Parents who favor sons over daughters and speak harshly can directly lead to children committing suicide.

A classmate of mine in junior high school, named Qiu Hongxia, is a docile girl with a weak temper, but very friendly to others. Just because she is a daughter, she is not taken seriously by her parents. She has to figure out her own way to pay for tuition every year. Moving here and there, her father said, what is the purpose of a girl studying so much and not being able to make a living?

That year, she failed the college entrance examination and begged her parents to let her repeat her studies for another year. However, her stubborn father refused to agree, saying that with the money, it would be better to save it for her brother to build a house and get a wife. , they had to force her to go out to work, but she refused, and her irritable father said harsh words to her, even punched and kicked her. Although her mother loved her, she was afraid of her husband's power, so she could only cry secretly and persuade her daughter not to have a dispute with her father. .

One night in the midsummer of that year, the weak classmate packed her luggage. When her father saw that she was finally obedient, he breathed a sigh of relief, showed a rare smile and said to her, You can't spend much money outside. Once your salary is paid, send it back as soon as possible and save it for your brother.

She nodded silently and told her parents that she would not spend a penny of the family's money. Seeing that she was so sensible, her parents went to rest.

When the next morning, the mother saw that she hadn’t gotten up yet, so she went to call her. She was frightened: her daughter’s head was tilted to one side, there was foam at the mouth, and she shouted loudly, but it was already too late. Sorry, my daughter’s hands have become cold at some point!

Poor and honest girl, why are you so stupid? My mother cried and screamed, but she couldn't hear her anymore!

Life is precious, no matter what you do, you cannot commit suicide!

Parents humiliate their children in public, disregarding their feelings, comparing their strengths with others, making them worthless, trampling on their self-esteem, and destroying their self-recognition. Degradation, thinking that oneself is a useless and superfluous person, thus giving rise to the idea of ????suicide. In a home where one is not respected, is not recognized, has no happiness, no understanding, and no tolerance, there is no hope of happiness. Such a home can only give Children bring psychological trauma, depression, low self-esteem, despair, and suicide.

Parents love their children. There is no parent in the world who does not love their own flesh and blood. They will pour all their love into their children. For example, you can save money on food and expenses, but also let your children grow up healthily without worrying about food and clothing. It’s just that we don’t understand the truth about life in the universe and the true meaning of life coming into this world, so there will be deviations in leading children.

(1) To truly love children, first of all, we should be a positive person and give our children an upright side. It is not only the satisfaction of food, clothing, housing and transportation, but more importantly, we should guide the children to live a correct life. the way. Teaching by example is worse than teaching by words. If we can set an example every moment in our lives and be responsible, responsible people who think about others and make selfless contributions to public affairs, we will definitely give our children a very positive influence. On the one hand, under the influence of positive energy, children can easily become physically and mentally healthy and become useful talents in society.

(2) True love is not doting or humility without principles. Every child has different shortcomings. In the process of children's growth, they need careful care from their parents. When they discover that their children have shortcomings and mistakes, parents need to communicate with their children thoughtfully, so as to induce children to return to correct cognition and take the right path in life. Instead of blindly being humble and bringing unfavorable factors to future development, the consequences of the police's ant's nest bursting into thousands of miles of embankment.

(3) True love will not put pressure on children or require them to compare with the world, such as academic performance requirements, school rankings, how much money they make, standards for seeking fame and wealth, etc. These excessive demands will bring invisible pressure to children. Every child is a flower of the motherland, but they will bloom in different ways, and not academic performance can determine everything.

The creator creates righteous life with different positive information, so when life comes into this world, it will show the characteristics of life in all walks of life, give full play to the greater advantages of life, and contribute to our living environment. . Only a blooming mind can maximize the talents in life. Therefore, parents must respect their children’s positive choices. As long as they can contribute to the positive development of the world, any industry they engage in is a glorious mission.

It is so heavy to reach the level of depression or suicide. I have never studied medicine and I really can’t do anything about it. Just treat it as small talk.

