One day, two good friends found a candy, they swarmed and grabbed it together. Only the little frog made the elephant smaller. The little frog swallowed the elephant like a pest and finally ate the sugar.
A few days later, the magic disappeared and the elephant burst the frog's stomach. As soon as the elephant came out, the frog died, and there were no more magical frogs in the world.
Teacher's suggestion: it would be nice if the content was expressed in detail! (The process of "grasping" and "grasping" can be written in detail)
Revised edition 1/2 frogs and elephants
Jingning County No.23 Experimental Primary School (4) Ban Lin Shuying
Once upon a time, there was a magical frog named Qiqi and a simple and honest elephant named Dangdang. They are good friends.
One day, two good friends were playing in the suburbs. They found a candy in the grass. They swarmed and grabbed it. The elephant grabbed the candy and just wanted to send it to his mouth with his long nose, but the frog jumped into the elephant's nostrils and took the candy. Sugar was snatched from elephants and frogs, and as a result, no one could eat it.
At this time, the frog used magic to make the elephant smaller. He opened his mouth wide, stuck out his tongue and swallowed the elephant like a pest. Finally, the frog finally ate the candy.
A few days later, the frog's magic disappeared. So the elephant burst the frog's stomach. The frog died as soon as the elephant came out. Since then, there have been no magical frogs in the world. (280 words)
The "good word" magically rushes and fights to take away the stretch and grab the break.
"Good sentence"-I saw him open his mouth, stick out his tongue and swallow the elephant like a pest. So the elephant burst the frog's stomach.
Highlights is well written and imaginative.
Manuscript 2/ 1 land, sea and air transportation
Lin Yuhan Jingning county ethnic primary school Class 4
Twenty years have passed in an instant, and now I am a scientist. Recently, I invented an amphibious vehicle. This car can run on land, at sea and in the air.
This morning, the doctor asked me to go to the laboratory. I got dressed and went to the lab. The doctor pointed to a picture on the computer and said, "There is a tornado in Xinjiang. I hope you can arrive in time to rescue the residents there. " After listening to the doctor's words, I hurried to the garage and drove the "Kadi". After several hours of flight, I finally arrived in Xinjiang. I came there and saw many residents. They were waiting for me, but they didn't know there would be a tornado. When I looked at the sky, I didn't find anything unusual. After a while, I found the wind in the corner of the sky. I think it must be a tornado, I
Haha, this is my story with him. I have many stories with him.
Teacher's suggestion: pay attention to the use of punctuation; The key contents of the exercise should be highlighted: the characteristics and functions of land, sea and air vehicles.
"revision"
2/2 My "Cuddy" car
Lin Yuhan Jingning county ethnic primary school Class 4
In a blink of an eye, twenty years have passed. Now, I am a scientist. Recently, I invented an amphibious vehicle, which I named "Cuddy". "Kadi" cars can not only travel on land, but also sail at sea and fly in the air.
One morning, Dr. QQ knocked me into the lab. I got dressed and quickly came to the lab. Dr QQ pointed to a weather map on the computer and said, "There will be a tornado in Xinjiang. I hope you can get there in time to rescue those residents. " After listening to Dr. QQ's words, I quickly ran to the garage and drove my "Cuddy" car with the remote control. So, I drove the "Kadi" car and only flew for five minutes to Xinjiang.
When I came to Xinjiang, I saw many residents there waiting for me curiously. I explained why, but they didn't know there would be a tornado here! They say there won't be a tornado in such fine weather. I looked at the sky and found nothing unusual. After a while, I found the wind blowing. I thought it must be a tornado. So I let them get in my "Cuddy" car, but they just wouldn't listen to me. I finally persuaded them, and they followed me on the "Cuddy" car. After a while, the tornado really came.
Haha, this is just a short story about me and the "Cuddy" car. In fact, there are many stories about me and the "Cady" car! (480 words)
"Good word" suddenly invented curiosity and abnormal persuasion.
When I came to Xinjiang, I saw many residents waiting for me curiously. -I had a hard time persuading them. They followed me on the "Cuddy" bus.
Highlights is imaginative and interesting.
"manuscript"
3/ 1 Future World
Jingning County No.2 Experimental Primary School Class 5 (6) Zhang Xuanhao
Today, Teacher Ye gave a lecture on "Future World" in her composition class.
Now, we flew from 20 10 to 2090. Our mobile phone now has a screen, and our computer now shuts down automatically. If you want to shut down, just say the word "shut down" and the computer will shut down automatically. Our current roads are all in the sky. What about the roundabout? Our cars are all in the sky. People can fly in the sky, houses here can walk, and houses here can talk. What is more interesting is the air conditioning here. If the air conditioner senses that the room is very hot, it will automatically turn on, and if the room temperature is a little warmer, it will automatically adjust.
