1. What's so important about the bride's return?

2. What does Huimen pay attention to? What is Huimen?

3. What does the so-called door recognition in Beijing mean?

4. What should I pay attention to when I return to China in three days? The more specific the better.

5. What's the point of going back to the door?

6. What is recognition?

What does the bride have to pay attention to when she comes home? Also known as "mothering", that is, "returning home".

The taboo of returning to the bride's family is mostly about the bride, but it refers to the taboo items of the bride's returning to her family.

In Henan, in addition to the above-mentioned taboo of going back to your mother's house to watch lights on the fifteenth day of the first month, you should also avoid offering sacrifices to stoves and going back to your mother's house on the first day of the first month.

Because women don't sacrifice stoves, they don't ask their daughters to go back to their parents' homes on the day of sacrifice.

The first day of the first month is the beginning of a year, and the water spilled by the married daughter is married to her husband's family.

On New Year's Day, it is naturally inconvenient for the whole family to get together and go back to their parents' home.

The fifteenth day of the first month is also the first full moon day of the year, fearing that the daughter-in-law will not be reunited with her family when she returns home.

So it's usually the second day of the first month and the sixteenth day of the first month.

In order to take care of the reunion and celebration of both parties to the marriage.

There is a saying in Luyi County that "please (girl) on the 16th day of the first month, and deliver it on the 2nd of February. Don't get sick".

In Zhejiang and other places, old brides are forbidden to go home on the winter solstice.

Otherwise, I thought I would kill my husband's parents.

As the saying goes, "my mother's family lives for a winter, and my husband's family goes to work."

"Jiangsu also has this custom.

However, the reason is different, that is, if the winter solstice is spent in the bride's house, the bride's house will decline.

The custom of returning to her parents' home on June 6 in northern Shaanxi is said to be to contact her in-laws' feelings, when she will invite her daughter and son-in-law home for reunion.

Henan also has this custom, but it is related to the season of wheat harvesting and threshing.

As the saying goes, "When the wheat harvest is over and the game is over, there will be no girl to look after her mother." .

My father-in-law died when my daughter didn't visit her mother. "

The taboo of returning to the door is to let the bride abide by the communication order, and she must not return to the door when she should not, otherwise something will happen; When it's time to go back, you must go back, or something terrible will happen.

Generally, on the third day of marriage, the bride and groom will go back to visit their parents, but they must return to their husband's house before sunset that night, because the new house cannot be empty.

In Linxian County, Henan Province, the bride goes back to her parents' home in three days and goes along the road to greet her. The so-called "three days without two roads".

Yi brides avoid talking to the groom on their way home. They are like strangers.

This is related to the custom of keeping marriage.

When the Han people go back to their hometown, the young couple always kiss, talk and laugh.

There is a folk tune of "Going Back to Mother's Home".

The gifts that newlyweds bring home are always in pairs, not singular.

The bride's family can't accept it all, and she has to take some back when she goes back to her husband's house.

Some brides, influenced by superstitious ideas, will have to wait 120 days (4 months) to return to Ning, while others will have to wait three years to go home.

In some places in Zhejiang, some women were sentenced to "breaking their mother's family". Such a woman is not allowed to get on the sedan chair at home. When getting married, the man's house picks up the woman to go out. A woman dressed in rags pretends to beg and put on a sedan chair in the temple, which is called "borrowing marriage". The parents and relatives of the woman's family must hide, and everything is taken care of by her husband's family.

One hundred and twenty days after marriage, you can save your relatives.

Otherwise, the bride's family will lose everything or suffer misfortune.

There are also so-called criminals who "divorce" (husband and wife are separated) and "turn around" (take chestnuts from the fire) and can't go home until four months or even three years later.

Generally, after one month of marriage, in-laws can contact freely.

When returning to China, the bride can stay with her parents.

The number of days to stay is very particular.

Some areas in Henan have the custom of staying for a few days.

As the saying goes, "eight to eight, twenty cents" and "nine to nine, two ends".

