Wu Ruoquan (a well-known writer) contentment and happiness often coexist, and * * * shakes * * again and again. As long as you don't think about others and come back to take care of yourself, you can feel more clearly that the more delusions you get rid of, the greater your freedom will be. Di Anna, an Indonesian nurse who took care of her mother for a long time, returned to China for one month. During her vacation, I quit most of my work and took care of my mother's daily life at home. I have the opportunity to help her sort out her personal belongings between daily necessities, medicines and soup. In my mother's drawer, I saw a small iron box with a diamond ring in it. In recent years, except for important occasions of family reunion, she rarely wears it, and the diamond ring still shines like new light with good memories. In my mind, this is my mother's second diamond ring in my life, and it was only in recent years that my sister and I bought it again with the same effort. She seldom wears it on her hand, even if she just puts it in a drawer tin box, she still has a full sense of happiness. The economic environment of women in mom's generation is more difficult. Unless you are rich and powerful, you will use diamonds when you get married. At ordinary people's weddings, most brides wear gold ornaments and pearls. However, perhaps as the focus of diamond advertisements, no matter how traditional or conservative the background is, poor or rich, every woman always yearns for a diamond of her own. My mother has suppressed this wish for many years. When she raised three children and entered the social work to make money, she vaguely revealed that she envied others for having diamond rings. Fill the past with the rich satisfaction at this moment. When we first heard that mom wanted a diamond ring, our brothers immediately chipped in money and accompanied mom to a familiar jewelry store to buy a valuable diamond ring according to her favorite style. Diamonds may be just a physical thing, but there is no denying how much pride and happiness it can bring to a mother who has worked hard to raise her children and let her enter her heart. Especially when attending weddings or birthday parties of relatives and friends, not only the beauty and brilliance of diamonds, but also her confidence and glory shine through her fingers. After mother's stroke, her fingers were not sensitive and the diamond ring slipped several times unintentionally. She was afraid of losing it by accident, so she carefully put it in a small iron box and put it in the dressing cabinet. A foreign nurse invited her friends to visit while her family was out. I don't know what happened, but the diamond ring disappeared after that day. Because my mother's dressing cabinet is unlocked and there is no monitoring equipment installed at home, I can't blame or blame anyone without evidence. My mother lost her beloved diamond ring, but she had to put up with it and not lose her temper. Just like "the dumb eats coptis", she can't say anything but sulk. Wu Ruoquan (a well-known writer) contentment and happiness often coexist, and * * * shakes * * again and again. As long as you don't think about others and come back to take care of yourself, you can feel more clearly that the more delusions you get rid of, the greater your freedom will be. Di Anna, an Indonesian nurse who took care of her mother for a long time, returned to China for one month. During her vacation, I quit most of my work and took care of my mother's daily life at home. I have the opportunity to help her sort out her personal belongings between daily necessities, medicines and soup. In my mother's drawer, I saw a small iron box with a diamond ring in it. In recent years, except for important occasions of family reunion, she rarely wears it, and the diamond ring still shines like new light with good memories. In my mind, this is my mother's second diamond ring in my life, and it was only in recent years that my sister and I bought it again with the same effort. She seldom wears it on her hand, even if she just puts it in a drawer tin box, she still has a full sense of happiness. The economic environment of women in mom's generation is more difficult. Unless you are rich and powerful, you will use diamonds when you get married. At ordinary people's weddings, most brides wear gold ornaments and pearls. However, perhaps as the focus of diamond advertisements, no matter how traditional or conservative the background is, poor or rich, every woman always yearns for a diamond of her own. My mother has suppressed this wish for many years. When she raised three children and entered the social work to make money, she vaguely revealed that she envied others for having diamond rings. Fill the past with the rich satisfaction at this moment. When we first heard that mom wanted a diamond ring, our brothers immediately chipped in money and accompanied mom to a familiar jewelry store to buy a valuable diamond ring according to her favorite style. Diamonds may be just a physical thing, but there is no denying how much pride and happiness it can bring to a mother who has worked hard to raise her children and let her enter her heart. Especially when attending weddings or birthday parties of relatives and friends, not only the beauty and brilliance of diamonds, but also her confidence and glory shine through her fingers. After mother's stroke, her fingers were not sensitive and the diamond ring slipped several times unintentionally. She was afraid of losing it by accident, so she carefully put it in a small iron box and put it in the dressing cabinet. A foreign nurse invited her friends to visit while her family was out. I don't know what happened, but the diamond ring disappeared after that day. Because my mother's dressing cabinet is unlocked and there is no monitoring equipment installed at home, I can't blame or blame anyone without evidence. My mother lost her beloved diamond ring, but she had to put up with it and not lose her temper. Just like "the dumb eats coptis", she can't say anything but sulk. No more envy, no more complaining, no more