It is a big problem and a big puzzle in life to ask people to do things and give gifts. This trend has lasted for thousands of years since ancient times, not only has it not disappeared, but has intensified. To solve this problem, we need to improve the quality of cadres, purify the social atmosphere and improve the legal system.
However, it has become a rule that interest and politeness are related and politeness is beneficial in business communication. People pay attention to courtesy, and it is inseparable to ask people to do things. Gifts are a symbol of friendship, and returning peaches is a long-standing custom in China.
On holidays, people will give gifts to their relatives, friends, classmates, colleagues, leaders and others in advance, which is also a courtesy. If the gift is inappropriate, it will make the other person laugh and cry. Mr. Wang, the general manager of a company, has encountered such a situation. Mr. Wang is on a business trip. Before returning to China, an old friend who immigrated for many years gave a very precious big goldfish bowl. I just remembered that I accidentally told my friends that I like keeping goldfish. This friend also sent this fish tank at the expense of work. After his friend put down his gift and left, he almost fainted in front of this vat. You can easily return to China by booking a plane ticket. How can you bring another monster back? If you transfer it to your friend who came with you now, he can't bear to transfer his inconvenience to others. In this way, the deep affection of friends has become a headache at the moment.
It can be seen that gift-giving is an art, and if it is given properly, it will receive very good results. It will not only make the receiver accept it easily and happily, but also make the giver happy.
Gifts should pay attention to principles, taking into account the other party's culture, hobbies, status and other factors, as well as the time, place and occasion of giving gifts.
First, we must choose our gifts carefully. The purpose of giving gifts is to surprise and praise each other. Gifts are the carrier of feelings, and any gift represents the unique intention of the giver, or returns, or asks for help, or contacts feelings. Therefore, the choice of gifts should also meet the requirements of this specification, and should be treated differently according to the different situations of different recipients. The gift you choose must be in line with your heart, so that the recipient feels that your gift is unusual and precious. Generally speaking, for the poor, it is still affordable; For the rich, exquisiteness is better; For lovers, lovers, lovers, it is better to commemorate; For friends, fun is better; For the elderly, it is better to be practical; For children, it is best to innovate; For foreign guests, it is best to have characteristics. Also remember that the quality of gifts is not measured by money, and good gifts are not necessarily valuable. The key is to come up with a gift that is both economical and emotional. The best gift is meaningful, thought-provoking and extraordinary, and should be chosen according to the other person's hobbies.
Second, we should pay attention to the time, place and occasion of giving gifts to make them acceptable. Gift-giving occasions can be improvised. Many people especially like to go to each other's home at night, but this is not necessarily the best time to visit. It is very likely that the other party is not at home at night, and it is really a pity that he gave a gift but didn't see the person he wanted to see. Sometimes I am at home, but I have guests, and I don't bring gifts as you wish. The best time is before the other party leaves for work, so that the things to be done can be completed without being disturbed by others.
Third, think about the reasons for giving gifts. If there is no gift from the beginning, if others love face and talk from the outside, it will be even more troublesome. But it's easy to do it for one reason. For example, special days such as the other person's illness, birthday, and children's admission to a good school are the best time to give gifts. Because things happen for a reason and are well-founded, it is easier for the other party to accept. While thanking you, there won't be too many concerns. If you have children around you, you can push the gift to the child and buy it for the child on an excuse; You can also put it on your lover who is not around and say, "I don't need to take these things when I ask you to do things, but my lover won't listen to anything and must let me take them." I took it, too, and then I got it back. She said I wouldn't do anything and I wouldn't explain. "or" this thing was bought by my friend, and I didn't spend any money. Just do it for him and don't be too polite to him. "This reason can not only make the other party accept the gift, but also damage your image.
Fourth, we should choose the right time. Birthday is the best time. You might as well write down the diaries of your boss, colleagues, subordinates, relatives and friends and mark them with a red pen on your calendar at home. When this day comes, you can send a special gift or hold a birthday party. Children of relatives, friends, bosses or subordinates can tie the knot, add color to their lives, and also send their own gifts in time. Furthermore, if relatives and friends are on vacation at home due to illness, they should take time to bring gifts to visit. The sooner the better, don't delay.