In other words, those who return to their parents' home on the eighth day of the eighth month can stay at their parents' home for eight days, and those who return to their parents' home on the ninth day can stay at their parents' home for nine days.

In this way, the most time is to stay for one month.

If you live like this, it will be auspicious for both men and women, otherwise it will be bad.

However, there is also a saying that you should avoid staying eight days. As the saying goes, "if you live for seven days, you can't live for eight days. You live in a poor family.

"The formation of this taboo is generally due to ideological considerations, and it is not easy for a married daughter to live in her parents' home.

Among them, there are emotional constraints, moral constraints, economic pressures and production needs, and many factors have contributed to the agreement of this custom.

If the bride and groom go back to their parents' home together, then their accommodation in their parents' home also has different taboos.

In Han and Manchu, it is a custom for newlyweds to avoid sleeping together when they return to their parents' home.

Manchu allowed their children to live in Xikang, and other guests were not allowed to live in Xikang.

But girls and children can't live together. It is said that the newlyweds sharing the same room in their parents' house will make their family's access decline.

This is also caused by the concept of unclean and blasphemous sexual behavior.

People often think that women are always troubled by things between men and women.

Because of this, female families always feel a little depressed psychologically.

Besides, if the bride's family and her husband's family are not of the same clan, how can we provide a place for the husband's family to carry on the family line in the bride's family room? If she was really pregnant at her mother's house, wouldn't she take her "human potential" and "financial potential" to her husband's house? The bride's family will definitely decline because of this.

Therefore, it is absolutely forbidden for young couples to share the same room in their parents' house, which is the idea under this custom.

However, whether in the Han nationality or in many places, it is not taboo for newlyweds to sleep together in their parents' homes.

Sometimes, these two completely different customs will coexist in the same county, for example, in Linxian County, Henan Province, these two customs coexist.

After the bride's return, her identity has changed and she belongs to others, so her family often "guards against her".

The Oroqen people were forbidden to wash pots when they married their daughters and returned to their parents' homes.

Otherwise, her family's fortune will be brushed away by her.

There are similar taboos in Xiuwu County, Henan Province.

The local folk taboo girls go out to touch their parents' spoons and fire pillars.

They all say that "touching the spoon won't kill my father-in-law, my mother-in-law" and "lifting the torch won't kill my father-in-law and my son-in-law".

I also taboo to take my parents' knives and scissors, to catch my parents' dogs and so on.

He said: "I'm afraid of breaking off relations with my mother's family and biting off the road in the future."

"In short, make every effort to prevent a married girl from using or taking things from her parents' house. If she takes things from her parents' house after marriage, there will be disputes and disputes, which will inevitably affect the relationship between men and women. However, it is not a good idea to take strict precautions. How can she consciously not eat? So I used the spell of "dead father-in-law" and "dead son-in-law" to scare her as a warning.

When the bride returns to her mother's house, she should avoid telling her family all the bad things she encountered in her husband's house, and avoid returning to her mother's house and then telling her family things regardless of weight.

The result of "learning to speak" in this way will often cause trouble, affect the relationship between men and women, and the bride will also lose her reputation as a rapper.

So there is a saying that "you can be a daughter-in-law and hide at both ends, but you can't be a daughter-in-law and pass it on at both ends."

This is indeed a very useful experience for the bride to deal with the relationship between men and women.

What is the importance of Huimen? What is Huimen? In many areas, there is a traditional custom of Huimen. What is Huimen? For newlyweds, returning to the door is completely unknown, but as a traditional custom, returning to the door cannot be sloppy, especially because returning to the door is a kind of respect for the bride's family, which makes newlyweds very worried about what to prepare for returning to the door.

I want to say, from the etiquette, it is very important to answer the door. Next, I will introduce some details about the visit, such as the time of the visit, the clothes to wear and the gifts to be prepared.

What is Huimen?

Huimen is also called "mothering", that is, "going back to my mother's house".

Marriage customs of ancient Han nationality.

That is, the daughter-in-law goes back to her daughter's house to recognize her family.

