Fu Xintong, a full-time wife, paid a deposit of 6.5438 million yuan to send her son to study abroad, but the money was cheated. When her husband Bian Liang learned that his wife had been cheated and it was difficult to recover the money, he was not angry, but comforted his wife: "Don't take this matter to heart, just consider it a loss of the stock exchange. Mortgage, son's tuition, you don't have to worry about these, I have it. "
Many viewers commented: Bian Liang let everyone see how important emotional value is in marriage. Psychologist Robin Berman also said that the emotional value in the relationship between men and women directly affects the quality of marriage.
0 1 A partner with high emotional value doesn't blame anything.
A blogger shared a story that he met his family while traveling and flying. One child's certificate in this family expired, so the mother gave up the trip and took the child home. Because the luggage was checked in my mother's name, it was returned naturally in the end. So the rest of the family will go home empty-handed. Bloggers assume that if such a thing happens to parents, they will inevitably blame each other.
However, the attitude of this family is the opposite: the couple are not angry at all, let alone blame each other. Instead, I asked someone to help me pick up my luggage and deliver it to my destination. The whole process was very relaxed. There is a word in psychology called "alienated communication mode", which means that when you encounter a problem, you don't want to solve it, but just blame the other party. When things have happened, blame can't recover the loss, it will only enlarge the problem. A happy marriage is not without contradictions, but with wisdom of not blaming.
Qian Zhiliang, a professor at Beijing Normal University, encountered a similar scene. Once, he flew on a business trip, sitting next to a young couple with a few months old child. The wife is holding the child, and the husband is reading quietly. At this time, the child began to cry when he was hungry. His wife wanted to feed the child milk powder, but she was too busy at the moment.
The husband was so absorbed in reading that he didn't notice it. The wife said to her husband, "obviously, you have more important things to do than reading at this time." I need you to hold the baby so that I can make room for her to make milk powder. " The husband just reacted, immediately closed the book and held the child in his arms. This seemingly simple conversation is actually impossible for most people in life.
If it was someone else, the wife might yell at her husband directly: "Didn't you see the child crying?" Like a log all day, everything depends on me! " It is conceivable that there will be a quarrel between the two people next. There is a good saying: the so-called good relationship comes from the tolerance of one person and the moderation of another. Always remember that in a family, relatives are more important than truth, and tolerance is more important than transforming important feelings. Less blame is the preservative of marriage.
A partner with high emotional value doesn't complain when he is killed.
Someone once asked, what is the root of a family's prosperity? Someone replied that life will get better and better if couples complain less and support more. Zhao Xicheng, who is known as the "King of China Ships", has gradually stabilized her married life and her career has become more and more prosperous. At this time, Zhao Xicheng got a chance to travel abroad. If you go abroad, it means giving up the rich living conditions at that time and starting from scratch. When his wife, Zhu Mulan, learned about it, she didn't stop her, but fully supported her husband's career.
When the family first went abroad, life was very hard. Zhao Xicheng works three jobs a day. Born in a big family and living in good conditions since childhood, my wife has never suffered this kind of hardship. But she never complained about her husband's half sentence. Instead, she carefully prepared three delicious meals a day for the whole family. Zhao Xicheng has no worries and can concentrate on his own career and become a millionaire from scratch.
Yang Lan once said: "When you are the most helpless, soft, depressed and down, there is TA to hold your chin up, straighten your back, stay with you, and share the fate with * * *. In that sunny time, in addition to love, the feelings between you also included loyalty, tacit understanding and unforgettable kindness. " Life will inevitably be bumpy, and the best relationship between husband and wife is to encourage each other out of the predicament when they encounter a trough, rather than complaining blindly.
When Mo Yan and his wife Du got married, they followed the standard three-piece suit at that time: bicycle, sewing machine and watch. Mo Yan's family is not rich. When he bought a sewing machine and a bike, he had no money to buy a watch. Du did not complain, but comforted Mo Yan: "Anything, as long as you are good to me. After marriage, Mo Yan worked in the army and had no time to take care of his family. In order to support her husband, Du resigned from the cotton mill without complaint and contracted all the housework and farm work.
When a person is surrounded by life, with heavy responsibilities and great pressure, it is particularly easy to breed many negative emotions. But looking around, you will find that everyone's family life is facing many hardships and tests. Wang Han, the host, said that when you are alone, be kind to yourself: when you are alone, be kind to each other. Because lovers who love to come together should learn not to complain when things happen, but to think about ways to solve problems. As long as husband and wife Qi Xin work together, there is no hurdle and no robbery.
Partners with high emotional value don't care about their own mistakes.
I have read this passage: "if a family wants peace, one of them will give in." If both husband and wife want to get the upper hand and prove that they are right, then this relationship is wrong. " Living under the same roof will inevitably lead to setbacks. A truly wise man never regards his family as a battlefield. Mr. Ba Jin is older than his wife Xiao Shan 13 years old. They live together and occasionally have conflicts. However, after 28 years of marriage, they have never really quarreled or blushed.
Experience shan want to do, ba Jin will silently choose to support, never interfere. In Ba Jin's eyes, Xiao Shan will always be the "little girl" with big eyes, kind heart and gentle personality. Xiao Shan once confessed to Ba Jin: "My eyes will always follow you. I will always have you in my heart. Do you know how happy I am to accompany you through this journey? " Between words, there is joy and happiness that can't be concealed.
Balzac said: "Husband and wife should know each other, then tolerate and love each other, in order to maintain a happy marriage. In marriage, everyone will make some small mistakes more or less, and there are some small shortcomings that are not pleasing to the eye. Only by accommodating and understanding each other can two people make their marriage happy for a long time. After Jiang Yang and Qian Zhongshu got married, Jiang Yang loved cleanliness, while Qian Zhongshu was eclectic.
When Jiang Yang takes towels, he always folds them neatly side by side and diagonally, but Qian Zhongshu thinks it's a waste of time and always takes them with him. Every time Jiang Yang sees it, he doesn't get angry or force him. He just rearranged it according to his own habits. Whenever there is an argument, Qian Zhongshu always gives way to Jiang Yang. On one occasion, Jiang Yang couldn't help asking Qian Zhongshu why you asked me to come every time we quarreled. Sometimes I think it's not just your fault.
Qian Zhongshu replied, because you are mine, even if the quarrel wins, what can you do? I won the truth, lost my feelings, lost you, and lost my life. In marriage, people around you are more important than winning or losing. What's the point of winning a quarrel and destroying the family? Writer Desaye said, what kind of family would it be without accommodation and consideration?
In this world, there is no perfect person, let alone a perfect marriage. All seemingly perfect marriages are just two smart people giving in to each other. Life is really bitter. Only when you are with a partner with high emotional value can you make a bitter day sweet. All comfortable marriages provide enough emotional value, while all bad marriages are bound to lack emotional value.
The emotional value I understand is nothing more than in the process of getting along with my partner: more affirmation, encouragement and praise, less complaints, blame and criticism. In marriage, emotional value is worth thousands of dollars. Grasp each other's emotions and grasp each other's hearts.