Do you think 2090 is fun?
Teacher's suggestion:
The narrative should be clear; Try to be detailed; Pay attention to the use of punctuation.
"revision"
3/2 Future World
Jingning County No.2 Experimental Primary School Class 5 (6) Zhang Xuanhao
What will the future world look like? Come and travel around the world with me in 2090!
Now, I have brought you from the world of 20 10 to the world of 2090. People here use mobile phones with screens, just like talking face to face. The computer here is highly automated and easy to use. The computer is automatically turned on and off. If you want to open them, just say "open" and close them. What's more interesting is that the air conditioner here has a stronger sense of temperature than people. If the air conditioner senses that the room is hot, it will automatically turn on the air conditioner. If the air conditioner senses that the room is cold, it will automatically turn on the heating.
The roads here are all built in the sky, and our cars can hover in the sky at will! And people can fly freely in the sky, so we have many opportunities to get close to birds. More interestingly, the houses here can not only walk, but also talk. They are as affectionate and righteous as we humans.
The world in 2090 was wonderful. Do you think it's funny? (370 words)
"Good word" induces free flight, hovering and free flight.
Good word-the roads here are all built in the sky, and our cars can hover in the sky at will! More interestingly, the houses here can not only walk, but also talk. They are as affectionate and righteous as we humans.
Highlights is imaginative and interesting.
"manuscript"
4/ 1 I make friends with immortals.
Jingning County No.2 Experimental Primary School Class 4 (7) Xu Chenxi
"Are there any immortals in the world?" I've thought about this question. Have you thought about this question? I want to fly to the sky today and make friends with the gods.
My friend and I made a pair of wings to help me fly to the sky. The wings are ready. I put on my wings, climbed the mountain and jumped down. Then, I waved my hands up and down and flew into the sky.
Wow! Heaven is really beautiful, just like a magnificent palace and a sweet dream ... I walked around the heaven and suddenly heard someone say, "Today, I stole a lot of good wine from the Jade Emperor." "Gee, I also stole a lot of fresh jade liquid from the old jade emperor big princess!" "You are not practical!" Suddenly, a "monster" with red hair stood up and said, "Look, I stole a lot of gold and silver jewelry from the old jade emperor. Let's go to the world and have a good time! " After listening to these conversations, I was very angry and decided to report to the Jade Emperor.
One day, there was an emergency meeting in heaven, and I secretly followed. The Jade Emperor said at the meeting, "We lost a lot of things in the sky yesterday. Which fairy stole them?" I want to hand it in, but if I hand it in, do I have proof? I'd better go home! So I put on my wings and flew home.
Teacher's suggestion: reflect a certain theme.
"revision"
4/2 heaven and earth
Jingning County No.2 Experimental Primary School Class 4 (7) Xu Chenxi
"Are there any immortals in the world?" I've thought about this question. Have you thought about this question? I think there must be immortals in the world. How I want to fly to heaven to meet them!
So, I made a pair of wings, and I want to fly to the sky. The wings are ready. I can't wait to put them on and walk up the hill. I stood on the top of the mountain and jumped down, then waved my hands up and down. Soon, I flew into the sky like a bird.
Wow, heaven is really beautiful! Gorgeous palaces, spacious and tidy streets, carefree immortals ... I seem to have entered a sweet dream. I walked around the sky and suddenly heard a fairy say, "Today, I stole a lot of good wine from the old jade emperor." "Hey, I also stole a lot of fresh jade liquid from Jade Emperor big princess!" "You are not practical!" Suddenly, a "monster" with red hair stood up and said, "Look, I stole a lot of gold and silver jewelry from the old jade emperor. Let's go to the world and have a good time! " After listening to these conversations, I was very angry and decided to report to the Jade Emperor.
The next day, the heaven held an emergency meeting, and I secretly followed it. The Jade Emperor said at the meeting, "Yesterday, we lost a lot of things in the sky. Which fairy stole it? " I want to report it, but I have no proof! I thought, "These immortals are not good things. I'd better go home! " "So, I put on my wings and flew home.
People say it's fine. What's so good about it? The best is all good, but our warm world!
(5 10 words)
"Good word" can't wait to wave a resplendent, spacious, clean, carefree and sweet liquid.
"Good sentence"-resplendent palaces, spacious and tidy streets, carefree immortals ... I seem to have entered a sweet dream. -"You see, I stole a lot of gold and silver jewelry from the Jade Emperor. Let's go to the world and have fun! "
The "bright spot" sentence is fluent, the combination of reality and reality is rich in imagination.
