I saw a question on Zhihu: How to change yourself?

The person who gave the answer was a college graduate in 1991. He described himself this way:

After seeing this, we may all think that his evaluation of himself is a bit too derogatory. Just yourself.

Or, this person is really like this, and his life is indeed a bit poor.

It’s not like the questioner has never thought about changing. The following is his attempt:

He also wants to be reborn and become another person, but every time he fails, and negative emotions continue. Accumulation also creates a vicious cycle of constant self-denial.

This reminds me of a flag that many girls will set up - they want to be as thin as lightning, but in the end their mouths are filled with delicious food.

How to change yourself? Why is it so difficult to change yourself?

The highly praised answer on this question has received more than 2800 likes. It is a picture contributed by the respondent from his own collection.

There is also a person asking for help in the picture: he wants to publish a personal photography portfolio, play the guitar well, study well and build a website, but he still stays in front of the computer every day, browsing Facebook, reading news, and watching entertainment. Video, I’m very distressed, and I’m asking for everyone’s help.

One of the most liked ones is: Start small.

The respondent mentioned that it would be too extreme to disconnect all electronic devices at once. One extreme cannot be solved by the other extreme. If the stove is on fire, you just want to flood the house with water. Although you can extinguish the fire, your house will be destroyed in this way.

If you want to change anything, you must start small. For example, arrange for 1 hour of reading before going to bed every day. If 1 hour is not too long, then arrange for 10 minutes. Set an alarm for 10 minutes and be sure to read the book for 10 minutes.

Change yourself bit by bit, and then use this as a basis to climb up.

Dr. Chen Haixian, a well-known psychological counselor, mentioned a very important principle for changing personal behavior in the book "The Great Me", a psychology book about self-development: the principle of small steps.

Great explanation of how starting small works in the upvoted answer.

Dr. Chen Haixian mentioned in the book:

The goal of rebirth is too huge and it is easy to be overwhelmed; and the principle of small steps, although it will not make you reborn immediately, but in the end At the very least, it will get you moving and pull you out of your current state.

For example, if the questioner at the beginning said that he has no hobbies, he can first list the things he wants to do and the things he wants to try, and start with one thing. Then gradually find what interests you.

An ancient saying goes: If you don’t accumulate steps, you can’t reach a thousand miles; if you don’t accumulate small streams, you can’t reach a river or sea.

If you also want to change, then ask yourself: If you want to be what you want, what is the smallest step you can take?

Then start taking action, and one day, you will arrive.