I have personal experience. Last year, a relative chose extreme behavior to end his journey on earth [crying] [crying] [crying] We were unexpected. Later, after analysis by our circle of relatives, he was suffering from long-term illness. Unspeakableness was a factor. The problem was that my relatives were once members of the People's Liberation Army of China. According to my father, it was impossible to follow this path after being trained by the army. It would be tantamount to desertion. So why are we still doing it? We kept thinking about his past and present and found clues. The cold war in the family was the biggest factor. Due to various complex reasons, he became a marginalized person at home and had no sense of existence. He may have been suffering from depression for a long time. . In fact, we visited the hospital several times, and he was the only one lying alone. Only the nanny happened to look at him. Well, if you are afraid of survival, then ending yourself is the so-called liberation. There is no greater sorrow than the death of one's heart.

Back to this question, the relationship between parents and children is nothing more than this. The immediate problem for children is the control of freedom. As for their future, academic future, etc., that is what their parents want. In fact, they don’t understand that much about ignorant teenagers. The thoughts of us adults cannot replace them, so we are guiding them. The only way to return is to take advantage of the situation instead of being arrogant?

So I would like to ask the Lord to discuss what behaviors of parents lead to depression or suicide in their children? I think parents have gone too far and forgotten the nature of minors. Develop study plans based on adult thinking, set achievement goals, stipulate implementation rules, and follow up with tightness, urgency, and strictness. Children in this kind of family atmosphere have lived in a "balloon" since they were sensible, blowing it up all the time, never knowing when it will burst, because even the parents almost forget to stop blowing it. And their children regard a happy family as a luxury. This is very sad [Slap in the face] [Slap in the face] [Slap in the face] They think that they are not themselves, they are just living for their terrible parents, just like the cartoon "Nezha" they watched when they were children, and they finally couldn't bear it anymore Cut off the bones to give back to the father, cut off the flesh to give back to the mother. They think wildly all day long and can't stop even if they don't want to. How can parents stop when they have so many unfinished plans? The brain has been moving at a high speed for a long time, and various physical disorders have followed one after another, such as sweaty palms, irregular heartbeat, sensitivity, despair, etc.; I started with a little hope, maybe my parents would be happy and take me to the park or something, but hope The greater the disappointment, the more I feel that I have no sense of existence, so I use self-mutilation to make myself feel pain, and regard the pain as a fact of existence. My relative often does this, tearing his skin [covering his face] [covering his face] Face][face covering] But his wife and son actually said "pervert" and didn't take it seriously.

If a person is dull and abnormal to a certain extent, it is probably a sign of depression. If the giver does not pay attention to it and alleviate it, the balloon will eventually explode. Then the melancholic is liberated. In their philosophy, melancholy means seeing through life and death and transcending oneself. What's the use of leaving those around you who are still alive with only regret? They have all gone with the wind. Even if the dead pessimists still have spirits, they would not bother to see the sorrow and tears of the living. Alas!

The topic is too heavy, so let’s leave it at that.

Parental conditional love or neglect. Any conditional love is the objectification of the loved one (whether consciously or unconsciously). The so-called "objectification" means that the reason why she/he is loved by you needs to meet some of your conditions. For example: some parents completely deny, curse, and humiliate their children in anger, and even when their children encounter emergencies or accidents, instead of comforting and protecting their children immediately, they blame and complain, etc. These are all It is based on the fact that she/he "disappointed you", "shouldn't", "how could"...; indifference is a complete denial of the meaning of your child's life. Your actions tell him/her: your life is redundant. Yes, it is my "burden" that is the source of your life, and you are dispensable. Off-topic: When answering this question and answer, I have been thinking about whether the questioner is a "parent" or a "child". If it is a parent, I am very happy. If it is a child, I have mixed feelings. The answer to the question itself needs to be objective, but you are always worried about how you, the questioner, will feel after seeing the answer. Therefore, I want to state a fact to you objectively and rationally: your life is meaningful, it does not belong to anyone, and it is your most precious gift. No matter what happens or has been experienced, as long as the sun is still there, your life has the right and qualification to bloom its splendor.