"manuscript"
5/ 1 fantasy story
Ye Yongfeng, Class 7, No.2 Experimental Primary School, Jingning County
Black Slow Eight is a magical snake, and its snake skin is very beautiful.
I want to be black and slow, because I bit others and others can escape, but when others are hungry, I can smell others' breath and catch up. When they close the door, I can go into their house and eat them. When they board the spaceship, I can also enter the spaceship and go with them. I can also breathe in the universe, because its lungs can make oxygen. If others escape to the glass house, they can't breathe.
So other people don't like going up the mountain for fear of being bitten by men in black. I remind you not to be bitten by that black man! Otherwise, it will be eaten by the black slow eight.
Teacher's suggestion: pay attention to the use of punctuation; Some contents and sentences are not clear, so we should correct them.
"revision"
5/2 whimsical story
Ye Yongfeng, Class 7, No.2 Experimental Primary School, Jingning County
Black slow eight is a magical snake, and I dream of becoming black slow eight.
On this day, I really became a black man. Black Slow Eight's hobby is cannibalism, and he really wants to taste cannibalism. So, I took a bite of A and A ran away. However, A happened to be hungry at this time, and I smelled his hunger. So, I chased A home, and A quickly closed the door. A felt safe, but I turned into a gust of wind, went into his house and ate him. B saw it, got on the spaceship and went to heaven. I follow, I can breathe in the universe, because my lungs can make oxygen. The same result, I ate B and C. When I saw this, I fled to a glass house. He's not breathing. He's dead. If I bite others again, others will be as miserable as ABC!
However, I still want to remind everyone not to be bitten by men in black! Otherwise, I will become a "cannibal".
(300 words)
The magical taste of "good words" creates a tragic reminder.
"Good Sentence"-Black Slow Eight is a magical snake, and I dream of becoming Black Slow Eight. -However, I still want to remind everyone, don't be bitten by the black slow eight!
"Highlights" are imaginative.
"manuscript"
6/ 1 whimsical king
Jingning county experimental No.2 and No.3 class leaves
My dream is to do nothing and be a wise king.
One day, the detector found that the sea level in Shanghai was rising gradually, which would lead to floods in China. In the Arctic, some ice in the south is melting, so several oceans will be submerged. The global temperature rises in summer, which easily leads to the earth becoming a desert.
It is necessary to create a "Earth" in 2009. First of all, astronauts and scientists will be brought to Mars by modern science and technology, and some robot inventors will stay on the earth. Invent many robots to help us in 2070. The earth must first create an atmosphere to prevent air from leaking out. Plant many trees in it, so that there will be air. With trees, there is water.
In 2070, when this disaster comes, the water will flood the earth, and those robots will go out to rescue those trapped in the water. However, there is still a crack in the earth on Mars. Seeing that both water and fire are on the "earth", these robots have appeared to resist water and fire again, and their strength is running out. This crack has also been mended.
There is hope as long as you persist.
Teacher's suggestion: some sentences are verbose, and redundant words can be deleted; The expression of meaning should be clear and definite, and attention should be paid to the logical connection between things; Before and after the content should correspond; The content must correspond to the topic.
"revision"
6/2 whimsical to be king
Jingning county experimental No.2 and No.3 class leaves
My dream is to do nothing and be a wise king.
One day, the detector reported to the "King of Wisdom" that the sea level in Shanghai was rising gradually, which would lead to the whole China being submerged. Global temperature rise will easily lead to the earth becoming a desert; Some ice south of the Arctic is melting, which will cause several continents to be submerged. ...
After receiving the report, the "King of Wisdom" thought carefully: to create a modern science and technology base of Mars "Earth" in 20 10, ask astronauts to send scientists to Mars and let them establish a second global village on Mars; Some inventors stayed on the earth and let them invent many robots. The outer layer of the earth must also be the atmosphere to prevent air from leaking out. Then plant trees in the atmosphere. If there are trees, there will be water, and if there is water, there will be air. ...
In 2070, when disaster befalls the earth, water will drown it. I saw that the "King of Wisdom" sent a robot to save those who were trapped in the water. However, cracks appeared in the global village on Mars. Seeing that the fire was about to burn to the earth, these robots withstood the fire again. When the strength of these robots is about to run out, this crack has also been filled. The earth was saved, and the "King of Wisdom" asked scientists to transfer some people from the earth to Mars. Since then, there has been an era of peace and prosperity on earth.
Dreams come true, and I have a whimsical king addiction. Haha, comfortable! (500 words)
The wisdom of "good words" gradually leads to invention, arrival, cracking and resistance to addiction.
My dream is to do nothing and be a wise king. -dreams come true, and I have had a whimsical king addiction. Haha, comfortable!
"Highlights" are rich in knowledge and have a strong sense of protecting the earth.