I used to love myself and others, but I was more afraid when I was loved.
I once said to my sister, "Under no circumstances will I buy toys for my children." "I want to go to the company to build a group, and I don't have time to go to the hospital to accompany my little nephew." After going out with my boyfriend, I said, "This is the way I love you the most. Can't be better. " . When I used to teach my sister to do homework, I couldn't help shouting, "Why can't I do this topic?" . As a result, I often buy toys for my children now; My nephew said that birthday gifts should be the most fashionable clothes, and I said links; My sister still tolerates me as before and always takes care of me; When my ex-boyfriend became a dad, I always felt that I didn't love him enough. My sister became the highest educated person in the family, although both she and I still remember the hurt I gave her and her secret crying.
I used to be ridiculous in retrospect, and even feel like an idiot. I feel that my sister and father are very tolerant of me. Even in this case, they still accompany me, love me and wait for me. In fact, I just didn't have enough consciousness at that time, and my cognition hindered my way of expressing love. I thought it was shameful to play at that time, and I was not allowed to have the idea of playing; Falling in love is wrong, learning is the most important, and falling in love is not important; Work is the most important thing, and everything else is a drag.
Slowly, I felt the love of my family and friends.
Love is when I am pregnant, when I just feel uncomfortable sleeping beside me, my husband has bought a pillow for the pregnant woman in advance; It was my second sister who came from her hometown to cook for me for a month after hearing about the diet of confinement in the north.
Love is the selfless tolerance and concern of your family for all your shortcomings; No interest, no feedback, whether received or not; Even if it's just a simple repetition of "be alone outside, take care of yourself and pay attention to safety".
Love is that friends care about you bit by bit; Is a friend, when he saw you sad, sad, fragile, not indifferent, not tyrannical, but accompanied me to clean up, guiding me to focus.
So, I also slowly learned to love.
When mom and dad work hard and don't want to retire and don't know how to play, buy their parents an updated smartphone and teach them to play WeChat and Tik Tok.
When my second sister was frightened before giving birth to the baby, I invited her to feel the learning I had felt, hoping that she could accept her own advantages and selfishness and accept the uncertain future of the baby.
When the baby's father is at a loss, simply accompany and trust him to be the backing he doesn't need to worry about the most; So that he can imagine his future without pressure.
When friends need help, I will share and give selflessly; Always thinking, what can I give this friend in front of me?
Me, too. I'm often at a loss and don't know how to express my love.
I'm afraid I can't feel the situation of my family and friends because of my lack of experience; I'm afraid I don't know the help my family and friends need because I don't know enough; I'm afraid I really can't give it.
So, I choose my own good field, health, good life, risk management planning; Let yourself experience and feel as much as possible, so as to learn to love more.