Therefore, there are many standards to consider: economic income, family status, face value, nature of work, RV status, family background ... These standards are not unreasonable, but they are not the only standards.
The drama that has been chasing for thirty years recently has a brand-new answer to this question.
In marriage and love, whether you and he (she) can be happy together for a long time depends on whether you are equal and convergent with what you cherish and what you can give each other.
In short, what you cherish is also precious to him (her); What you fight for is also valuable to him or her.
In a big way, it is the unity of the three views. Specifically, it is mainly reflected in the following three attitudes that are closely related to our lives.
The love between Wang Manni and Liang Zhengxian in the play gives us a perfect answer.
0 1, attitude towards money.
Wang Manni in the play is a foreign girl who works in Shanghai and sells luxury goods. Money has always been her weakness.
She sends money to her parents every month to pay high rent, food, clothing, housing and transportation, and occasionally shares the compensation for stolen items with other shop assistants, so that even eating becomes a problem.
In order to realize economic freedom, she went out early and returned late, and worked overtime economically. In order to sell a bag, she even paid off the security guard who managed the garage door of the mall with breakfast.
Even so, a landlord's rent increase can make her pay all the efforts. Wang Manni was awarded a trip to Europe by the company for selling one million pieces of jewelry.
She knows that the opportunity is rare and she is deeply under economic pressure. After learning the difference between the economy class and the high-end executive class where she lives, it is even harder to hide her disappointment.
For this trip, she bought a pair of high-heeled shoes with primer to prevent damage, and her friend Gu Jia lent her two sets of high-grade skirts to support her face.
As soon as she got on the cruise ship, she felt lost when she entered the narrow and closed economy class, which was no different from a cheap hotel. The desire to upgrade to senior management and the lack of money have launched a tug-of-war in her mind.
Then she gave up the free restaurant in economy class and went to a restaurant with a better environment at her own expense. So, she met Liang Zhengxian, the prince charming she thought.
Unlike Wang Manni, Liang Zhengxian is a financial liberal.
Because of economic freedom, he offered to help Wang Manni upgrade from economy class to business class.
He can sit in the best position in the restaurant by virtue of his economic advantage;
You can also eat unusual food on cruise ships. ...
All this is easy for Liang Zhengxian, but difficult for Wang Manni.
Two people together, the biggest economic irony is that Liang Zhengxian gave Wang Manni a car. For Liang Zhengxian, it's just a wave of his hand and nine Niu Yi hairs, but for Wang Manni, it's something he didn't even think about for years.
Ironically, Wang Manni is not happy about owning a car. The high parking fee and the cost of keeping the car worried her. The monthly expenditure of 2000 yuan is really a big expense for her.
As she said, buying a car is nothing, and keeping a car is amazing. It's like a prince who regards her as a princess and builds a castle, but she can't even afford a servant to clean the castle, so she can only be a servant herself.
In order to save a few hundred dollars in parking fees, she would rather park her car in a parking lot far from the shopping mall and walk to work.
As for her reluctance to damage the brand high-heeled shoes with glue, Liang Zhengxian was also generous and bought her several pairs.
Luxury whisky, you can order a case with flavor;
After delivery, you can give Wang Manni a card that you can swipe at will. ...
The contradiction behind the economic gap is that their attitudes towards money are completely different.
02, the pattern is different.
Although Wang Manni is a luxury salesman and she has met countless rich people, the gap between her and the rich is self-evident.
The rich go to shops to buy clothes, goods and services, while Wang Manni earns basic living expenses from the rich.
Her daily routine is how not to be late for work, not to leave early, how to grab goods, please customers, deal with intrigue among colleagues, worry about age, illness and promotion. ...
In order to gain a foothold in Shanghai, she scrimped and saved. The cruise in Europe is a rare opportunity for her, and it may be the only opportunity in her life.
For Liang Zhengxian, traveling around the world is normal;
On the cruise, he woke up in another country, which made him enjoy it;
Wherever you go, you must enjoy the most unique scenery and food in this place;
Try extreme and novel sports and adventure projects everywhere;
Pick up girls and look forward to an affair ...
Therefore, there are obvious differences between Wang Manni and Liang Zhengxian in vision and mode.
In this difference, incomprehension and contempt will quietly breed.
When the assistant manager of Wang Manni Store resigned due to physical reasons, Wang Manni had a good chance to win this position, which was a dream for her who was about to turn 30, so she cherished it more and worked overtime at home to make plans and strive for perfection. But in Liang Zhengxian's eyes, all this is just two questions: "Is it worth it?" "Is it necessary?"
03. Attitude towards emotion.
For Liang Zhengxian, Wang Manni secretly promised, but her heart was hesitant, because she was serious, loyal and unique, and longed for it for a long time.
Therefore, in the face of Liang Zhengxian's initial pursuit, she repeatedly refused;
After the relationship goes further, she will observe whether there is a mark left by wearing a wedding ring on the ring finger of Liang Zhengxian's left hand;
She will entrust someone to investigate Liang Zhengxian's information in Hong Kong and make sure that he has a single certificate and is unmarried before letting him out.
Her gift to Liang Zhengxian is also a suitcase, engraved with two people traveling together to see if Liang Zhengxian can carry it with him.
When she receives a car from Liang Zhengxian, she will summon up the courage to ask Liang Zhengxian in what capacity, whether she is a friend or a girlfriend. ...
But Liang Zhengxian's answer is: Don't associate gifts with relationships.
But Liang Zhengxian doesn't seem to care about everything about Wang Manni, including her love history and their future.
He never asked or cared about Wang Manni's past, and he was neither committed nor sure about their future. He only exchanged his own money for the temporary happiness of the other party.
Therefore, in view of the above three differences, I believe that no matter in the drama or in real life, such two people will not come together, and even if they are barely married, they will not be happy.
Because in the subsequent relationship, they will find that all the problems will point to one place:
All the efforts of one person will be insignificant to another; The virtues and ethics cherished by one person are pedantic and ridiculous to another.
So, how can we be happy!
If you are also faced with the choice of marriage and love, I hope the content of this article can arouse your thinking and strengthen your choice.
In addition, no matter what stage you are in love and marriage, learning and growth are essential.
This can neither be completed overnight, nor can it be solved in one sentence and one article.
Some more professional courses in marriage psychology may be more helpful to your marriage period.