The first thing should be the family trauma in childhood. Not a grown-up hit. Shock in childhood can cause stubborn patterns to be retained in the subconscious mind. This model will produce the principle of self-denial, so if you are depressed, you cannot realize the cause. It can only be done by entering the subconscious mind. Because you lost care as a child, and children exist for their parents' emotions. When he grew up and retained this emotion, and his model had cycled into a state of qualitative change, he began to be depressed.

What is only a mild state at first should be called mild depression at this time. It is difficult for ordinary people to distinguish it. They are easily confused with melancholy (melancholy), and it is even harder for outsiders to detect it. Because most people are not that sensitive, they will feel inexplicably sad even just listening to a song. This state is a feeling of inexplicable sadness one afternoon, which is very slight. Then the slight progress to a more obvious state can be judged by paying a little attention. This means that you suddenly lose interest and confidence in doing anything, have no sense of motivation in life, and are too lazy to fall in love. The whole person is extremely lazy, sleeping until he wants to wake up naturally. The room will not be cleaned unless pressed. This is a self-determined depressive state that can be medically judged to be mild. But it is also similar to "depressed mood". In fact, this is what I think depression is, and it is also my experience. They shed tears easily when dreaming about touching things or certain things. They are sentimental and do not like to contact the outside world. At this time, even extroverted people will enter the introverted stage. He couldn't even use his diplomatic talents.

If you are not taken seriously after mild depression, you will enter moderate depression. Generally speaking, I think people with mild depression should not go to a random doctor to take medicine. Some middle school and high school students have already started taking medicine. Once you take the medicine, it is difficult to quit because it is easy to get better after taking it, but it will relapse. This is what I saw. A person with moderate depression can usually still work and study, but he has entered a bipolar state, that is, he is full of enthusiasm when he goes to work, but he is very depressed and depressed when he goes home at night.

I feel depressed in the morning, feel helpless and want to cry at night, etc. There are also cases where the person is in the same state when speaking (online language), but in real situations, he is a completely different person. At this time, even if there are two people appearing in his body, he can know that he is depressed, but some people have already relied on medicine to support their lives. There is still an opportunity for transformation at this time, as long as you live independently from the original family and pass certain psychological and philosophical practices. In my opinion, the best time to awaken is to start immediately when it is mild. It is also the best opportunity for transformation. I got better when it was mild. I have found a pattern that people with moderate depression are generally very dependent on their family, and they also have a strong psychological belief in relying on their parents, trusting their parents, and being obedient to their parents. In fact, this must be eliminated, and you must be independent. Moderate is sometimes confused with mild, but it is easy to believe in Buddhism. Because depressed people are people who have lost their faith, and their faith in their parents has died, that is, they have lost this foundation. After all, parents are the most primitive beginning. In nature, children have natural dependence and saving instincts on their parents, so the words of parents are quite important. To listen. But if they don't love you or don't love you in the right way, you're hurting and trying to make it up to them. Because you can't make up for it with your intelligence and can't make up for it, you fall into the negativity of self-denial. You need new support. When the Buddha says that it is home and a place of peace and tranquility, it is like an iron rice bowl that makes you suddenly rely on it and allow you to rely on it for the rest of your life. Believing in Buddhism is like marrying your body and soul. At that moment, it is like having a lifelong support. With tears in your eyes, you want to be saved. But those who have awakened well discovered this misunderstanding and got out of it. But he, who was not very awakened, really believed it, because this was also a good place to get away from his original family, and secondly, he would not be disturbed. The Buddha is just a shelter of this level of consciousness. Once you enter, you may not really come out, so they must recite the words every day to achieve the path to liberation, but they still recite them until they die, and they cannot get out of society. So I don’t recommend it.

