could trust him to his father and let him be filial.

It's just that my father is used to living in his hometown and getting along with our husband and wife. He can go to Beijing for a short stay instead of staying permanently.

Our parents, unable to give us financial support, gave us two brothers and a good tutor.

Attached is a photo of my brother's family inviting us to visit Beijing in 2008.

As can be seen from the photos, we are not a wealthy family, but we are a happy and harmonious family.

The pity of Yan Shu and his wife also happens to be the pity of some parents in China.

There are three reasons for this ending:

1. As parents, they don't want their children to suffer. They always think about their children and never think about themselves.

From the conversation between Lao Yan and his wife, we can know that in their concept, their life is for children. Buying a house for the child in full, I can't bear to let the child suffer from the mortgage, and I am bent on helping my son bring up his grandson.

It can be seen that their whole life revolves around their children and they have never thought about their own lives. This way of working hard for children and doing everything possible has led to children's lack of gratitude.

How can a child who has never suffered experience the hardships of his parents?

2. Everything is for children, so that children have no opinions. Listen to your parents at home, listen to your wife when you get married, and have no idea of missing your parents at all.

Lao Yan and his wife saved enough money to buy a house by selling steamed buns, but their son foolishly put forward his wife's name. Obviously, this is what the young couple discussed, shameless.

He didn't want to think about it either. It was bought in full, and his parents' lifelong efforts were in it. Buying a house in the name of his wife, but not letting his parents live, normal people can't do this.

It is not difficult to see that Xiaoyan is obedient to his wife.

3. Too kind. 19 there is a popular saying: your kindness must be sharp.

The sadness of Lao Yan and his wife is partly due to their kindness. They bought the house in full, and they didn't say a word when their son and daughter-in-law kicked them out of the house.

They have a good mind, so as not to embarrass their son. But being too kind means being weak, and my son and daughter-in-law have decided not to say anything to let the young couple and their parents occupy the nest, but they have nowhere to go.

Just because I was so kind, I paid the full price when I bought a house, which led my son and daughter-in-law to kick off the bridge. Because they have no use value!

This is my humble opinion! I hope it works for you!

What are the regrets of Lao Yan and his wife? Love children but don't educate them.

Yan's parents spent their life savings to buy a house for their son and daughter-in-law, but they were kicked out. Two old people crowded into a small steamed stuffed bun shop and were fined by the city management the next day. The ending of a hard life is really not pitiful. The essence is that you only know how to love children, but you can't educate them.

Lao Yan and his wife really love children, which can be seen from several things in the existing plot. First, if the son wants to buy a wedding room, then take out all the money he has saved all his life and buy it in full; Second, the son wouldn't let them go back first, and there was no quarrel at all; Third, even if my son doesn't want the old couple, he should stay in Shanghai, so that his son's family can help them immediately.

The love of Lao Yan and his wife for their son can be said to be responsive and endless.

In the play, an old couple also faces the risk of being driven away by their son. After being cheated away by Lin Maogen, the old couple had nowhere to go but to go to their son's house first. When my son heard about the old couple, he advised them to go back to the mansion first. Old Geng suddenly got angry and said that I could go anywhere with you. Finally, Lao Geng's son had to compromise.

To love children should be to accommodate them within a certain range, but if they exceed that limit, they should be corrected in time. Lao Geng's handling of being driven out by his son is completely correct.

Say gratitude first. The baiwenhang, who can carry big bags to his parents, is also rare in the world, so let's not talk about it.

Besides capacity, Uncle Yan's son asked Qian Qian's name on the real estate license, which was put forward at the signing site. Under normal circumstances, shouldn't this kind of thing be discussed at home before signing a contract? This shows that Comrade Xiaoyan's behavior is extreme, even willful. He should be confident that his parents will agree, so he raised such a crucial question at the last minute.