Traceback time

In ancient times, it was the third, sixth or seventh, eighth and ninth day of marriage, and there was also a full moon to visit relatives.

There was a custom of Huimen in the Spring and Autumn Period, which has been inherited by later generations.

Because the "double door" is the double door of the newlyweds, it is called "double door", which means auspicious in pairs.

Huimen clothes

When returning home after marriage, the bride and groom should decorate and dress up as carefully as they did at the wedding, so as to maintain the beautiful and handsome image at the wedding.

If the woman needs to hold a grand banquet, the bride and groom should carefully choose their dresses.

What should I pay attention to when returning to the door?

When going back to her parents' home, the old custom stipulates that the bride walks in front, and when going back to the man's home, the groom walks in front.

Because this visit is the first time for my daughter to go back to her mother's house after her wedding, some of them are also called "the first time to go".

After crossing the "Second Gate", it is generally not allowed to spend the night at Yue's house, but must return to the man's house on the same day, because in the old society, it was a custom not to leave the house for one month after the wedding.

What should I prepare for marriage?

The bride's old man attaches great importance to going home for three days, so the groom should make preparations in advance, leaving a happy and beautiful impression on his parents-in-law both ideologically and as a gift.

At this time, the new son-in-law will also "return the gift" and "pay back the money" to her parents-in-law, and bring different gifts according to different places.

Some bring a rooster, which means "good luck"; Some bring some gifts such as meat, eggs and noodles; More common are oranges, apples, bananas, wine and so on. They all serve food, but the style is not fixed, but the return gift should not be single, and it must be even, which means that husband and wife are paired for a hundred years, and the odd number is unlucky.

Huimen banquet

Generally speaking, when a couple get married and go home, the woman gives a banquet, and the new son-in-law is seated, accompanied by the female elder.

In-laws held a banquet for their newly married husband, which was a back door banquet.

At dinner, the bride should accompany the groom, propose a toast to parents, relatives and neighbors, and thank everyone for their wishes for their wedding.

Don't rush home after dinner. You should chat with your parents for a while, listen to their teachings, and then leave and go home.

And should take the initiative to invite two old people and brothers and sisters to their homes, or invite relatives, friends and neighbors.

The return time will be different in different regions. In some areas, the return time is the second day after marriage, and in some areas it is the fourth day after marriage. It's best to ask the elders about the time of return.

The clothes that go back to the door should not be sloppy at all. Many grooms choose to wear suits on their wedding day, while brides wear red skirts or short skirts. In addition to continuing the wedding celebration, they still have full energy to reassure their parents.

The bride and groom must prepare a gift in return, which will not only make the family look good, but also let the neighbors know that you are married well.

What does Beijing mean by recognition? Recognition in Beijing dialect has three meanings:

1, mostly used for the first visit of relatives and friends, especially when the target men and women go to each other's home for the first time.

2. It means to know and be familiar with the roads, traffic and so on between the two places, which is often called a door.

3. Sometimes it is also used to express learning the disposal method, operation mode and processing flow of something. For example, it is often said in spoken English that "I will show you how to do it this time, and you can do it yourself next time".

Pay attention to what is more specific, the better. Pay a three-day return visit, which is also called visiting the house, calling the children, meeting relatives, etc. This is the first time that the newlywed wife has returned to her family after marriage.

Huimen, a marriage custom, has a long history in China and is an indispensable etiquette.

So what should newcomers pay attention to?

1, get ready at the door

The bride's old man attaches great importance to returning to his hometown, so the groom should make preparations in advance from dressing up or gifts and try to leave a good impression on his parents-in-law.

On that day, the image of the bride and groom should be carefully decorated, dressed like attending a wedding, and gifts should be prepared in advance to buy gifts that the bride and the elderly like.

2. Go back to your mother's house

The bride and groom should greet the old man first. At this time, the groom should change his name to his parents-in-law, parents and parents, and call him kind and natural. Don't hesitate and don't be embarrassed.

