Emotion can be controlled in some situations. The people who are best at controlling emotions should be singers and actors, because emotions are part of the stage where they perform. They will interpret the emotions needed for performance through singing, language, expression and body movements. In their professional training, there are courses to learn to express different emotions. Therefore, through a series of training, the purpose of controlling emotions can be achieved. This is different from adults controlling their emotions and not expressing them. Most adults control their emotions, but they are actually depressed. Of course, singers and actors need their own physical abilities to control their emotions and use them. After controlled use, it is a kind of consumption and needs to be supplemented. If these people control their emotional expression in their daily life outside of work, they will consume too much psychological energy, for example, they will suffer from mental illness for a long time if they always wear a personality mask to work and live.
Emotion is valuable. One person's emotions can sometimes satisfy another person's emotions. Why is the reward for writing a few words in an advertising copy dozens of times more than that for writing a novel by a freelance writer? Because they paid "the emotional labor that customers have to fart for half a day", part of which is salary and part of which is emotional value. All occupations that explicitly require "no dissatisfaction" and have standard service specifications to meet customer needs actually include the return of "emotional labor". The higher the emotional requirements, the higher the return, so the income of flight attendants is higher than that of train attendants, and the income of waiters in star-rated hotels is higher than that of ordinary hotels. In addition to the product itself, salespeople sell themselves to make customers agree with the value of your other needs. Some salespeople can also meet customers' needs and make them happy, but without a step to make customers recognize their value, there may be a gap from the transaction.
It is an ability to meet the emotional needs or requirements of others at work. This is "emotional intelligence" in the sense of the workplace, but it is not a real emotional intelligence. The obedience of employees to their superiors is not only the obedience in the sense of work, but also the exchange of emotional values. Because in addition to the tasks assigned by the superior, employees should also obey the guidance of the supervisor in any attitude, which can be angry accusations, malicious reprimands, long-winded instructions, unreasonable, leadership posture orders and so on. According to the internet, one of the big reasons for employees leaving their jobs is that they are not given enough money, and the other is that they are unhappy. If analyzed from the above perspective, unhappiness means that employees' emotional efforts are not recognized by others, or they are exchanged for bonuses and performance appraisal scores, so they meet the emotional needs of others outside of work and have no psychological or material value. Therefore, the reason why employees leave is that the value is not given in place, including material and psychological. This kind of meeting other people's emotional needs or requirements at work is more like a hidden working ability. What kind of specific needs and forms are usually expressed in the atmosphere of corporate culture.
Emotions should not be manipulated in secret. Whether in the workplace or in love, there is PUA phenomenon, and some routines can help you "pursue" or "manage" others. In my opinion, the biggest debt of manipulating others to others is that they don't give each other the corresponding value, and they also hurt people's value in action or language. In the workplace, meeting other people's emotional needs, even control, can be said to be an ability, and it is fair to be able to exchange for excessive wages. When the superior refuses to recognize the subordinate employees continuously, or the emotional value is not exchanged, employees will doubt their self-worth, which will make them feel that their emotional value is very cheap, and in the long run, they will lose confidence. Why do you often hear the so-called control phenomenon? Because not everyone grew up in a complete family, there are always things and events that people don't want to talk about. These are the shadows of our theory. It's like Achilles' heel. If it is discovered, it will be routine. Therefore, as a kind and serious person, even if he knows the weaknesses of others, he can't manipulate others with these weaknesses, but should care about others and achieve good emotional communication.
In love, unlike in the workplace, there is also a controlling party. In fact, there may be many psychological shadows in my heart. If both sides are unhappy in the end, it is hard to say who is the victim. Because in the later period of their relationship, their behaviors, words and ways of expressing their emotions are different. One side feels worried, the other side feels in control. One side feels the need for privacy, while the other side feels indifference. Therefore, the two sides who can finally get together must have a lot in common. The most important thing is that the emotional way should be similar, which can make the other side agree and agree.
Original link: emotional law (2): the value of emotion-pure heart ripples