Although everyone can understand, after all, my parents have passed the prime of life, and the focus of life is almost entirely in my home. It's perfectly reasonable to pay attention to me. But when the elders chat, they will start to compare with each other, and my mother will be even worse. Not only does she not like to praise me, but she also likes to hurt me. For example, my uncle just said: Your brother did well in the final exam and was able to enter the top 20 of more than 700 students in the school. My mother replied directly: "My daughter has more than 500 grades, and she has more than 200 normal exams!" " Every time, I can't wait to find the cracks in the ground. Now that I am grown up, I am used to all kinds of discussions about children between parents and relatives. After all, how can the topic of middle-aged people be avoided?
When there is talk between elders, there will be comparisons with each other, especially between brothers and sisters. Although they are all family members, they will definitely get together on holidays. Although everyone is very kind, there are still times when they compete with each other. Once my mother went to my grandmother's house, she would say, "The skirt your second aunt is wearing today is really beautiful. She said that your second sister bought it for her. "
Every time I hear this, I will silently turn on my mobile phone and carefully choose a skirt for my mother. After all, a skirt is a trivial matter, and mom's happiness is the most important thing. My father went to have a drink with my uncle, and when he came back, he would say that the wine was delicious. Your brother bought it online and sent it home, knowing that your uncle liked it. As soon as he said this, I had to ask my brother what brand of wine, ask him for a link, and deliver it home the next day.
When I was a child, other people's children were there, and parents wanted their children to have them. Now that I have grown up, other people's parents have it, and I hope my parents have it. These are all normal, no big deal. My parents have worked hard all their lives. This little vanity should be satisfied as much as possible. In dad's words, his face lit up when he wanted to go out and brag.
However, if anything goes too far, there should be a reasonable limit to the comparison between elders. Some small vanity that is easy to be satisfied in life is harmless, but if you let yourself be dominated by vanity, it is often easy to do bad things.
My cousin planned to get married years ago, and all the invitations were sent out. Everything has been arranged for the hotel wedding, and he is waiting for the wedding to be held as scheduled. Unexpectedly, he suddenly received a phone call from my uncle saying that the wedding was cancelled and my cousin was single again, so that my mother could meet the right girl to help introduce her. What's wrong with that? Later, my mother went to my uncle's house for this matter and cared about what was going on. It turns out that the psychology of comparing with each other between elders is miserable.
Cousin and ex are in free love. At the age of marriage, it is natural that both parents are urging marriage. My uncle is my cousin's son. It can be said that the son is very willing to "get married". The suburb bought by the wedding room is more than 200 square meters, and the house is fully decorated inside and outside. Because my cousin had a car before marriage and usually drove to work, the suburbs were relatively clean after all, so I didn't consider buying a house in the city center at first. At first, the woman heard that the wedding room was in the suburbs, but she was really dissatisfied. But after the renovation, after the family came to see it, there was nothing to be dissatisfied with. My uncle still cares about his son's wedding room. After all, the son has been married once in his life, and parents can't wronged their children.
Unexpectedly, the wedding is coming, and the woman suddenly proposed to change the wedding room. The wedding house must be bought in the center of the city. The house in the center of the city should be at least 150 square meters, and it should not be too different from the house in the suburbs before, otherwise it will lose face. Cousin's family was caught off guard by the woman's sudden request After all, the wedding is about a month away. Changing rooms is not a trivial matter. The original house has been decorated, and you can move in with your bag after marriage. Changing a house has to be decorated. This is not a project that can be completed in a month or so. Invitations have been sent out and all relatives have been informed, but the woman insists on changing the wedding room even if the wedding is postponed. There is nothing wrong with getting married in the future.
My cousin is really helpless. He took the initiative to talk to his parents-in-law. He wants to know why the wedding is coming. He had to change rooms. The father-in-law confessed directly: the daughter of a relative of his father-in-law got married some time ago and had a wedding in another place, but he returned to live in this city. The wedding room is bought in the most prosperous section of the city center. The old man smiled from ear to ear, saying that his daughter found a lover and his son-in-law could make money.
Knowing that my father-in-law's daughter was getting married, I asked which neighborhood the wedding room was in. Unexpectedly, when relatives heard that the wedding room was in the suburbs, they said: The house in the suburbs is no better than the house in the center of the market. After all, it doesn't matter if you are just married and have no children. After having children, children have to endure hardships in school. My father-in-law said, "I spent holidays with this relative when I was a child, and he always looked down on our family." Fortunately, I really didn't
Seeing that her father-in-law was determined and had no room for manoeuvre, my cousin discussed with her predecessor, hoping that she could come forward to persuade her father. After all, the most important thing at present is to get married smoothly. The comparison between the older generation is put aside for the time being, and the day is his own. There is no need to care too much about other people's eyes. I didn't expect my predecessor and parents to think that changing the marriage room is the most important thing at present, saying that my parents have raised themselves for more than 20 years and have been married once in my life. How can they not satisfy their father's wishes?
The two began to argue while chatting. Finally, the predecessor directly said: If the marriage room is not changed, there is no chance of getting married! My cousin was very angry at that time and replied, that's it! Can't wait! My cousin told his uncle that he didn't want to have a wedding. This marriage is not allowed, and his attitude is very firm. He said that he suffered a lot after such an unreasonable family married his in-laws. His uncle always respected his son's idea, so he didn't say much, and began to call relatives and friends one by one to inform them that the wedding was cancelled.
A few days later, the woman's parents came to discuss the house. The woman said that as long as she is willing to change rooms and make up some fees, she still hopes that the two can get married smoothly. Cousin said firmly, "it is absolutely impossible to change rooms. She has already called relatives and friends. The wedding is cancelled! "
The woman began to worry as soon as she heard it, thinking that what my cousin said before was all angry words. I didn't think it was true. My father-in-law immediately said that the wedding room would not be changed and it would be nice to get married. Uncle said: relatives and friends have called and the hotel has returned. You'd better marry someone who is willing to buy a house downtown. Later, my predecessor called my cousin several times and begged and said, "Forget it, just live in the present house." The wedding is still good. After all, I get married once in my life. Don't ruin me. "
Cousin made up her mind that there was no room for manoeuvre and answered her directly: "You ruined you. At the beginning, you had to befriend each other and told me that you would break up your marriage if you didn't change rooms. I really can't afford it! "
My cousin grew up to the letter. Although it is a pity that they all came to the wedding, a good marriage fell through. My cousin also told me that human nature can be seen clearly before marriage, which seems to be a trivial matter. In fact, I can see the huge difference between the two people in their three views. I am afraid of marrying the wrong person if I am not afraid of marrying late.
I can understand the wishes of my elders, so competition between relatives is sometimes inevitable. The older generation is very concerned about face. After all, people live a face, but as said at the beginning, everything should be moderate, enough is enough, and not enough. Especially in some important matters, we should control our vanity, put the big things first, and face is important. But what is important about the happiness of our children?
At the same time, as a child, you can't always listen to your parents. When their ideas conflict with reality, they should take the initiative to convince their parents and communicate with them. After all, getting married is their own business, and they have to make up their own minds, not their parents. Adults should learn to be responsible for their actions.
A friend who works in a wedding company said that after watching too many weddings, everything was planned, the hotel was booked and invitations were sent, but the two sides fell out and the wedding was cancelled. It is not easy for every couple to get married. After all, whose relationship is always smooth sailing? Going to the wedding is a step closer to happiness. The closer you get, the more careful you need to be. After all, there are too many things to take for granted. A good marriage is never meant to be, it is the result of the parties' own efforts!