Sometimes, whether the gift can be sent out is also a headache. The other party is unwilling to accept it, or refuses it sternly, or refuses it euphemistically, or returns it afterwards. In this case, it will make the sender very embarrassed, and it will cost money and will not be done. Therefore, only by mastering the skills of gift giving can we draw a satisfactory conclusion in the whole process of gift giving.
1. Borrow flowers to offer Buddha. If you send some local products, it can be said that they are from people in your hometown. Give each other some to taste. There are not many things. Please let him accept them. Generally speaking, if the recipient refuses to return the gift because of his kindness, it is estimated that he will relax and accept your gift.
2. sneak into Chen Cang. If you send something like wine, it can be said that someone else gives you two bottles of wine, so that you can have a drink with the other person and let him prepare to order. Drink one bottle and get one free. We are close, and the gifts are also given. There is no trace.
3. Good wind depends on strength. Sometimes you want to give someone a gift, but you have nothing to do with the other person, so it is not good to send it directly. At this time, you might as well choose the other person's birthday and wedding and invite several acquaintances to send gifts to congratulate you. The average recipient will not refuse. When it is known afterwards that this kind proposal came from you, it will inevitably change his view of you.
4. Replace trees with flowers. Lao Zhang has something to do with Xiao Liu Qu. He wants to send some gifts to clear it up, but he is afraid that Xiao Liu refuses to refute it face to face. Lao Zhang's lover is very familiar with Xiao Liu's object, so Lao Zhang remembered his wife's diplomacy and asked his lover to visit with a gift. It's done. It seems that sometimes direct attack is not as effective as circuitous movement.
5. Bridge by road. Sometimes, giving gifts is also a way to give gifts. You can buy some preferential products through some contacts. You might as well buy it for your friends and colleagues. When they buy these preferential products, they have accepted human feelings as gifts. You didn't spend a penny, but you used your connections to make a career.
6. Send by "borrowing". If you want to give gifts to people with family difficulties, sometimes they are too proud to accept help easily. If you send something, you might as well say it is idle at home. Let him take it first and buy it back later. If you send money, you can say that you will take some flowers first and return them later. The recipient will think that you are not giving alms, and you will be happy to accept it later. In this way, the purpose of your gift is achieved.
7. icing on the cake. A person wants to ask a teacher to do things, wants to give gifts and suffers from no chance. One day, he happened to find that the calligraphy and painting embedded in the teacher's mahogany frame was actually a rubbings, which was out of harmony with the elegant furnishings in the room. It happens that his uncle is a well-known calligrapher in China, and he has this calligraphy and painting at hand. So, he immediately brought the calligraphy and painting and put it in the border box. The teacher not only didn't object, but also liked it very much.
Clever use of "the third party"
Asking for help, if you can drive a "through train", directly confront each other and achieve your goal smoothly, that is the best. However, it often happens in life that the other party doesn't buy your account at all. In this case, we need to use our brains and turn a corner, and we can use a third party who is closely related to the other party to achieve our diplomatic goals.
To do things efficiently, it is best to work hard on key people. As long as this key person gives the green light, agrees or assists, the problem is often solved. If you can't find this key person, you can also find a "third party" around this key person and work hard from them.
Don't underestimate this "third party". Sometimes even if key figures or specific clerks agree to solve a problem, they will be shelved because of a "third party". Therefore, you must not deal with it casually because he has no right or job, otherwise your good things may be bad in his hands. For example, the general manager of a company has agreed to issue a certain amount of funds to the unit. The matter was transferred to the finance office, and the accountant in charge was dissatisfied with the unit, so he delayed the handling, either on the pretext that it was difficult to transfer money, or the bank set up a card, and the result was delayed again and again. ...
Therefore, we must never underestimate the doddering old lady around us, the "little emperor" who plays marbles and water cannons, or the semi-old Xu Niang who is still charming ... These people are not obvious, but may become a stumbling block for you to ask for help. Smart people are good at using these "third parties" to get through the joints and work for me.
China has been a patriarchal society since ancient times, but women have a great influence on men, affecting their attitudes and lifestyles. Smart people often use the spouses of key people to do things and achieve the goal of getting twice the result with half the effort.