Moderate schizophrenia will be better if you continue to take medicine, but worse if you don't take medicine. When it is close to severe, it can't be separated from the medicine and has suicidal tendencies. I contacted a friend who was in moderate to severe form. It's hard to trust others. Severe hallucinations and auditory hallucinations occurred. Treat the outside world as a frame-up for yourself, and always feel that someone is framing you. It's a bit of a schizophrenia state. It doesn't get good very often. It can last for a whole morning when it's moderate. But when it's severe, it's only good in the hour or two after taking the medicine. They get tired easily and need to rest and sleep after talking. Severe cases are generally inseparable from hospitals and medical clinics after being diagnosed. Being watched by others, but still having some freedom of time. Severe cases have a yearning for suicide. When they see the person downstairs, they will feel like jumping for joy. So I can no longer live a normal life. When it comes to suicide, moderation also exists, and it is also due to the suicidal pleasure caused by splitting. This is something that ordinary people cannot interpret, and only philosophical feelings and true psychology can interpret it. Philosophy can explain because philosophy itself is the originator of psychology. For example, Freud, the originator of psychology, was a philosopher, but he changed from the logical study of philosophy to the analysis of psychological activities, which is called psychology. To achieve the purpose of healing others. There is also a high degree of spiritual cultivation, which is different from Taoism. The difference between spirituality and monasticism is that spirituality combines psychology and science and adds meditation, while monasticism is dominated by the meditation school, which mainly uses awareness to remove brain thoughts. The spiritual school does not remove the brain but makes better use of the brain to think, and the process of bringing consciousness into the subconscious does not require thinking for the time being. This is based on psychology and adds potential development. It is estimated that this will still be the best way in the future. It is also a model for one’s progress. This model is not yet mature. From what I can tell, many of them have been in the "state of unity" for a long time. For example, those in India and those in Taiwan who talk about unity are still based on Taoism. The whole earth has not really entered the spiritual school. But some tentacles have been found. These people step out of monastic mode, they flicker. Cultivation is about cultivating the mind and meditating. It also cannot be used in interpersonal communication, and they do not integrate into society. While spiritual cultivation is about cultivating the soul, the invisible soul model can still enter society. It can join the Christian model and psychology. To put it bluntly, I solved my depression through philosophy. But the philosophy I discovered actually has a psychological component. The philosophy lies in how you deal with personal and original family relationships, become independent, how to deal with your emotions, not to be emotional, etc. The development of philosophical psychology into spiritual cultivation also requires a philosophical foundation, but Taoism does not. This is also their difference. Generally speaking, depressed people should not contact people from the past, classmates, or friends. These people's thinking patterns and their memories will lead you into past patterns, which are negative things. The character flaw is there.

People must go to their opposites, that is to say, rebellion is a good thing, and depression is also a good thing. These are your opposites. But the opposite is not that it is opposite to you, but that it is no longer your past. Only your opposites can you truly observe yourself three-dimensionally. If you can break through those things, you will transcend them. I also see many limitations from the opposite side. You can become a philosopher-psychologist. This is just the point where you don't need to make a house, but you can still enter ordinary life, but you are no longer the same person you used to be.

1. Use your children as a support to show your wisdom.

Usually the father or mother (especially the mother) who is favored in the family of origin (especially the middle child) is best at doing this; this approach makes the child (especially the girl) suffer a great blow and cannot establish self-worth and existence. Feeling, it is easy to go to a dead end.

2. "Perfectionist" parents - they can't tolerate any grain of sand in their eyes. If they see any shortcomings of their children, they will pursue them endlessly. It not only affects children's interest in learning, but also affects children's self-confidence, making children often extremely frustrated.

3. Indifference, no positive response to the child, no physical contact, as if the child is an accident, picked up from the "trash heap".

Parents should not humiliate their children, talk less about sensitive topics, stop talking about the pot, communicate more with their children, and make their children feel the warmth of the family. To be honest, all kinds of troubles at home, They are all caused by Feng Shui and can be adjusted and solved. Suicide is mostly caused by evil spirits and uncontrollable behavior, so it must be cured.

Too controlling

Denying everything of the child regardless of the reason.