It is understood that at present, women's foreign-related marriages in our city are mainly married to China people or Chinese. According to the statistics of psychologists, most of the women who come for psychological counseling are married to China people. Hu, vice president of the Municipal Psychiatric Hospital, analyzed that the stability of marriage with China people is relatively poor due to the differences in thinking mode and living habits. Women who go abroad because of foreign-related marriages are often at a disadvantage in economic strength and feel unequal in their marriage life. Once you can't meet your expectations, there will be problems in your marriage, and your psychology will often be cast a shadow. The reporter learned that several women had different degrees of psychological problems after encountering setbacks in foreign-related marriages, among which Su Lian and Xiuqin (both pseudonyms) had the most bumpy experiences.
She leads an evasive life.
Su Lian, who is in her thirties this year, often has the same nightmare: her former mother-in-law sent people to hunt her down everywhere. She is often awakened by this.
10 years ago, she was only in her early twenties, with good looks and temperament, and had a stable job in Wenzhou. By chance, she met Yong who came back from abroad and had a warm date. Yong looks handsome, his parents run restaurants abroad, and his family has good economic conditions. After several meetings, Su Lian agreed to the marriage.
After going abroad, Su Lian realized that she had fallen into the abyss: Yong had to take some drugs to control mental illness every day. It is also for this reason that the husband has no position at home and no money in his hand. What is even more helpless is that her mother-in-law is very strict with her. She has to be busy from morning till night in her restaurant every day, and at the same time, she has to take good care of Yong. Her economy, life and freedom are under control, and she can't even talk to strange men.
Su Lian lived in the cracks for many years, and one day she committed suicide inexplicably. The mother-in-law decided that this was caused by Su Lian's failure to take good care of her son. So I hit her and abused her, and she couldn't bear it anymore, so she had to run away. But my mother-in-law has been sending someone to find her and wants to take her back. She fled, fled from abroad to China, and fled to another country, living in fear all day long, to the point of suicide. Persuaded by her friends, she finally turned to a psychologist for help. ...
She was cheated of her property by her husband.
Xiuqin tried to raise her son after divorcing her husband because of emotional disharmony. As she grows older, she constantly feels the crisis and always hopes to live a relaxed and carefree life in a new way. Five years ago, in her 500 s, she went through plastic surgery such as rhinoplasty and face lift, and found an American man George of similar age through online marriage. Through translation, she and George started "online dating" and sent emails to "love" every day.
In 2000, George came to China and invited her to visit Beijing, Shanghai and other cities. During this time, George was gentle and considerate, generous and generous, which made her feel that her fate had changed. She was about to become a happy foreign wife and a rich wife. After the trip, they got married. Xiuqin sold her only property, a house worth 400,000 yuan, and went to America with George.
After arriving in the United States, she felt uncomfortable because of the inability to communicate in language, different living habits and laws, and the reaction brought by acclimatization. But these are just minor problems. A few months later, George filed for divorce. She found a lawyer and went to court to learn that George had been married and divorced nine times in just a few years. It suddenly dawned on her that George was a liar. Because of the language barrier, she transferred 400,000 yuan to George's account.
Unaccompanied, she felt like a kite with a broken thread, unable to eat or sleep well, struggling with regret and pain. She wanted to go back to China, but when she went abroad, she was so beautiful that vanity made her determined not to let others see jokes. After tossing and turning for a long time, she was down and out, and even thought about suicide at one time. Later, she met two compatriots. After learning of her misfortune, they introduced her to a nursing home. She works hard, hoping to earn more money to go home. Now her visa is about to expire, and she hasn't saved enough 400 thousand. Coupled with the trauma of these years, she has aged a lot, nervous and even insomnia. So, through a China native abroad, she found a doctor in Kangning Hospital for psychotherapy.
Love life and respond positively.
In foreign-related marriages, women's psychological problems are often more serious than those of ordinary housewives after being hit. Gong Benhong, an associate professor of psychology at Kangning Hospital, believes that the main causes of psychological problems are inconvenient language communication, different living habits and laws, abnormal interpersonal communication, ideological conflicts caused by cultural differences, homesickness and so on.
According to statistics, last year, there were 14 1 people who married compatriots from Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan, 7 19 people who married overseas Chinese, and 293 people who married foreign Chinese and foreigners. More than 90% of these 1 153 people are women. As of May 18 this year, the Civil Affairs Bureau has registered 658 foreign-related marriages. Li Chunfang, director of the Social Affairs Management Office of the Civil Affairs Bureau, said that compared with the previous two years, the age matching between men and women in foreign-related marriages has improved. However, in the process of marriage registration, he found that some women married to foreigners and their husbands had problems in language communication, and sometimes they were cold when registering.
Psychologists suggest that women who are married across regions or even across borders should establish their own life circle in the new living environment, find jobs that suit them, and vent their emotions through various beneficial channels, so as not to let bad emotions accumulate for too long and produce adverse psychological and physiological reactions. (Wenzhou Metropolis Daily Liu Xuefei