There is nothing wrong with this in itself. "Poverty and exquisiteness" means that people can live exquisitely when they are poor. This is an attitude towards life and a pride that they don't want to compromise casually. As long as we can afford it today and feel that the money is well spent after consumption, we will naturally feel better and have the motivation to make money again. Of course, if you want to be a poor and exquisite person, the premise is that the money is your own and you can spend it with confidence.
However, there is a kind of person who lives a miserable life, but is ruthlessly squeezed by his family and has almost no money in his hand. He clearly wants to live a poor but exquisite life, but his family belittles his vanity. He can't make his own decisions about the money he earns, but he dare not speak for himself. Live like a marionette, without dignity.
Although I don't earn much money in the metropolis, I can at least be self-sufficient and enjoy a little exquisite life in a limited scope, while Fan in Ode to Joy is not so lucky. Not only have to bear the lives of parents and brothers. Even if there is a problem at home, we must do everything possible to solve it.
Some people may be unconvinced and think that the two should not be compared. After all, Wang Manni doesn't have a brother as disgusting as Fan Meisheng. In fact, before doing something, people will focus on self-cognition, and the inertia of the subconscious mind only plays an auxiliary role. Both of them have the desire to be "poor and exquisite" girls. Although she was not dragged down by her brother, her relationship with Fan and her family origin had a bowl of "poisoned chicken soup".
This bowl of poisoned chicken soup is: as children, always be filial to your parents.
Filial piety is not blind, and there is no contradiction between filial piety and selective obedience to parents. From Wang Manni, we can see not only the ambition to take root in a big city, but also a determination to be independent and not blind.
Did Wang Manni have a good time? Not at all. From food, clothing, housing and transportation to lifelong events, she has to worry about herself, but one thing has always been clear to her, that is, she has never forgotten her initial intention of choosing to stay in a big city. No matter how well-intentioned her parents are, no matter how lonely she is when she is ill, she has never been disturbed by anyone and never wavered in her goals.
Fan, on the other hand, although she also tries to live a fine life with a small salary, her salary is often exploited by her brother before it gets hot in her hands. Just because parents always say a word in front of her: "That's your brother, you can't just ignore it!" " "
Filial piety also needs to be chosen. People's ability is limited, and it is impossible to satisfy all the wishes put forward by their parents. And blind filial piety is called foolish filial piety. When your plans and dreams conflict with your parents' advice, when you drink the poisoned chicken soup of "foolish filial piety" against your will, you will lose yourself and don't know who you live for.
Is it worth lowering yourself to the dust for "foolish filial piety"?
Li Tingting, 28, is at a loss about her future life. She doesn't know how long she will stay at her parents' home. She lives under the same roof with her parents, brother and sister-in-law. After working for seven years, she hasn't saved a penny.
Others say that Big Brother looks like Dad, but Li Tingting has a brother who is as disturbing as Fan. Since my brother got married, his palms have emptied his parents' pockets, and then even his sister's wallet has been spared. Tingting never thought about going out alone, but as long as she mentioned it, her mother would think that she was unmarried and didn't know that rice, oil and salt were expensive. In her mother's original words, "isn't it good to subsidize parents and siblings with the money from renting a house?"
Speechless, Tingting can only be speechless when she hears her parents say such things. Since she was a child, she has listened to her parents more than her brother and dared not express any grievances, because in her mind, parents are the ones who gave birth to themselves. Now that my brother and sister are living in poverty, if the family can help, she will help more. She's family anyway.
Tingting is studying advertising design. Most people in this business wear fashionable clothes. In fact, she is also a well-dressed person. After joining the work, she gradually began to pursue the quality of life. Unfortunately, her mother and sister-in-law have been suppressing this idea and think that she is "poor and exquisite". Tingting thinks that even if she is poor, there is nothing wrong with living exquisitely.
After working for one year, she has a monthly salary of 8,000 yuan, which is the average level for this city. She was going to save 5000 yuan a month and put it in her hand. At the end of the year, she can travel and see the world. However, the mother rudely asked her daughter to hand in the money she had saved, on the grounds that Tingting ate and lived at home, and the family expenses were too big to open the bolt, so she needed money to supplement it.
Tingting didn't dare to refute. She spends this limited 3000 yuan on cosmetics and clothes every month, trying to make herself as exquisite as possible, but in this way, she is also ridiculed as vanity by her mother and sister-in-law. The money earned by my sister-in-law is not as much as Tingting's, and I never gave my mother a penny on weekdays. Where did Tingting spend all the money she gave?
After working in Tingting for six years, the answer was revealed. My parents took the money that Tingting paid every month and saved 300,000 yuan. With the money, they bought a car for my sister-in-law as a means of transportation. Tingting still hears her parents and brother whispering in the kitchen. She was very angry.
Originally, she watched the birth of her little nephew and couldn't bear the poor living standards at home. She felt that even if she lived in her parents' house, it would be appropriate to take out money to supplement it. But what she never expected was that her mother was so partial that she took all the money she earned to buy a car for her sister-in-law, and she obviously had to get up early every day to squeeze an hour by bus to work, okay?
She couldn't help blaming her mother privately: "Mom, have you considered my mood when you do this?" Why can't I be poor and exquisite, but my nephew can buy 300 thousand cars? "The mother felt that her daughter was not qualified to say such things:" Your vanity is different from your sister-in-law. She can give birth to a boy for the Li family, and she is the hero of our family. Buying a car is nothing. Besides, as a girl, you will marry someone else sooner or later. "
Tingting felt a sigh of relief in her throat and her lungs were burning with anger. At this time, she finally understood that even if she was filial to her parents, in their eyes, she was just a tool to make money. My contribution to my family in recent years has never been as important as the concepts of "men are superior to women" and "carrying on the family line" in the eyes of my parents.
After calming down, Tingting began to think: Is it worth it to listen to your parents and lower yourself into the dust in this family? She couldn't swallow this tone because she didn't save a penny and was taken for granted by everyone.
Tingting figured it out, so she left home and moved out. Of course, she will not take the initiative to take money to "subsidize" her family every month. The so-called subsidy is just to help parents in disguise. She doesn't want to continue to do such stupid things, even if her mother jumps over, there is nothing she can do. This time, Tingting intends to make her own decision, whether it is money or her own heart.
Filial piety but not stupidity is the eternal proposition of every child.
Whether you are an only child or have brothers and sisters, you should remember that the person you are most responsible for is actually yourself. Just as parents can't stay with us for a lifetime, we don't have to carry other people's lives on ourselves like a mountain.
Being a wise and targeted filial child actually requires some ideas and determination, and can't follow others' advice. Maybe your family background is different from others', but one thing remains the same-you need to prioritize.
First of all, you must live a good life by yourself to take care of others, and your standard of living is also very important to you. Lowering your living standard to compromise and satisfy others is not worthwhile for the time being, but when you haven't lived a good life yourself, your sacrifice seems a bit swollen.
Incompetent filial piety, like reluctant filial piety, is labeled as filial piety. After drinking the poisoned chicken soup of Yu Xiao, it hypnotized itself in the struggle of unwillingness and distress.
Instead of this, it is better to simply define the relationship with parents from the beginning, Rainbow Manny, who is not blind and does not shrink back, and simply lives according to his own ideas. Even if you are poor, you should live a good life.