Couples get married, that is, the day when men and women put a bar.
First, the comparison between the old and new wedding customs in Guangzhou
The old-fashioned wedding customs in Guangzhou have been running through the ancient traditional wedding customs in the Central Plains, and the ancient wedding customs in the Central Plains originated from Zhou Li's six rituals, including accepting gifts, asking names, accepting gifts, inviting guests and welcoming relatives. It's complicated and can't be taken lightly. The order of old-fashioned weddings in Guangzhou is probably like this:
(1) Sending Nian Geng is called "asking the name" in ancient times, that is, the woman's Geng paste, commonly known as "asking the eight characters". The man asked the matchmaker about her name and date of birth. After the woman received the Geng sticker, she wrote "Kun was born on a certain day, a certain month, a certain time" in red Cambodia, and the matchmaker took it back to the man's house. The man put the boxer paste of the woman's family in front of the ancestor's case or in the rice jar for 3-7 days. If there are no broken utensils at home and something unlucky happens, give the woman and the man to the fortune teller for calculation. If both men and women are pregnant, the marriage will end in case of the collision of the eight characters.
After the May 4th New Culture Movement, intellectuals in Guangzhou began to advocate free love, which basically broke the feudal shackles of parents' arrangement and arbitrary media. Through the introduction of the matchmaker, young men and women can meet directly. If both parties agree, the man will seal the "profit market" (meaning a red envelope) to express his gratitude to the matchmaker. Nowadays, although there are more contacts between men and women than before, the matchmaker is still in Guangzhou because of the existence of many older men and women. The matchmaker just holds the needle and lets the right person meet the right person at the right time, which is also a merit and doesn't care about the profit of the matchmaker.
(2) Small betrothal gift means that after the family of both men and women exchange ages, they write "double characters" on the book of dragon and phoenix gifts and give them to their parents together with the betrothal gift to decide their engagement. At this point, the in-laws relationship is established. Today, this practice in Guangzhou is equivalent to an engagement ceremony. Some young men and women are more particular, and the engagement ceremony is more serious, so they treat people and hold banquets.
(3) The big engagement is a ceremony in which two in-laws exchange betrothal gifts before marriage. The bride price given by the man to the woman should include gift money, couplets, fish, duck eggs, seafood, cigarettes, gift cakes, candy, betel nuts, etc. The woman came back with candy, chess cakes, clothes, wallets, shoes and socks worn by the groom. This process cannot be ignored, and there are some details to pay attention to:
1. The bride who is crying and getting married is under house arrest at this time, which is called "living in the cabinet" or "going to the cabinet". Invite some girlfriends of similar age to accompany you (accompany the pavilion) and start "lamenting", that is, crying for marriage. Generally speaking, they lament their parents' kindness, loathe their parents, and scold the matchmaker for cutting off their parents' feelings with their daughters. This custom is very popular in all provinces and regions, such as the crying marriage of Tujia girls in Hunan, which is necessary. Some last two months, and some last ten and a half months. It is not only a parting message, but also a parting message. Others are often moved to tears, which shows that crying to get married is a celebration. But up to now, Guangzhou has basically played down this custom. Married women are reluctant to go, but happiness and auspiciousness are the strongest colors in festive days. Now the girls to be married are all laughing and singing, so sweet that they can't even cry.
2. Before marriage, it is an important procedure for the man who has settled down in bed to decorate his new house, which is related to whether both men and women can be happy, have children and have a lasting relationship after marriage. Therefore, it is necessary to choose a good day for the bed, invite a "good woman" with rich family and full of children and grandchildren to preside over the ceremony, put all kinds of offerings in the new house, decorate a new bed, and read four sentences: "Grow old together for a hundred years, Fu Lu Yuanyang, Qin Dun is good in color and the bed is full of teeth." There is a very satisfying custom here. If the child is put on the bed, it will be more auspicious if it happens that the child can soak in the urine.
(4) Dowry This is a very complicated wedding etiquette, such as daily necessities. In addition to the bed, we can see the wealth of the woman's family. As the saying goes, "marry a woman close to her family" (meaning to pay all her property to marry a daughter) is not false at all. The rich dowry shows the position of women in the in-laws in the future. Today, in the historical environment where men and women tend to be equal, dowry simply does not exist. Generally speaking, there are gold and silver jewelry (only one or two symbolic items are enough to represent the blessings of parents and elders), clothes for the four seasons, bedding curtains, splendid flower pillows, poker, scissors, cups and plates, tables and chairs, cabinets, lacquerware pots and pans, knives, rulers and fingers, etc. One of the absolutely indispensable things is the "children's bucket" (toilet), the outside of which is painted red. Today, this bucket is replaced by a red high-legged blanket jar, but this custom can never be exempted.