cherishing, no more thanking. A few months later, my sister and I made another joint venture, accompanied my mother to the original jewelry store and bought her a new diamond ring. The new second diamond ring is very similar in style to the lost one. The size and luster of the diamond are upgraded with the heart and price. When I bought my mother a diamond ring for the first time in those years, I only thought about satisfying her vanity and compensating her for the economic deprivation in her growth and marriage. Later, the diamond ring disappeared inexplicably at home. The motivation for buying this diamond ring again is very simple, that is, full of cherish, thanks and blessings. If we apply the narrative habits commonly used in modern network technology, the mother's diamond ring version 2.0 not only represents our relationship with her, but also symbolizes that the life we have experienced together with her has reached another realm of "no burden and mutual blessing". In recent years, I seldom heard my mother say who she envies and what she has. Before, she occasionally expressed admiration for those who lived longer than she expected, or who lived healthier than she expected. But later, after seeing the four seasons of life of relatives and friends around her, she realized the importance of quality of life. Longevity is not necessarily good, money is not necessarily spent, and physical and mental health is not necessarily trouble-free. She gradually accepted her state, no longer envied, no longer complained, but more cherished and thanked. As long as you don't think about others and come back to take care of yourself, you can feel more clearly that the more delusions you get rid of, the greater your freedom will be. On the contrary, my funny friends often go home for dinner and chat with their mothers. They are happy to comfort our mother and son and enjoy the quiet life in front of us. They often jokingly spoil her with "My next life's wish is to be Wu Ruoquan's mother", and the magical effect appears between our meals. My mother, after a lot of hardships, probably never thought that she would become the envy of others one day. Although it was just a joke between friends, it made her happy for a long time. See your own happiness from the eyes of others. Is this human nature? Look at yourself and often see shortcomings; Looking at others, most people see happiness. Will one day, in the future, we will reach a milestone in our lives, look back at ourselves now and feel sincerely envious? Even now, I feel that my life is not so good, even very difficult. Don't let the envy of the future now turn into the regret of seeing that moment in the future. On Mother's Day that year, I received a message from a middle-aged friend on Facebook. She said she envied me for living to 50 years old and having an old mother to be filial. My homemade mother's day card reminds her of accompanying her sick mother on the last journey of her life. Her Sorrow in the Wind is a common regret of many middle-aged children who lost their lives. It turns out that envy and regret are also accompanied. Timeline is a magic that can change ideas and actions. If you want to learn how to be aware of yourself and ask yourself to accept the status quo, sometimes you need to get rid of the reality first and help yourself to see the situation and needs at this moment at a higher height or at a farther distance. Even if we can't envy what others have now, we often expect what kind of people we can become in the future. Whether you envy what others have now or look forward to your future, if you can't implement it now, everything is just wishful thinking. The loss of many people is that they only expect what they can become in the future, but they never cherish what they can do now. Therefore, the envy of the future now is wasted into the regret of looking at the present in the future. During these years of taking care of my parents, I often invite "future self" and "present self" to say a few words. What do I envy each other? Or what regrets might be left? In such a dialogue, the truest self inside will be clearly identifiable. At the age of forty, I admired myself at the age of twenty. I am brave and strong because I am young and ignorant. Will I wait until I am 70 years old, when I am 50 years old, I envy myself and continue to pay because I am willing to bear it? I deeply believe that as long as I know how to cherish gratitude now, I will not regret it just because of envy in the future. Sometimes, when I feel tired and unable to accompany my mother, I will encourage myself like this: don't let the envy of the future now turn into the regret of looking at that moment in the future. All the courage and ability, like an sobering re-injection full. 1. paulo coelho mentioned in his book The Fantasy Journey of a Shepherd Boy (published by The Times): "The secret of the future is now. If you focus on the present, you can certainly improve it. And if you can improve the present, the future will be better. Every day is a new beginning. By focusing on this moment, you can overcome your fears and worries and live in every moment with a positive attitude. The feast master said, "I don't walk from the foot of the mountain to the top of the mountain, but I only walk one step at a time." This sentence tells us not to worry about the past, not to worry about the future, but to be practical in the present. Life is a process of continuous accumulation. Facing the present, we should learn to let go of the past, look to the future and live in the present. The Buddha said, "I don't care about the past, I don't care about the future, I care about the present, so I am peaceful. As long as you know how to cherish and appreciate what is happening at the moment, you can plan your best future according to the visible omens of the moment. 4. Three tips, practice "living in the moment" every day: pay attention with your heart, think with your brain, and define with your actions. This article is taken from "Let me take care of you: 2 1 Class accompanying parents in their old age"/Wu Ruoquan (a famous writer)/Liu Yuan.