Finally, talk about investment ability. If Lao Yan and his wife have a low level of education and don't know how to use leverage, Xiao Yan is a young man and doesn't know how to use leverage to buy a house. Can the remaining money be used for investment and financial management? Of course, having a son is greedy for money, which is once and for all. )

In fact, in China, especially in remote rural areas, many parents only feed and support their children. As for how to be a man and how to deal with the world, there is no teaching at all. Some parents are busy with their livelihood and may devote all their energy to raising their children, while some parents may want to teach but don't know how to teach, and some parents just care about their children.

As parents, parents should not only support their children, but also teach them gratitude and behavior skills.

Strict father's strict mother is only a character in the film and television drama, and her ending screenwriter can be adapted and adjusted. I believe that netizens who have seen the drama "An Jia" will also have a new understanding of raising children and pay more attention to their moral education and spiritual education. It would be nice if this effect could be achieved.

I'm glad to answer this question.

Of course, this is not only the problem of Yan Shu and his wife, but the problem of most parents under traditional thinking.

This life is to live for children. Many parents have this idea. They scrimp and save, but leave the best things to their children. You can suffer by yourself, but try not to let the children suffer again.

It can be said that this kind of love is selfless, great and worthy of praise and praise, but it also has its disadvantages.

A child who pampered me since childhood learned not to love others selflessly, but to take everything for granted, which is what parents should do to me. They don't understand their parents' hard work, and they don't know that their parents also need their love.

The performance of Yan Shu's son in the play is typical. His parents spent their life savings to buy him a house, but how did he treat his parents?

Ask to add the name of the daughter-in-law to the room book. Why not communicate with your parents in advance? Because he doesn't care about his parents' feelings, he only knows that his parents won't refuse him.

His parents had already arrived at the door, but he didn't know to let them in for a rest and a drink. Instead, he let them go back first, and even his parents were not allowed in.

When his daughter-in-law saw Yan Shu and his wife, she looked unhappy and turned away, leaving her son alone and embarrassing her parents there.

This is the spoiled child, who is confident when he asks his parents for it, but takes it as a burden when his parents need it.

Parents all over the world, not to mention such good people as Yan Shu and his wife.

However, we can also get some inspiration from uncle Yan and his wife to avoid making good people poor.

Is in the process of children's growth, we must eat some bitter, let them feel the hard work of their parents. This is not only an exercise, but also enables them to understand and care about their parents.

For example, help parents do some housework within their power; The requirements for children should be met appropriately according to the situation, rather than trying to meet them; There is no harm in helping to pay a down payment for buying a house and letting them borrow some money; Don't be afraid to trouble children if something happens, and so on. In this case, the outcome may be very different.

This is what you deserve, what you deserve, what you deserve. Among several children, the most favored one is the baiwenhang. Why? Because he has always enjoyed the care of others, no one told him that he should also care about others. In the long run, he thinks that taking care of others is the right model.

Therefore, when you spoil your child, you should tell him what is right and what is wrong. Wrong concerns are mutual. Others spoil you, and if you feel sorry for others, he will think of others. . .

I think the real pity of Uncle Yan and his wife is their doting on their son. This is also the "common fault" of most parents in China.

Yan Shu and his wife could not bear the mortgage pressure of their son's interest of 6.5438+0.2 million, so they emptied their savings and returned the full amount to their son. However, they were driven out of their homes and taken over by their parents. The son is a typical "wife slave", who hates his elderly parents and doesn't care about their despair.

It is certain that the son of Yan Shu and his wife is unfilial. But it also reflects the education of Yan Shu and his wife to their son.

No child is born unfilial.

When Yan Shu and his wife were driven out of the house and ridiculed by their mother, they smiled awkwardly to protect their dignity and self-esteem. "Oh, we moved, so we stopped by." Comparing the way Uncle Geng treated his son, "Where do you live? I live here. I paid for the house when I bought it. I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying here. " Uncle Geng's domineering attitude made his son afraid to say a word. Our uncle Yan and his wife are in trouble because they spoil their children too much. Perhaps it is the phrase "poor people must have something hateful."

Most parents try their best to think of their children, but sometimes the elderly have to think of themselves, and spiritual independence is the best.