(V) Wedding Ceremony This is the most striking ceremony in the whole wedding. In ancient times, men had to hire professional guards of honor in advance, including high lanterns, big lanterns, colorful pavilions, colorful flags, eight-tone gongs and drums, sedan chairs and so on. Nowadays, it is replaced by a luxury car, which usually goes to the woman's door in good times and shouts loudly at the door, while the bridesmaid's best friend inside closes the door and says, "Open the door to benefit the market." There are two doors to open this door, one is a door, and the other is a "boudoir" door, which is particularly difficult to open. The girlfriends tried their best to "make things difficult" for the groom. Some asked him to do a hundred push-ups, some asked him to sing and confess, and some asked him to dance to show the agility of the new couple. The scene was very lively. At this time, the eloquent groomsmen and bridesmaids add a lot of fun. As troublemakers, they are inevitably "getting off to a good start", which usually means good luck, ranging from "888" to "666" and "288" to "168". The higher the skills of female partners, the higher the profits they get, and the profits are shared by female partners. The boudoir door is not so easy to open! The man asked the whole family to look for the woman's shoes, and then he couldn't open the door if he couldn't find them. The groom personally put on new shoes for the bride, and the two happily walked out of the boudoir hand in hand, which can be regarded as preserving the ancient "marriage" tradition.
Then the bride and groom say goodbye to their parents. The groom should tell his parents-in-law that he can safely give his daughter to me, and then the groom always carries the bride on the new car, which is a truth that should be kept in mind since ancient times. The parents of the bride's family had to send their daughter home. If the bride has a younger brother, the younger brother needs to accompany her sister to the groom's house, commonly known as "uncle". There is another saying here, that is, "uncle's shoes" and "aunt's skirt" must not be vague, and the man must pay for new shoes and skirts for his brother and sister, which can be regarded as the facade of his family.
The route chosen by the car to pick up the bride is very long and exquisite: Guangzhou people like to make detours no matter how far or near, and they must pass through: Jixiang Road, Hengfu Road, changshou road and other roads symbolizing auspiciousness and wealth. The car to pick up the bride arrived at the man's door. The groom must also take physical exercise and see the bride to the door. They will cross the brazier on the threshold, go to the church side by side with the groom to worship heaven and earth, turn around and worship their ancestors, and then the husband and wife will worship each other. I would also like to invite the "birthday boy" to bless the bride and groom, hold high the jade and praise the bride three times, saying, "Many blessings and many men, great wealth and great luck." After the blessing, Li Sheng (now known as the master of ceremonies) shouted a tribute: "Hongliang and Meng Guang, the five generations have achieved prosperity together, * * * tied the knot with one heart, attracting red as the bridal chamber." Then give a long red cloth to the groom and lead the bride into the bridal chamber. Now these procedures have been simplified, but they have not been cancelled. Then, a ceremony will be held to open the curtain. The bride and groom will sit side by side on the edge of the bed and put down the curtains. The "lucky girl" will sprinkle red chopsticks on the front and back of the curtains, wishing the bride "an early birth". After that, "Fu Nv" will feed the bride and groom lotus seed soup, which means "having children", and soaking in a glass of wine is also a traditional program.
Then, the male family entertains guests from both sides, which is called a "new hug" banquet. It is a big banquet for guests, and everyone drinks "new hug tea". Now equality between men and women is manifested in the behavior of marriage between the two parties. The wedding banquet was hosted by both parties, and the scene was even more huge. After the banquet, it is inevitable to have new houses, mostly cousins, brothers and sisters, friends and classmates of the bride and groom. Nowadays, there is a trend to move to karaoke, which is convenient for everyone to enjoy themselves and does not hinder their wedding.
The last item of the wedding is the return from the Three Dynasties, which is also called "mothering", that is, the bride and groom stay with the bride for three days, and then go back to their parents' home to send a golden pig to show their gratitude to the woman's family for training such an excellent daughter-in-law for the man's family.
Although these customs are complicated, although times have changed and ceremonies have been simplified a lot, they are still very tired. However, people only get married once in their lives, even if they are tired again, it is worth it. Now they are married, and the whole process is filmed with a video camera and burned into a VCD, which is memorable.
The above is the change of the old and new wedding customs in Guangzhou, which generally follows the old customs, but in any case, auspiciousness, cheerfulness and happiness are still the main melody melody.