There are also brothers and sisters who meet the bride. Say hello warmly, don't be careless.

3. During the banquet

According to the local wedding custom, the bride's family will hold a banquet to entertain the groom when he returns home, and invite relatives, friends and neighbors to accompany him.

After the banquet, the groom (accompanied by the bride) will propose a toast to his parents, relatives and friends. At the same time, he should be temperate and not presumptuous, and pay special attention not to drink too much to avoid making a fool of himself in public.

4. After the banquet,

After the banquet, when the relatives and friends accompanying the wine leave, the groom and his parents-in-law will send them to the gate together; The groom should not rush home. He wants to talk to his parents-in-law for a while, listen to their teachings, and invite two old people and brothers and sisters to his home with the bride.

But don't come home too late, lest your family miss you.

If there are special circumstances, the bride and groom should live in their parents' home, and the bride and groom are not allowed to share the same room.

The old people at home attach great importance to returning home, and the bride and groom need not be too nervous. As long as they are prepared in advance, they can pay attention to some matters when they go back to their parents' home.

What's the point of returning to China? Because returning home is the first time a woman visits her relatives after marriage. In China, it is particularly important to go home after marriage in the traditional marriage leave custom.

Huimen is also called "mothering", that is, "going back to my mother's house".

Marriage customs of ancient Han nationality.

That is, the daughter-in-law goes back to her daughter's house to recognize her family.

Huimen, also known as mothering, is a traditional marriage custom of the Han nationality.

Refers to the woman's first visit to her family after marriage.

The newlyweds returned to their parents' home on the third day after their marriage. For the bride, returning to her parents' home after marriage.

Traceback time

In ancient times, it was the third, sixth or seventh, eighth and ninth day of marriage, and there was also a full moon to visit relatives.

There was a custom of Huimen in the Spring and Autumn Period, which has been inherited by later generations.

Because the "double door" is the double door of the newlyweds, it is called "double door", which means auspicious in pairs.

Back door dress-up

When returning home after marriage, the bride and groom should decorate and dress up as carefully as they did at the wedding, so as to maintain the beautiful and handsome image at the wedding.

If the woman needs to hold a grand banquet, the bride and groom should carefully choose their dresses.

What does the bride wear when she goes home?

Every place has different customs and different clothes.

But on the whole, there are still some similarities. First of all, it needs to be new, and the color is mainly festive.

For example, big red, because this kind of pure big red clothes can't be worn at ordinary times, we can't waste our clothes once, so in order to wear them at ordinary times, we should pay attention to the choice of colors, such as light pink, pink, pink purple, or deeper red, such as rust red and deep red. Anyway, just focus on this bright color.

However, to avoid these colors of black, white, gray and blue, after all, it does not look festive.

In some places, you can't wear big red clothes when you get married, but now it's not so particular.

For the style of clothes, you can choose clothes and trousers, or small skirts and dresses. The long skirt looks very elegant, the small skirt looks sedate and dignified, and the dress looks fresh and bright, all of which are the best clothes to wear when returning home.

But it should be noted that the skirt can reach the knee length, not too short.

You can also choose to wear cheongsam.

Clothing should also be selected according to the temperature throughout the year. You can choose a small sweater and skirt in spring and autumn, a dress in summer and a beautiful down jacket in winter.

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What is the recognition rate of door 1? "Recognizing the door" is mostly used for the first visit of relatives and friends, especially when the men and women who are in contact go to each other's home for the first time. When recognizing the door, the woman is accompanied by her female elder or peers and goes to the man's house to recognize the door. The man's parents and brothers and sisters held a welcoming ceremony in the street. The groom's sister took out a bunch of keys and handed them to the bride, representing trust and recognition. The bride put on her shoes, and the groom's sister took the bride's hand into the groom's house, followed by the two families. The ceremony of recognizing the door has come to an end, and then an engagement ceremony will be held at the groom's house.

It means to know and be familiar with the roads and traffic between the two places.

3. It means learning the disposal method, operation mode and processing flow of something.