To say the least, "flesh and blood should also be guarded." Therefore, it is taboo to care about children's praise and spoil.

As ordinary people who come to work in Shanghai from other places, Lao Yan and his wife have worked hard for more than ten years, completed many things that people who work hard in Shanghai dream of and bought a house.

However, the house did not bring them happiness, nor did it help their grandson to feed them, but their son ruthlessly drove them out. They happily went to their new home to take care of their daughter-in-law, but they didn't even enter the door.

Lao Yan and his wife really love their son. They work hard alone in Shanghai. They are busy from two o'clock to ten o'clock in the morning and live in a facade room with poor conditions. They are never willing to buy decent clothes to let their children live a good life and gain a foothold in Shanghai.

The reason why their love is too simple is that they just give their son love and give him whatever he needs, but neglect the education of his children, which leads to his selfishness. Later, when signing the contract, he suddenly proposed to add his girlfriend's name. It should be that they have reached an agreement. Lao Yan had been looking at the house before, and didn't say anything about adding a name until this time. He didn't discuss it at all, so he had to do it according to this idea. He also threatened his parents with his girlfriend being pregnant.

When Lao Yan's son proposed to add his girlfriend's name, Aunt Xu already felt that something was wrong, and proposed that Lao Yan and his wife pay the down payment, and the rest would apply for a bank loan, and Lao Yan's son and daughter-in-law would repay together.

This is for Lao Yan and his wife. Aunt Xu knows how difficult it is for two old people to save 3.2 million yuan in more than ten years. After paying the down payment, the old couple can still keep a lot of money. He is worried that the old couple will have no money in their pockets after paying the full amount, and what to do if their daughter-in-law becomes a demon in the future.

However, when Fang calculated that the mortgage interest was at least 6.5438+0.2 million, Lao Yan and his wife felt distressed, and the interest exceeded one-third of the house payment. They are worried that their son will be under too much pressure in the future, and they feel distressed for what his son will do in the future.

In fact, pressure is the driving force. Carrying a mortgage on your body can better urge your young people to work hard and make progress. However, Lao Yan and his wife paid the house payment in full, which seems to solve their son's worries, but it will only make his son more irresponsible. What if my son thinks the house is small in the future and wants to change to a bigger house and ask Lao Yan for money? It is conceivable that by that time, the money that Lao Yan and his wife have worked so hard to re-accumulate is likely to be taken away by their sons.

It can be said that Lao Yan's son is a real baiwenhang. He married his daughter-in-law, forgot his mother and only cared about his family. This reason is not only because of the doting of Lao Yan and his wife, but also because they neglected the education and communication of their son.

Husband and wife are busy doing business in Shanghai in order to save money on weekdays, which probably ignores the education and communication of their son and makes him take his parents' efforts for granted.

abstract

Lao Yan and his wife are typical representatives of many parents in China. They have been busy all their lives, giving everything for their children, but in the end they got nothing. "Parents' love for their children is far-reaching. "This" far-reaching "is not to arrange everything for children, but to help them learn responsibility and bear the pressure in the future.

Poor people must have something hateful. I feel sorry for their son, too, but I still think it's right.

The more you give your children, the less they will return. Because you keep giving, slowly they will feel that everything you do for them is taken for granted. Without the slightest gratitude, there is no way to return! This is how tragedy was born.

You don't have to pay the full amount, just pay the down payment and keep the money yourself.

This is actually because they don't realize their son's cowardice and think too well of their daughter-in-law. I don't know if I am such a cowardly son.

Educate children, especially sons 1, cultivate independent personality, and be independent when things go wrong. Don't train a mother-in-law boy. 2 is the pressure of children, you must carry it yourself, unless your family is well-off. Don't burden your children too much. If you use almost all your money to buy a house for your child, you must bring your name. Of course, if money is not too much pressure on parents, it is another matter. Don't mix life and career with children, and don't agree to sacrifice your career for children, unless your job is really only in the minimum wage range, and many children are not as good as their parents. When you do anything, you should think more about yourself and whether you can bear it.