The following marriage customs have basically disappeared, but they are some old customs that have to be mentioned in Guangzhou folk customs. Here I briefly describe that I have the right to remember the customs and feelings of the past.
Second, "the rooster gets married"
In the past, there was a bad habit in Guangzhou, which was to marry the bride and groom with a rooster instead. This is the expression of unequal marriage. Its historical root is that many children living outside Guangdong want to find a woman to take care of their elderly parents in their hometown when they get married, so they have formed the bad habit of "cock not bride". Everything is the same as a formal wedding, except that the groom is a cock. The tragic fate of women is only the beginning. Some women have been widowed all their lives, so there has been a "cotton bollworm". This kind of marriage is sad, a product of feudal poverty, an unequal marriage, and has basically disappeared up to now.
Third, ghost marriage.
Compared with the unequal marriage of "the rooster marries on his behalf", ghost marriage is more vivid, which is an ironic phenomenon in Guangzhou's vulgar marriage in the past.
The so-called ghost marriage or ghost marriage means that both parents marry their children who died before marriage. Generally speaking, the dates are chosen in Tomb-Sweeping Day in March, Yulan Festival in July and Double Ninth Festival in September. Weddings with more formal procedures are relatively simple, and this bad habit basically disappeared after the founding of the People's Republic of China.
Fourth, plug, cross the head and the virgin Mary
It is called "blocking" to postpone the wedding date of siblings because their brothers and sisters are not married; If a sister marries before her brother or sister, it is called "going too far". There is a taboo in Guangzhou that "it's inconvenient to block the head, but the taboo today is to send New Pants to ward off evil spirits and eliminate disasters, which has passed.
In the past, women in Guangzhou paid the most attention to chastity, and there were virtuous women, married women and virgins everywhere. There are three reasons for this:
1, the husband cannot remarry after his death, and others are not allowed to remarry.
2. After being widowed, you can't be suspected of Guatian and Li Xia, otherwise you will be killed.
There is a kind of person who feels it is a shame to share a room with others. He evaded marriage or simply ran away from home and asked her husband to marry another concubine to make himself "clean". After the promulgation and implementation of the new marriage law after 1958, the freedom of marriage enabled women to have equal and free marriages.
Five, self-decoration and home
Dressing up and staying at home is a deformed custom that arose in the late Qing Dynasty under the feudal system. You may still remember the Hong Kong film The Red Scarf in the 1980s, which described the tragic experience of a self-grooming girl, which can basically be said to be a true historical record of the tragic life of a self-grooming girl. Now, with the development of the times, self-dressed girls gradually disappear.
Guangzhou is the economic center of the Pearl River Delta, especially Shunde, Nanhai, Panyu, Zhongshan and other counties. The prosperity of capitalist industry and commerce, especially the silk reeling industry, has created an independent new generation of women. In order to avoid hardship and childbirth in the man's house after marriage, they vowed never to get married after making a living. "menstruation's home" is probably familiar to everyone. It is a place where self-decorated women live. Self-decorating women are economically independent, usually with their own housekeeping skills, and they can be economically independent without relying on men.
Stay at Home has the same background as a girl who dresses herself. If you can't "comb up", you will avoid sleeping with your husband with the help of your friends, and then you will be single after "returning home three times". This is called marriage, but in fact you are single, commonly known as "house". These customs gradually disappeared after the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC). Today, when men and women tend to be equal, I believe that in the near future, "self-grooming women" and "aunt's room" will all become the precipitation of history.
Sixth, re-enter the candle.
There is also a very interesting and peculiar custom in Guangzhou, that is, after 60 years of marriage, the old couple will hold another wedding, commonly known as "re-inserting flowers and candles" or "rearranging golden marriages". That is, in addition to being married for 60 years, husband and wife must also meet the following conditions:
1, the wife is the original match.
2. Son, daughter-in-law, daughter, son-in-law, grandson and grandson are all complete.
The old couple are in good health.
4. The family is well-off.
Because not many people want to meet the above conditions, it is particularly precious. Its ceremony is more grand than the first marriage, and everyone is very happy.
However, there are many popular "silver wedding", "diamond wedding" and "bronze wedding", but no matter what form, they are just a kind of respect and celebration for marriage and a kind of good wish and expectation for future life.
Marriage is an important moment in one's life. Traditional customs are full of fun, adding infinite joy to the wedding. Now men and women tend to be equal. At the same time, we should respect marriage, create marriage and safeguard marriage based on the principle of equality and freedom.
I believe in marriage, I love marriage, and I look forward to it. Although I know that the wedding has to bear complicated customs and habits, I am willing to bear all the sweet joy.