Liu bang led the army to fight against the Huns. Because he was eager for success, he was accidentally ambushed by the Huns and was forced to stay in Dengbaishan. At this point, the follow-up troops were blocked at the main intersections separately, unable to rescue the driver, and the situation was quite critical, which made Liu Bang anxious like a cat on hot bricks.
Counselor Chen Ping has been thinking about ways to get rid of danger. On this day, he climbed to observe the enemy's situation and saw a man and a woman in the enemy commanding the Xiongnu soldiers. It is understood that they are Attila Morton and his wife E Shi. So he came up with a clever plan and immediately went back to camp to discuss with Liu Bang.
So Chen Ping sent an emissary with treasure and a painting to meet E Shi in secret. The emissary bribed Fan Xiao at a high price in the name of E Shi in order to get the chance to meet him. After seeing E Shi, the messenger pointed to the gift and said, "These jewels were given to you by Emperor Dahan. Emperor Dahan wanted to make peace with your country, so he sent a gift. Please make it clear to Attila. " E Shi's heart was moved by this gift, and all the gifts were accepted.
At this time, the messenger presented another picture and opened it. It turned out to be a stunning beauty. The messenger said, "I'm afraid Attila won't agree to make peace, so I'll give him the most beautiful woman in the Central Plains. This is her portrait, please have a look. "
E Shi looked at the photo. The beauty in the photo looked like a fairy. He immediately thought: If my husband got such a stunning beauty from the Central Plains, would he still take me seriously? So she shook her head and said, "This is unnecessary. Take it back! I will let Khan retreat. "
The messenger rolled up the photo and said goodbye.
After seeing off the emissary of the Han army, E Shi went to Attila and said, "I heard that reinforcements of the Han army are coming soon. The Han army here cannot attack for a long time. As soon as their reinforcements arrived, we were passive. It is better to agree to their demands and take the opportunity to ask for more property. "
Attila listened to his wife's words, and after repeated thinking, she agreed to Liu Bang's request, and the two sides reached an armistice agreement.
In addition to skillfully using the spouses of key figures, they can also use their "little emperors" and "little princesses" to achieve the purpose of doing things. Children are the pride of parents. How can parents be indifferent to providing affection and benefits to their children? Coupled with the intercession of the children who benefit from it, some seemingly difficult things can be solved.
During World War II, Luo ran a film import and export company in the United States. One of his telephone experts, Roovers, has a bad temper and always quarrels with others, even Lowe.
On this day, Roovers had an argument with another assistant of the development team for one thing. He lost his temper and slapped the table and swore. Luo Wei's past discouragement was also reprimanded by Roosevelt. Just as they had a big fight, Roovers' little daughter walked into the laboratory. The youngest daughter cried in fear when she saw her father angry. Roovers said, stop arguing quickly and run over to coax her daughter to play with a smile.
Luo Wei saw his eyes and suddenly his heart lit up. He knows that if Roovers wants to change his temper and work for the company with peace of mind, he may find an opportunity from his daughter. Because he likes nobody except his daughter. Therefore, Luo Wei started planning.
In order to let Roovers live a full spiritual life, Luo Wei immediately rented a very nice house for him not far from the company, so that their father and daughter could live together. Roovers knew that the company was short of money, and he was sorry and didn't want to stay.
Luo Wei said, "I'm afraid it's not up to you to decide whether to move or not."
"What?" Roovers raised his voice and shouted, "Are you going to force me to stay?"
"Of course I dare not force you, but your daughter Anna has made a decision for you." Luo Wei said: "She said that you are in a bad mood and losing your temper will harm your health. If she could take care of you nearby, you wouldn't lose your temper. Therefore, I must do as Anna asks. "
Roovers' eyes filled with tears after hearing these words. He finally listened to Lao's arrangement and moved into a new house. Roovers is very grateful to Lowe for taking care of himself and has worked harder for the company since then.
Therefore, the clever use of the "third party" sometimes really plays an irreplaceable role. Clever use of the "third party", it is important to give it what it likes and what it itches, which may affect the "key people".