What are the short and incisive divine replies on Zhihu?
1, Zhihu's classic answer: What are the wonderful series of questions and answers in Zhihu's "Happy Classroom" series, which are quite good and worth recommending? Why does giving up become a kind of? This is a case I heard (slightly adapted): an old Red Army suffered from insomnia for a long time. He found a very good doctor. He said to Dr. Jing, "Doctor, I lie in bed every night, staring at the ceiling, tossing and turning, unable to sleep." What should I do? " The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Are you lying? How can someone stay up all night? If you couldn't sleep all night, wouldn't you be dead long ago? " Old red army nasty, "I lied to you? Did I go to your house for fun? I just can't sleep! " The doctor said, "I don't believe it." ..... The two men argued for a while. The doctor said, "well, prove it to me." When I go back at night, I stare at the ceiling and say to myself, I'm going to sleep, I'm old! If you are not asleep, come to me tomorrow. " As a result, the old Red Army came back, stared at the ceiling for a while, and soon fell asleep. I often use this method to help visitors overcome their sleep problems, especially those who are worried that insomnia will affect their study and health. I have a visitor who goes to bed early at 9 o'clock every day and then sleeps until two or three o'clock every night. He is worried that this rhythm will affect his TOEFL test. I told him, aren't you worried about your English exam? You can recite English words between 9: 00 and 1 1, and you are absolutely not allowed to sleep before 1 1 half past one. If you still can't sleep, continue to recite English words. He really did it, and as a result, he slept more soundly a week later. Why does this formula work? When people suffer from insomnia, sleep becomes a difficult and painful task in their consciousness. When the task is "don't sleep", sleep suddenly becomes what people want, but it becomes difficult to restrain it. This way of thinking breaks the paradox of thinking. People will no longer be too worried to sleep. Frank, a psychologist who experienced Auschwitz, said in his masterpiece "Living the Meaning of Life": "It is fear that leads to the appearance of things that are feared; On the other hand, it is excessive desire that makes what it hopes impossible. " The original intention of "fear" or "excessive desire" is to make people escape or get close to what they want to do, but the result is that they don't want things to happen. In order to prevent "fear" and "excessive desire", he invented a method called "contradictory intention method". In this way, he encourages visitors to be more afraid of something and try to make it happen in their intentions. For example, if you are going to prepare a lecture and you are worried that you will blush on the platform, Frank will suggest that you try to make yourself blush and see how long you can blush. If you are worried about sweating, he suggests that you sweat as much as possible. The core of "Contradictory Intention Method" is to make you give up escaping from what you are afraid of, on the contrary, eliminate it by drawing out what you are afraid of. If you are particularly worried about blushing when talking to others, whether you consciously try to stop blushing or try to control your blushing (contradictory intention method), it actually has no effect. You have to blush when you should. But if you try to make yourself blush in your intention, when you really blush, you will at least feel that it is your own, and you will not be flustered by the "unexpected arrival" of blushing. At this time, your sense of control will slowly come back. And you will gradually find that these problems are not so terrible. This method can sometimes delay the illness. Although the dormitory of graduate students or teachers in universities is often brightly lit at night, it is all because: "They often make up for the guilt of wasting time during the day with a little effort before going to bed at night." Often many people wait until 10, 1 1 to find that they have done nothing and have to pose desperately. But working at night is inefficient, working too late at night affects sleep, and you will become listless during the day. I discussed with the visitors and came up with a good idea: if I don't finish my goal during the day, I won't be allowed to work at night, so I can only play. What are you playing? They play when they procrastinate, and play now. Many tourists will wonder, is this a reward for not working during the day? But when you really play, you will feel a strange sense of guilt and feel particularly eager to work for a while. According to our agreement, they must play again. In this context, the meanings of "work" and "play" have changed. Work becomes what you want to do, and "playing" becomes punishment. Many people find that when they "have to play" at night, their efficiency during the day is actually improved. The most interesting thing is that when their efficiency during the day is improved to achieve their goals, they are not willing to "play for a while" at night, but are willing to continue working. These changing strategies seem to go against common sense, but they are effective. They break the paradox of change and make "change" no longer induce a new cycle. Of course, it is not so easy to convince visitors or make them make up their minds to lead to their initial "obviously unwanted" behavior. Mindfulness provides a gentler method. When control and change itself become a problem, the essence of mindfulness lies in training people's "perception" ability, and then replacing control with "perception". No matter the negative emotions such as anxiety and depression, or the "trying to control" accompanying these negative emotions, they have become the objects of consciousness. The act of "awareness" itself contains an attitude of acceptance. The act of awareness naturally separates "you who are aware" from "you who are the object of awareness". Therefore, no matter how negative your thoughts are, you are always indifferent. When consciousness replaces control, the paradox of behavior disappears. Of course, "awareness" also needs practice. All these methods are designed around the problem. More often, ask yourself a "how to change" question. The answer to this question will not only lead to effective actions, but also bring about a paradox of behavior, usually the wrong question. Not all problems have answers, and not all problems need to be solved. Sometimes, only the right questions can bring the right answers. If it is not a good question to say how to make yourself not anxious, it may be a better question what you can do to make yourself happier, more focused, have deeper ties with others and live a more meaningful life. So when Morita said "live with symptoms", he also said "do whatever you want". What he actually means is, forget the damn problem, see what kind of life you want without it, and then pretend to live without it. When Frank invented the law of contradictory intention, a more important aspect of his work was to help people find various meanings in life. The unique meaning of life is the more important driving force for change. Transferred from Zhihu, motive in Hangzhou and Zhihu, ten replies.
The above is about the wonderful Q&A series on Zhihu, and it is about sharing the wonderful Q&A series on Zhihu. Read the classic answer in Zhihu, I hope this will help everyone!