1. As long as you are selected, what does your past experience matter?
When you decide to be together, it must be that both of you have feelings for each other. As the saying goes, love begins with face value, character and talent. I think this is an important factor in love. It's not easy to find a person you like, so why care about your previous emotional experience?
For feelings, there is specificity and exclusiveness. When I am in love with this person, it is impossible to know that her past is not disturbing at all, and it will be more or less uncomfortable.
But we need to know the fact that if two people are together, take care of each other, support each other and work together towards the same goal, that is enough.
Everyone has a past, some people like others, but she liked others before, but isn't it you that she chooses now?
What matters is not the "predecessor", but the influence of the "predecessor" on the other half.
It is often said that a qualified predecessor is to completely disappear in the other person's world. However, in real life, although most people have deleted their contact information with their predecessors, some things they have experienced with their predecessors cannot be deleted anyway.
I have seen many people fail to deal with each other's sense of boundary and proper boundaries after breaking up with their predecessors. Although we are no longer in contact, it is absolutely impossible to completely forget or let go of the past, and it is also impossible.
Since you can't guarantee that you are each other's first love, it's not a bad thing to have a love history. We can sum up the lessons of failure and won't make mistakes again.
Everyone needs to establish their own sense of boundaries and appropriate boundaries, not only for themselves, but also for others. Don't be ambiguous with others, and deleting the contact information of their predecessors is just one of them.
If you break up, you should get a clean share. Don't break up with your ex, and don't leave a bunch of questions, so there will be no future love.
If you want to be together for a long time, it is better to think about the future than to look at the past.
We are lucky enough to be each other's other half, and we should feel predestined relationship and happiness. It is said that looking back 500 times in previous lives is only for passing by in this life. Two people can meet and be together, which is exchanged for countless times in previous lives. And what we have to do is to seize the happiness now.
In short, if two people want to have a long-term relationship, instead of always caring about each other's past, it is better to think more about the future after two people are together. The future is still very long, and so is our future. Please teach me more for the rest of my life!
The past doesn't need to be mentioned repeatedly, but it needs to be handled properly. Let bygones be bygones, and let it be history forever. Now that you have decided to start over, enjoy your present happiness. We don't need to dwell too much on the other half's past.